How much support for dh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go but we tend to skip all but the most obviously family focused work events with each other's employers.

Yeah people. Unless you are an owner of company, keep the family and work seperate. Maybe have friends over from work if they are true friends, but why are these spouses going to work functions --is this the 50s where you wife cooks for your boss? So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you've always gone to the event AND you've forgiven your husband, then go.

Don't overthink it. Hold your head high, be charming and engaging and screw anyone who thinks they can sit and judge another couple.

Plus 1 !!!!!

[Anonymous]

What did he do?

Did he get drunk and have a one-night stand? Did he sexually harass a coworker? It's hard to imagine something so egregious that people would still be talking about it 4 months later AND he would be facing possible demotion.

So, how bad is it?

Is it just standard infidelity? Or did he try to grope the client's wife or daughter?

[Anonymous]

Well if you don't go will he do it again?

[Anonymous]

Don't go! No need to subject yourself to that. Plant to have a migraine, stomach flu, etc.

[Anonymous]

You need to go, head high and really do not think about what others think. Show you support your husband. They should too.

[Anonymous]

OP, how is the sex in your relationship?

[Anonymous]

If he cheated do not go.

If he got drunk and pissed in the punch go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard to say without knowing the details but on the surface if it's that big that you think people will be talking about it 4 months later, he could get demoted and it involved something that you had forgive, I wouldn't go. I can't imagine in less than 4 months whatever drove your DH to do what he did has been resolved so it would lead people to say what 00:21 mentioned that either wife doesn't know or she is staying with him for the money. It's unfair but if you go, you get judged versus having him strictly deal with the consequences of his actions. The fact that you are still together and that you go to some future event is your support.

Wow, how do you spend this much time caring about what other people think of you?

[Anonymous]

Do you work? Have a work conflict.

Wives tagging along on business trips is sort of passé anyway.

[Anonymous]

The behavior is probably mostly forgotten, but your absence will refresh it in peoples minds. If they see that you've forgiven him and moved on, they're more likely to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I would go- not because I want to show that I've forgiven and stand by my man, but to help keep him from being demoted. If you do divorce in the future this will help you out in terms of alimony and child support. You don't want to get stuck supporting him or get less money from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he cheated do not go.

If he got drunk and pissed in the punch go.

I'm inclined to agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should go. After four months they've moved on to something else. It's also likely that spouses don't know about it - neither my spouse nor I would bring this kind of gossip home, simply because we don't have enough time to talk about the things we WANT to talk about, much less worry about you. I think other people may not gossip about it because they don't want to raise questions about similar behavior of their own. No one is perfect. No marriage is perfect. Go.

I agree with this PP. The chances of DH's coworkers sharing this with their spouses is slim, especially if the coworkers are men, because they do not want their own spouses to be concerned that they could act similarly. And the coworkers who know about DH's behavior won't be openly discussing it amongst themselves, especially if it's serious enough to warrant further action on the part of the company. Most people stay quiet with what they know about their coworkers, especially with regard to things that happen on business trips.

As for what the people with knowledge may or may not think of you, I wouldn't worry about it. For all they know, you may have dirt on them - or your DH might.

[Anonymous]

Did he cheat with a colleague on the trip and get busted?