On vacation with another family and my husband are in a fight- how do you act and play like all is f

[Anonymous]

Op, now is not the time to press for what you want BECAUSE you are ruining everyone's vacation. That is selfish. That is very selfish of you.

You now know you can't vacation with other in the future due to your marital problems. Get your own place next time. Never again subject other people to the ugliness of you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

He needs time away to talk to another woman, or women. Check his messages on facebook. Look for messaging apps on his phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs time away to talk to another woman, or women. Check his messages on facebook. Look for messaging apps on his phone.

Or, he just thinks OP is a gigantic PITA and will use ahh excuse to get away for a few minutes. We know NOTHING about their relationship other than OP wants to spend vacation causing drama and fighting. So lay off the jumping to conclusions, psycho.

[Anonymous]

Agree he needs to be taking the 2.5 yr old on those errands. It's too much of a safety issue. That's parenting 101, if one of you leaves, the kids ratio has to change. (unless you are doing house reno or something not safe with kids along for the ride).

Moving beyond that, here's the convo you need to have/what you need to agree on:

You should never go on a beach vacay with him until the kids are old/safe/independent enough.

You are not the type of couple who should vacay with others. Or maybe even each other.

[Anonymous]

Does he have an alcohol problem? My sister was always running out to get things at Walgreens, etc. during family events/ trips. We found out years later that she was hitting up the ABC store.

[Anonymous]

This DH and DW sound like horrible douche bags. I feel sorry for the functional family that is on vacation with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I have wondered if he's having an affair. He doesn't seem like the type, but then probably most women say that. He's always on his ESPN and news websites and Facebook... at least from what I can tell the few times I've looked at his phone when he went bathroom.
I think he's stressed by family life and tries to escape. I work long hours as attorney- so not like I'm not pulling my weight.
But on vacation with danger of water, I have to have help. Even with the 9 year old.
I agree I need to put on happy face and be agreeable and nice.
But I'm so aggravated it is really hard.
My 13 year old senses but yet doesn't really get it. But he is so upset anytime we have words. So I need to do this for everyone involved.

What do you being an attorney have to do with it? If you are working such long hours maybe he feels resentful because he does most of the daily handling of the kids at-home since you are, you know, working long hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So embarrassing. I just want to cry- or divorce. My husband and I do not get along and we are fighting on vacation. Not fighting really in front of them, but they can clearly tell we are in a fight.
Stupid stuff- I feel like he's not helping me with the kids and keeps on his phone or "running errands". I'm sick of it. The other dad is so great with their kids and mine is an a-hole.
It's a beach vacation and we have a 2.5 year old (plus 9 and 13 yr old) so it's all hands on deck at beach. He had to run to Starbucks, run to Walgreens, etc.
Really!!! Can't you help me on the beach with the kids.
So I'm feeling aggravated at him.
Tell me how to act like everything is just fine.

Don't react or be tense in front of them. Find a good time alone and "nicely" explain to DH that he needs to stop the errands and help with the kids. Don't argue, but tell him to limit the phone time and he's making it very noticeable to everyone. Hopefully that will sit in his brain.

When you get home I'd find out all the numbers he's called etc. Get the phone bill or whatever it takes. Sounds odd to me...enough where I would get to the bottom of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I only allow close family on our vacations.

My husband has a history of being irrational and angry during vacations, mostly because he has ADHD which he refuses to treat, and can't handle unknowns and transitions.

Horrible. Why bring someone that acts like that to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Ugh don't ruin your friends' vacation too. Suck it up, decide you're going to have a good time in spite of him, and deal with it later. I also agree that sometimes men step it up when they are around each other - any luck?

[Anonymous]

Never vacation with other people. Often it doesn't work.

Why is he going alone on these errands?

[Anonymous]

Be wary of him trying to aggregate you and escalate things in order to outwardly appear like a poor picked on victim.
Just smile and shrug, smile and shrug when someone asks where he is or what he is doing.

[Anonymous]

Aggravate you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do it. Act like you're at work and have to be pleasant and professional. Don't ruin everyone's vacation.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's cheating and going off to talk on the phone to her. Or maybe he's out looking for extra fun on his vacation.

Think about how you'll proceed once you get home.

+1 was my instinct too

[Anonymous]

Put a life jacket on the 2 and 9 yr old if they're making you nervous around water... and make the 13 yr old help with one kid. Not ideal but get through it and figure it out when you get home. Something is up for him to be avoiding everyone he's on vacation with. Yes it sucks that he's not being as hands on as the other dad but not the time or place to deal with now.