Need help with friends we like whose daughter is a brat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestion for me whose DD is a brat? With major attitude? I've raised her the same as my DS who is a joy to be around and somehow failed completely with her. We went to friend's for Thanksgiving who have a bit younger DD. When they were both younger they got along great, now my DD talks to air, avoids eye contact and is a serious brat to be around even at home. I read "yes, your teen is crazy" and don't let it bother me at home and I correct her all the time, but without losing my temper. Then she gets mad that she can't get me angry! I correct her even at friend's house, and she gets a bit better. She is not a brat with her friends but really bratty in some situations and even once to her pediatrician. Any advice?

Stop expecting major holidays to be easy. Stop expecting 100% good behavior. Stop comparing your kids. Get a sense of humor.

And, stop correcting her all the time. Jeezo pete!!!

So I should let her be rude to my friends and their kids? I have a sense of humor, that is why she gets mad at me because I don't get upset with her behavior. I called her a brat here, but not to her face ever. Why can't I be realistic? I don't expected perfect behavior all the time, just medium amount of ok behavior. What is wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

PP, OP here. I wish the child's parents I described in the OP had half as much insight as you and wished to do something about it! You do have the right to expect a medium amount of ok behavior. Kids need structure and discipline.

[Anonymous]

Ice cream = spoiled?!? When did this happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, OP here. I wish the child's parents I described in the OP had half as much insight as you and wished to do something about it! You do have the right to expect a medium amount of ok behavior. Kids need structure and discipline.

Thank you for saying that. I am not some strict, insane dictator mom, I have tried my best with both my kids. I believe that loving and trusting your child is the best way, but some days I am at my wits end about her rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Forget the ice cream example. Tell us about what happened with the eyeglasses flying off her head at a restaurant. I assume you were sitting at the table too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forget the ice cream example. Tell us about what happened with the eyeglasses flying off her head at a restaurant. I assume you were sitting at the table too?

We were but it was a long, bench like table with 9 of us. We didn't see it happen, but our friend's (the third family) teenagers were directly across from it. They confirmed, after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Op - - spend time with your adult friends

Without the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - - spend time with your adult friends

Without the kids

OP here, that's the direction we're thinking of going ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forget the ice cream example. Tell us about what happened with the eyeglasses flying off her head at a restaurant. I assume you were sitting at the table too?

We were but it was a long, bench like table with 9 of us. We didn't see it happen, but our friend's (the third family) teenagers were directly across from it. They confirmed, after the fact.

Confirmed what? your kids glasses fell or flew off? In the course of doing what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ice cream = spoiled?!? When did this happen?

She did not wolf down 24 oz ice cream = spoiled...try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound unrealistic and uptight about the first three things (ice cream = spoiled??? Lots of unusual food rules in your house?)

The eyeglass issue is another thing all together. Perhaps there is moreto that story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestion for me whose DD is a brat? With major attitude? I've raised her the same as my DS who is a joy to be around and somehow failed completely with her. We went to friend's for Thanksgiving who have a bit younger DD. When they were both younger they got along great, now my DD talks to air, avoids eye contact and is a serious brat to be around even at home. I read "yes, your teen is crazy" and don't let it bother me at home and I correct her all the time, but without losing my temper. Then she gets mad that she can't get me angry! I correct her even at friend's house, and she gets a bit better. She is not a brat with her friends but really bratty in some situations and even once to her pediatrician. Any advice?

Don't name-call your child - or any child - a brat. It's a horrible term.

Oh please. It's this attitude that created a generation of coddled kids. If the kid is acting like a brat, for god's sake tell her to stop acting like a brat and improve her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound unrealistic and uptight about the first three things (ice cream = spoiled??? Lots of unusual food rules in your house?)

The eyeglass issue is another thing all together. Perhaps there is moreto that story?[/quot

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any suggestion for me whose DD is a brat? With major attitude? I've raised her the same as my DS who is a joy to be around and somehow failed completely with her. We went to friend's for Thanksgiving who have a bit younger DD. When they were both younger they got along great, now my DD talks to air, avoids eye contact and is a serious brat to be around even at home. I read "yes, your teen is crazy" and don't let it bother me at home and I correct her all the time, but without losing my temper. Then she gets mad that she can't get me angry! I correct her even at friend's house, and she gets a bit better. She is not a brat with her friends but really bratty in some situations and even once to her pediatrician. Any advice?

Don't name-call your child - or any child - a brat. It's a horrible term.

Oh please. It's this attitude that created a generation of coddled kids. If the kid is acting like a brat, for god's sake tell her to stop acting like a brat and improve her behavior.

Bratty behavior vs being labeled a brat.

Learn the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound unrealistic and uptight about the first three things (ice cream = spoiled??? Lots of unusual food rules in your house?)

The eyeglass issue is another thing all together. Perhaps there is moreto that story?

NP. Unusual food rules?
I'm making an assumption here, but I got the impression that eating in a non-eating part of the house referred to a formal living room or a bedroom/game room to limit bugs.
You don't think it's strange to find someone else's child eating anything in your formal living room or another part of the house that is recognized for not eating food - like someone's bedroom.

I find it interesting that there's such vitriol over this issue on this post, when you can search for other posts on DCUM with people up in arms about people eating in bedrooms and causing bug/vermin infestations from not removing the wrappers or empty containers, etc.