Is my younger child destined to a lifetime of lame birthdays?
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Anonymous
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Two strikes against her in the gift department. 1, she's the younger sister (close in age) and 2) she was born a few days after Christmas. Seriously, I have no idea what to get her. I've been told to never, ever combine birthday and Christmas gifts, which we'll do, but I feel like she's always going to get the short end of the stick. Either her sister will already have (and hand down) "big" gifts like a bike or she'll get it for Christmas (or her birthday, but then opposite is true...) DD is not really old enough to notice yet, but that day is soon coming.
Has anyone successfully mitigated this? |
Anonymous
| Honestly there are worse things. I wouldn't worry about it. |
Anonymous
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This is my husband. He's 35 and still a bit sensitive about birthdays. (OTOH, my ILs totally sidelined him to deal with his dramatic sister.)
What about starting a strong birthday tradition that is activity based instead of object based? For example, it's a weekend away or a day trip or a thing with just mom and dad - get a sitter for sister. |
Anonymous
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You could do a fun half birthday celebration in June. Totally seperate form the winter holidays, and it's a chance to give her different types of gifts than you would give in December.
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Anonymous
| Move her birthday celebration to spring or summer. Celebrate it as her half birthday. Make it big. Throw parties with her class for her half birthday. At her real birthday, have a cake and a small present and move on. |
Anonymous
| Yep. Make her b-day a family trip each year. |
Anonymous
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I was born on Christmas. Mom tried half birthdays but that sucked. She ended up making Christmas dinner my birthday celebration. I got my cards, cake, and presents after dinner. We still do this.
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Anonymous
| Once she is a little bit older, you need to do experience gifts instead of presents. Trampoline place, zoo, museum, great wolfe lodge etc. |
Anonymous
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OP- yes your child will end up in therapy because she does not get 2x gifts.
Lifetime of self-doubt and pessimism will creep in and she will be emotionally damaged for ever. She will be institutionalized soon. |
Anonymous
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My DH is two weeks before Christmas and my DD two weeks after. When he was a kid, his mom wouldn't put up the tree until after his birthday. Made for a nice separation. We do this for our DD (take the decorations down). Your DD's birthday is much closer, but could you take the decorations down? Though maybe that would cause conflict if the other sister thinks Christmas is being rushed for little sister...?
As for gifts, just try to evenly distribute the gifts between birthday and Christmas, and make sure sister's birthday + Christmas is not more than younger sister's birthday + Christmas. Maybe make Christmas the "big" gift holiday and birthdays multiple small gift holiday for both girls? |
Anonymous
| Our second daughter's bday is a couple of days before Christmas. We can't do half birthdays because her sister's bday is in June. We used to celebrate with family on Xmas eve but have shifted that to Xmas day to give more of a break between the bday and Xmas and to make bday feel more special. |
Anonymous
My brother's is also 2 weeks before (I'm a month after) and my mom would do the same - then she found out when we were in college that my brother always liked all the Christmas decorations around his birthday. It's like he was born during a really special time of year rather than some boring week in June. I'm a big fan of asking what people want. Is your DD big enough to express opinions of what she wants? Take the day off from work and let her choose what she gets to do. It's up to her if it's special time with the parents or to include big sis. When kids are little, they don't understand the monetary value of presents - so just make sure she gets something fun - don't give her everything for Christmas. Regarding hand-me-downs, make it special for her. Sure, she gets plenty of clothes from her sis, but a few items should be new as well. Add a basket, handle bar streamers, or those clink things to the wheel spokes to upgrade the bike for her. |
Anonymous
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My DD's birthday is 3 days after Christmas. We do not take down the decorations. She actually has a "birthday tree," which is one of those tiny maybe 3 ft tall trees that she gets to decorate all to her own taste. At the moment it is covered in what feels like 10 lbs of tinsel and colored lights, but it is hers to do what she likes with. All her birthday gifts go under that tree. We started it because relatives would ship her Christmas and birthday presents in the same box so we ended up with all these wrapped birthday gifts in a pile on a shelf for 2+ weeks. She also seems to love (she's 6) so far that the house is all gussied up at her birthday.
Then we treat it like any other birthday, cake, she picks the place to go out to eat (or a favorite meal at home if she wants) and we usually host (if she's having one that year) her party the first weekend school is back in session to ensure that people are back in town. I have found it hard to come up with enough suggestions to cover both events for all the friends and relatives who ask what to get her, but we make a point of not buying toys and such throughout the year and I try to think ahead to where she might be developmentally in 6 months so that we have things that will last through the year. I think you can run into the hand-me-down thing with siblings regardless of the age difference and if your kids are close in age, they will each need their own bike, scooter, etc. anyway. |
Anonymous
| How close in age? |
Anonymous
| Not sure what the problem is. She get C gift and then she gets b gift. I was born a few days after Christmans and I have loved it. |