Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove

[Anonymous]

The fact that I have a FT job and that we employ a nanny. No, sorry I couldn't drop everything and do X, remember how I'm at work in the middle of a workday? Yes, the nanny took him to that. Remember how I work in the middle of a workday?

That we don't keep juice or large supplies of cake or cookies in the house.

That our lives are easier when our kids get regular naps.

That young kids can do more than finger paint for arts and crafts.

[Anonymous]

Both parents and ILs think I'm weird and rigid about ensuring that my 4yo and 1.5yo both get good naps, even during visits and on vacation. Then, in the same conversation, they marvel at how well-behaved and calm my girls always are. Huh...could it be that they are well-rested?

[Anonymous]

My mom is so ridiculously old school.

She was convinced my daughter was freezing cold. In Southern California. In the summer.

She insists on burping the baby, forcefully slapping the baby's back for *as long as it takes* for the baby to burp.

I am definitely not clean enough on a day to day basis for her. She mops every day. I do not.

These are just a few examples.

[Anonymous]

My mother never forgave me for quitting my job to stay home with my two children, despite the fact that both have special needs that needed more intense parantal involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother never forgave me for quitting my job to stay home with my two children, despite the fact that both have special needs that needed more intense parantal involvement.

I'm sorry, OP. That hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the things you do a certain way that meets with certain disapproval from your parents or ILs?

For me, the list includes:

-Eating fast food/at restaurants the very few times a year we go on road trips. ILs are horrified that we would go to Cracker Barrell rather than carting half our refridgerator around in a cooler.

-Keeping flour in the refridgerator. This is my husband's "thing"; I don't care at all, but my mom is HORRIFIED that we do this.

-Not folding laundry the NANOSECOND it comes out of the dryer. We never let it sit for more than about half a day, but my MIL always acts like we are nuts and makes a point to be all, "The dryer has stopped; the dryer stopped, did you know?!"

Just silly stuff, but curious to know what this dynamic is like for others.

I buy flour in in bulk and keep the majority of it in the freezer with just a small amount out at a time. It keeps longer this way, so I'd imagine it would be similar with keeping it in the fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs expect us to stay up late (11 p.m. or so) to greet them at the door, *then stay up and chat,* on the days that they CHOOSE to arrive very late on visits. They could leave the house whenever they want, and arrive much earlier (only a 4-hour drive), but for various factors and "traffic matricies," they choose to leave after dinner time and arrive late.

My husband and I leave the porch light on, key under the mat, and lights on in the living room and down the hall and in the guest bedroom. But we no longer stay up. We make sure they know we have our cell phones on and at our bedside in case they truly need help. But they think we are terribly rude "not to greet our guests." That's just not how it's "done."

It is incredibly rude of THEM to plan on arriving so late (when the live 4hrs away???).

[Anonymous]

My mom is truly believes:

drinking cold water is bad for your health.

the green shoot inside a garlic clove is poisonous and should be cut out.

Microwaves are killing us, never ever ever heat food up in a microwave!

She also hates to waste food so I grew up in a house where I had to eat everything on my plate, and if there were any left overs that were not enough for another meal, someone had to eat it (usually my dad). I still struggle with over eating. I'm not fat, but I have a problem with forcing myself to eat everything on my plate, even when I'm full.

[Anonymous]

My father was HORRIFIED to find out we didn't have a weekend nanny. And that was after he got over his heart attack that we didn't have a live-in, or at the VERY least have the nanny stay to bathe and put them to sleep.

Him: "But what do you DO with them all weekend?"
Me: We haul them around to all the stuff we do, and when we're doing boring stuff at home, they play.
Him: You should get someone.
Me: We have each other.
Him: No, a professional - call an agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father was HORRIFIED to find out we didn't have a weekend nanny. And that was after he got over his heart attack that we didn't have a live-in, or at the VERY least have the nanny stay to bathe and put them to sleep.

Him: "But what do you DO with them all weekend?"
Me: We haul them around to all the stuff we do, and when we're doing boring stuff at home, they play.
Him: You should get someone.
Me: We have each other.
Him: No, a professional - call an agency.

[Anonymous]

I don't know that it's necessarily disapproval, but I've gotten comments about:

Breastfeeding past 6 mos.
Not staying for events that are after bedtime.
Keeping a nap routine.
Rear-facing.
Room sharing at 9 mos.
Back to sleep / no stuffed animals or blankets.

Whatever. Not their kid.

I'm a pretty easy-going mom with a pretty easy going kid, but the things I don't bend on are health and safety.

[Anonymous]

When our car was totaled (oh, the things that happen when you park on the street in DC!) and we decided not to replace it, MIL flipped out. The words "But you can't live without a car!" actually came out of her mouth. She went so far as to call my mother in a desperate attempt to get her to intervene and "stop this ridiculous thinking."

My mother comments EVERY DAMN TIME she visits about our lack of microwave.

Both of them think there's something deeply wrong with us living in a small rowhouse in the city. "Don't you wish you had more space?" No. "Ugh, I can't believe you're okay having people on either side of you." It's a rowhouse, kinda how this whole thing works. "I don't understand how all this noise doesn't make you nervous." Because it doesn't. "Why can't you be like your sister a buy a normal house in a normal neighborhood?" I'd sooner slit my wrists than live in the far flung reaches of outer suburbia in a cookie cutter house circa 1992.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our car was totaled (oh, the things that happen when you park on the street in DC!) and we decided not to replace it, MIL flipped out. The words "But you can't live without a car!" actually came out of her mouth. She went so far as to call my mother in a desperate attempt to get her to intervene and "stop this ridiculous thinking."

My mother comments EVERY DAMN TIME she visits about our lack of microwave.

Both of them think there's something deeply wrong with us living in a small rowhouse in the city. "Don't you wish you had more space?" No. "Ugh, I can't believe you're okay having people on either side of you." It's a rowhouse, kinda how this whole thing works. "I don't understand how all this noise doesn't make you nervous." Because it doesn't. "Why can't you be like your sister a buy a normal house in a normal neighborhood?" I'd sooner slit my wrists than live in the far flung reaches of outer suburbia in a cookie cutter house circa 1992.

Great to live like this. Annoying AF to be a visitor in this type of scenario. (Which is why they should hotel/Uber/rent a car, whatever, instead of commenting on your life, but still. No one actually wants to sleep on an air mattress in a 10x10 "den.")

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is truly believes:

drinking cold water is bad for your health.

the green shoot inside a garlic clove is poisonous and should be cut out.

Microwaves are killing us, never ever ever heat food up in a microwave!

She also hates to waste food so I grew up in a house where I had to eat everything on my plate, and if there were any left overs that were not enough for another meal, someone had to eat it (usually my dad). I still struggle with over eating. I'm not fat, but I have a problem with forcing myself to eat everything on my plate, even when I'm full.

Is your mom Asian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father was HORRIFIED to find out we didn't have a weekend nanny. And that was after he got over his heart attack that we didn't have a live-in, or at the VERY least have the nanny stay to bathe and put them to sleep.

Him: "But what do you DO with them all weekend?"
Me: We haul them around to all the stuff we do, and when we're doing boring stuff at home, they play.
Him: You should get someone.
Me: We have each other.
Him: No, a professional - call an agency.

Can I have your dad!?