Dating a Bi sexual man

[Anonymous]

Aren't you worried about STDs? This is not to sound critical or judgemental, but it is fact. Gay men have a higher risk for STDs. How many men has he had sex with versus women?

https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-msm.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't you worried about STDs? This is not to sound critical or judgemental, but it is fact. Gay men have a higher risk for STDs. How many men has he had sex with versus women?

https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-msm.htm

Bi isn't the same as gay. There are many bisexual people that generally only have sex with the opposite sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will be people who will say it should be fine as long as he is faithful to you (or to however you arrange your relationship). There are certainly "bi" men and there are certainly those who are attracted to both genders who faithfully enter a long term relationship with women.

But truth be told, I'd still be highly skeptical. My gay friends all say the same. The number of "bi" men is grossly inflated by those who are genuinely gay but who, for whatever reasons, still want to be with a woman but still try to sleep around on the sly and call themselves bisexual, and the handful of men who are genuinely bi almost always dump their gay lovers for a woman in the long run (the call for a family and children and cultural norms is just to strong). A man who came out to me as bisexual at the onset of a relationship is only sending major red flags. He might try to justify it as being honest and truthful, but there's a time for truth and there's a time for secrets and if I were bisexual I wouldn't confess to past relationships with men until I was well into the relationship and had proven my loyalties.

8 months is well into a relationship and has proven loyalties. Because if they were in a relationship for 2 years, talking marriage, then he drops this bomb on her, or it's mentioned somehow by a family member, or friend, she would then feel that he wasn't honest with her for so long. I think 3-5 months is too early to share that kind of news, but 6+ months in, the relationship is on the serious side, so his timing and their conversation makes sense to me. Also, like you said, if he is truly bi, he did dump his bi/gay male lover and ended up pursuing relationships with women after which indicated bi to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aren't you worried about STDs? This is not to sound critical or judgemental, but it is fact. Gay men have a higher risk for STDs. How many men has he had sex with versus women?

https://www.cdc.gov/std/life-stages-populations/stdfact-msm.htm

Bi isn't the same as gay. There are many bisexual people that generally only have sex with the opposite sex.

from what I understand, its not really gay sex, it's blow jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Presumptions and generalizations exist for a reason, unfortunately.

Too many people have been burned and hurt due to "bi" partners regardless of the gender. As many gay men will tell you, the gay app and hookup scene is rife with bi men, whether truly bi or gay, looking for sex on the sly while in committed relationships with women. I personally would not be comfortable in a relationship with a bisexual person because it substantially increases the odds of a unhappy ending. Nor would I be comfortable in a relationship with someone who is also sexually attracted to the gender opposite mine. Men and sex...well, it'd always be in the back of my mind. Enough said.

Of course, different people have different expectations and tolerance for different types of relationships so what works for one person doesn't work for others. But if the OP is worried at this point, her instincts are probably telling her what her tolerance and comfort levels are.

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him you ain't cut out for it.
If you really want to understand HIM then you'd talk to him and rely on the information he provides as opposed to simply seeking a short cut and assigning a generic label that will allow you to make presumptions based on those corresponding generalizations.

This is Op, sorry I left for a bit. We are still together. We are both low drive, maybe because he is gay? But he doesn't come across that way at all. Since we are both low drive, best friends, partners it seems to be working well. We have a blast together, vacations, wineries, you name it. Sex is fun when it does happen, which is once every 2 months. We cuddle every night, we kiss, hold hands. I actually think this is the right fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Presumptions and generalizations exist for a reason, unfortunately.

Too many people have been burned and hurt due to "bi" partners regardless of the gender. As many gay men will tell you, the gay app and hookup scene is rife with bi men, whether truly bi or gay, looking for sex on the sly while in committed relationships with women. I personally would not be comfortable in a relationship with a bisexual person because it substantially increases the odds of a unhappy ending. Nor would I be comfortable in a relationship with someone who is also sexually attracted to the gender opposite mine. Men and sex...well, it'd always be in the back of my mind. Enough said.

Of course, different people have different expectations and tolerance for different types of relationships so what works for one person doesn't work for others. But if the OP is worried at this point, her instincts are probably telling her what her tolerance and comfort levels are.

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him you ain't cut out for it.
If you really want to understand HIM then you'd talk to him and rely on the information he provides as opposed to simply seeking a short cut and assigning a generic label that will allow you to make presumptions based on those corresponding generalizations.

This is Op, sorry I left for a bit. We are still together. We are both low drive, maybe because he is gay? But he doesn't come across that way at all. Since we are both low drive, best friends, partners it seems to be working well. We have a blast together, vacations, wineries, you name it. Sex is fun when it does happen, which is once every 2 months. We cuddle every night, we kiss, hold hands. I actually think this is the right fit.

It's a good fit if you don't mind that he has a boyfriend on the side. That is a life choice that you can make if you don't mind it. Make sure he uses protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gay for sure. Or maybe he is European?
Regardless, have him tested.

European here - WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Presumptions and generalizations exist for a reason, unfortunately.

Too many people have been burned and hurt due to "bi" partners regardless of the gender. As many gay men will tell you, the gay app and hookup scene is rife with bi men, whether truly bi or gay, looking for sex on the sly while in committed relationships with women. I personally would not be comfortable in a relationship with a bisexual person because it substantially increases the odds of a unhappy ending. Nor would I be comfortable in a relationship with someone who is also sexually attracted to the gender opposite mine. Men and sex...well, it'd always be in the back of my mind. Enough said.

Of course, different people have different expectations and tolerance for different types of relationships so what works for one person doesn't work for others. But if the OP is worried at this point, her instincts are probably telling her what her tolerance and comfort levels are.

Anonymous wrote:Just dump him you ain't cut out for it.
If you really want to understand HIM then you'd talk to him and rely on the information he provides as opposed to simply seeking a short cut and assigning a generic label that will allow you to make presumptions based on those corresponding generalizations.

This is Op, sorry I left for a bit. We are still together. We are both low drive, maybe because he is gay? But he doesn't come across that way at all. Since we are both low drive, best friends, partners it seems to be working well. We have a blast together, vacations, wineries, you name it. Sex is fun when it does happen, which is once every 2 months. We cuddle every night, we kiss, hold hands. I actually think this is the right fit.

It's a good fit if you don't mind that he has a boyfriend on the side. That is a life choice that you can make if you don't mind it. Make sure he uses protection.

Honey there isn't a man on this Earth that is happy with sex once every 2 months. He's cheating on you with men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

Bi man here. Been sleeping with both men and women for 20+ years, and still greatly enjoy both. Count me among the rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

Bi man here. Been sleeping with both men and women for 20+ years, and still greatly enjoy both. Count me among the rare.

would you get married to one gender, or stay single? have your been in any long term relationships? if yes, with what sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

You are talking out of your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

Bi man here. Been sleeping with both men and women for 20+ years, and still greatly enjoy both. Count me among the rare.

Question for you: Do you want to get married, if yes, to a woman or a man? And why that gender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

Bi man here. Been sleeping with both men and women for 20+ years, and still greatly enjoy both. Count me among the rare.

Question for you: Do you want to get married, if yes, to a woman or a man? And why that gender?

Yes, I would marry. With women, the connection is emotional and sexual. With men, the connection is only sexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh I get it. Women can be bi but 'bi men' are actually closeted gays. Thanks for explaining.

It's actually a proven fact. Bi men are very rare. Men operate in black and white thinking compared to women, it's no different in their sexual orientation.

So, how are you an expert on these mysterious "bi-but-really-gay men"? Because you seem to think you have it all figured out to speak in such blanket terms. Really I do not think you know as much as you say.