do you look down on homeschooling moms?

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have known plenty of homeschooled kids and very, very few who have adequate social skills. My dh was homeschooled by very social parents, so while his social skills are good, his academics and real-world experience were way behind when I met him in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. But I do wonder about their kids social skills.

I don't worry about this. School is the only time in a persons life where they are expected to spend every day with people who are only and exclusively their own age, and often similar SES because of public school zoning or private schools prohibitive costs. A kid can learn a lot more, IMO, being out in real world situations and interacting with others of a range of ages, backgrounds, SES, etc. Classes, volunteering etc are all things that help a child learn how to socialize in a way thats actually practical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or at least think their kids are receiving an inferior education?

Yes, if you aren't properly trained to educate the material and/or don't have the skills to effectively and efficiently impart knowledge to others (different than parenting).

+1. If you have a college degree in education, cool. If not, send your kids to learn from someone who does (barring any special needs that require home education).

[Anonymous]

OP do you think most people jump to conclusions and make sweeping generalizations?

What are you looking for in this thread, really?

[Anonymous]

Depends- I know a family whose kid is definitely on the spectrum and is also brilliant (profoundly gifted). Traditional school just didn't work- he was academically just so far beyond (e.g. algebra, 4th grade) and had serious social issues- not a behavior problem, just could not read cues and engage with other kids.

She homeschools but employs subject experts (writing and math tutors) to meet with a few times per week and to craft his curriculum.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is homeschooling. I think she's a little nuts. Her kids are bright and smart, so their academic work is not the problem. It's that she is doing it because she thinks they will learn bad things/devil temptation in public school. Like she's keeping them in a Catholic bubble where she can properly educate them about Jesus. It just doesn't seem like the best way to raise functioning members of society. You do not live and work in a bubble, you live in the real world. Which means being able to be around kids of all faiths and beliefs and STILL BELIEVE. it's not her choice if her kids still believe later in life. But it's clear to me she will be utterly devastated if they aren't good Catholics when they get older.

She has five kids. You can imagine at least one of them will probably not be the Christ-loving vessel of hope she wants them all to be.

[Anonymous]

Should I? Don't know any though.

[Anonymous]

Quite the contrary!

The homeschooling mothers I know took their kids out of school because they felt they could do better, in terms of intellectual rigor and academics.
Their children are well-spoken and incredibly cultured and well-rounded.

I looked into homeschooling my children, since one is gifted and learning disabled and the other may have an extra-curricular that will interfere with school in the future, but for the moment I am relying on advanced programs in public school, and enriching on the side.

[Anonymous]

My only exposure to homeschooling was my ultra conservative and religious family members who homeschooled to keep their kids away from the evil heathens at our public school. The parents weren't well educated themselves (barely graduated high school, I'm talking finished by the skin of their teeth here) so the kids learned very little beyond extensive bible study. That colors my thoughts on homeschooling in general and I have a knee jerk negative reaction to it.

[Anonymous]

I think most of them think their children are "special" in some way -- either profoundly gifted and/or learning disabled. I imagine some actually are one or the other. But in at least as many cases, I think Mommy can't let go, so she finds an excuse to keep them at home.

I would guess 1 in 100 homeschooled kids is getting a decent education. SAT prep PP's story was pretty powerful, and not at all surprising.

There's more to education than winning the spelling bee.

[Anonymous]

Not universally. I know several homeschoolers and they are all quite different. For example…

In one family, the homeschooled child is highly gifted and they felt the local schools were not providing an appropriately challenging education. Dad is a college math professor and the DD seems to be well above grade level, participates in a lot of extracurricular activities and has good social skills. They have a younger DD with special needs and that child goes to a public school that is meeting her needs. For them, it seems like an appropriate choice driven by the needs to the specific child and they are managing it well.

Another family has 4 children close in age, the mom seems overwhelmed, and I doubt that the kids are staying on track. She lives in an area with good public schools and she’s not an uber-religious/schools-are-the-devil type of person so I don’t really get her motivation. Seems like part of it at least is a desire to be the super-do-it-all mom. For them, it seems like a mistake that will hurt the kids. It’s more about the needs of the mom than the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spent my grad school years and early 20s as an ACT/SAT prep coach. Over those 7 years I worked with maybe 20/25 homeschoolers…so not a huge sample but also more than what most people work with. Two of those kids were on track with an average high school jr/senior. One was a genius and way above the average peer and one was very smart but not quite genius. The rest were vastly behind their peers. We couldn't even get 8-10 of them to pass a GED test. I mean the gap was HUGE. Even compared to my under preforming kids from school systems that graduate 40 percent they were significantly behind. So I do judge a little bit because Ive rarely seen it work out. And thats not even touching the social implications.

I worked with a woman who conducted a lot of focus groups with children and through that she'd interacted with a lot of homeschooled kids over the years. Her take was similar, that it was the rare child who had good social skills. Most were socially awkward with their peers, although they tended to be comfortable talking to an adult.

[Anonymous]

I do, yes. I knew a number of homeschoolers of the religious variety growing up. They all liked to talk about how far they were above grade level, but the ones that actually enrolled in school were enrolled a grade behind their age group and weren't exactly academic all stars. Also, yes, they tended to be a bit odd.

I can see some situations where homeschooling can be the best option for a particular child, but I think most kids do better in a more structured school environment.

[Anonymous]

I think it's super weird and arrogant. I'd steer clear of homeschooling families.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to turn this into a HS debate so I'll just make this one post. I think the concern is valid about the social skills of homeschoolers and there are certainly some with very little. There are some homeschooling parents with the goal of keeping their kids in a little bubble. But let's not pretend a traditional school environment is all that indicative of the real world, either. Maybe your kids go to super special schools where this is not the case, but to me, being segregated by age and zipcode/socioeconomic bracket, and sitting in a classroom for many hours with these same people doesn't exactly resemble "life". We homeschool, and part of the reason I think it is beneficial to my kids is that we have a lot more time to actually go out in the world and DO things, interact with a variety of people. My kids' days are spent out and about, with people in the community. They play with the neighbor kids. They're on sports teams. They socialize with kids from local homeschooling groups.