Is my younger child destined to a lifetime of lame birthdays?
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Anonymous
| Why do you believe all of her "big" gifts are destined to be hand me downs? Seems crappy. |
Anonymous
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OP here: thanks for all the advice and anecdotes. DDs are 2.5 years apart, and at this stage, the older one outgrows things just as the younger one grows into it - though yes, that will probably be less of an issue down the road.
I like the idea of "improving" the hand-me-downs that the little one is waiting to grow into. Part of the problem is we don't have much space, and grandparents that like to give things instead of experiences. But whatever, we'll deal, and probably do more experiences from the family and let the grandparents get the gifts. I also really like the idea of a birthday tree, thanks PP, that sounds fun! I'll look into that! |
Anonymous
OP here - I never said I'd give her hand-me-downs as a gift, but I'm not going to go out and buy a new bike when there is a perfectly suitable one in the attic. That wouldn't be a gift, just something that we make her own when its time for her to use it. It also means that a bike, etc. is one less option for a "big" gift when it comes time for Christmas/Birthday. |
Anonymous
| Honestly yes. DH is a holiday birthday and it's HARD. He definitely doesn't really get separate birthday and Christmas gifts. And since his is right after Christmas, no one really wants to celebrate again and are burnt out from the holidays. |
Anonymous
Do people really have the time and inclination to add a birthday to the mix in the days leading up to Christmas, though? Just curious because I am facing a Christmas time birth soon. |
Anonymous
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I know several people with birthdays close to Christmas, including my cousin who was born on the 24th. None of them have ever had problems. You can schedule the party for a few days later than you usually would, and make it extra special! My DD once had a dino party where the activity was finding and analyzing dino poop to find out whether they were herbivores or carnivores. As for gifts, there is a plethora of choice these days. I'm sure you can find a few items her older sister doesn't have. What will make things easier by far is not spoiling them like crazy at each gifting event, so that whatever the date, you always have ideas for presents! |
Anonymous
I'm 14:31 - want to note that our second loves getting hand-me-downs from the oldest, including bikes. But then I shop at second hand shops for their clothes, so they don't associate used with bad. When I do the budget, I realize that actually we spend an equal amount on both kiddos, even with the occasional hand-me-down. Toys and books are shared property, after the first few plays. So the second just ends up with more stuff to play with in general, which the oldest doesn't mind. |
Anonymous
| DC#3 is born on 12/26. She is turning 6 this year and will have her first EVER b-day party. She doesn't get it, thus far, that her b-day kind of sucks and she gets no presents the rest of the year. She seems to think that she gets more presents than anyone else at xmas time (which is technically true) and so she's got the best deal ever. |
Anonymous
| I would do a half birthday in June. I've known some seriously bitter cakes people with birthdays around Xmas/NYE. |
Anonymous
| I think she'll be fine. |
Anonymous
Lol. It's not like you have a choice to make the bday not then. |
Anonymous
You should not make every big thing a hand-me down. There is being frugal, and then there is being cheap and unfair. Every bike she owns as a child should not be a hand-me down, regardless of the status of the bike in the attic. And yes, I have two children that are 17 months apart. My youngest son always gets his own smaller bike or scooter. You will send your younger daughter a clear message if EVERYTHING she gets was new and shiny for someone else. As for parties and such, I have a friend whose child was born a few days after Christmas. She just sends out the invites a lot earlier than usual. If we are in town, we ALWAYS go to his birthday party. |
Anonymous
| LOL I don't consider 2.5 years to be close in age!!! Very average. |
Anonymous
Eh, I'm the youngest of many more than 2. it's not that big a deal, assuming the handmedowns are still in nice condition and stylish. When she gets a bit bigger you can ask her "Would you rather get a new bike for your birthday, or use Larla's old bike and get a scooter?" Bet she'll pick the old bike and new scooter. One of the advantages of being the youngest is that the basics are already covered, so you can get her the "extras" for her presents. Also, as they get older, the hand me down thing is less of an issue. She may not be quite the same size as older sib or she'll have different interests, so will need different stuff. Plus things get used up more by older kids, so there's just less to hand down. It won't be that big an issue. |
Anonymous
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LOL, my younger sister was always taller so I couldn't hand tubs siren to her! And the bike they get will last for years, it's not like the baby snowsuit, the bike she gets at 5 years old will last until 3rd, 4th or 5th grade and she gets a 10 speed bike. So little sister will need her own bike. Trust me.
I am a Dec 20 birthday, things were never combined. Had bday party with friends the weekend before Christmas, everyone came, gave bday gifts. Just not an issue, honestly. Xmas tree went up before my birthday, etc. But my parents never had the "poor you, woe is you, you have a Christmas birthday" attitude, and that set the tone for positive not negative thinking. |