MILs and their different race DILs

[Anonymous]

I know of a family that might be the worst bigots I've ever encountered. And it is not completely a race thing. So they couldn't have kids(at first) and they adopted a boy, then they had a biological son right after. So, biological son, white/blond,blue eyed... etc gets a girl pregnant,white girl. They call her trash, trying to trap their son(at the time bum with no job). Don't want anything to do with the baby. Adopted son marries a white women, but short and ugly, they have a daughter, white right. They don't care anything about her at all. Not their grandkid by blood. In the meantime biological son marries Asian woman, as pretty as can be, they have kids. His parents won't even look at their grandkids since they are not really theirs because of the mom and looks. Biological son then helps with DD from the first relationship and gets full custody of her. By that point, grandparents were paying to discredit the mom and take the child away from her, remember from the slut who got pregnant on purpose? Now, that is the only grandkid they acknowledge. This is a 100% true story, that I have seen and had dinners with the family. Asian ILS adore both SIL and grandkids. These were once friends of family of my DH. I can't say I am sad we live so far away now and never have to go to three different dinners to see different parts of their messed up family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm South Asian descent and my white - from a very insular Mountain West culture - was the best MIL anyone could have had. I still miss her and get teary years after she's gone. She was equally awesome to my other SILs (both of whom were white, one from her culture, one not). She herself had a monster MIL and never forgot what that felt like.

My MIL too was from the Rockies, Colorado, as white as can be, and while I am also white, but from a poor European country, nobody accepted me at all for a long time, nobody but her. She was the most awesome MIL anyone can ever hope for. She unfortunately passed away soon after I married her son. I miss her so much. Nicest person to me and to anybody she ever met.

[Anonymous]

Im Indian (from India) and MIL is white (English). We get along really well. She is very interested in my cultural background. Once in a while we do clash about things (regarding kids) but my approach is to let her have her way when she stays with us and then revert to what we want to do.

Our clashes are not just due to culture but also in large part due to generational differences, and personality.

She's lovely!

[Anonymous]

Don't Middle Eastern people consider themselves white? I don't get the white-wash term either. You might find that longer you live here, more local customs you yourself will adopt. Nobody made me celebrate Thanksgiving, yet it somehow became my favorite holiday and I really look forward to it. Hence, I, foreign born DIL, am the host for my US ILS Thanksgiving dinner.

[Anonymous]

I'm a southern Christian AA woman from the South. My MIL is a European agnostic white woman who lives in the NE. I actually like both my ILs; they're great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't Middle Eastern people consider themselves white? I don't get the white-wash term either. You might find that longer you live here, more local customs you yourself will adopt. Nobody made me celebrate Thanksgiving, yet it somehow became my favorite holiday and I really look forward to it. Hence, I, foreign born DIL, am the host for my US ILS Thanksgiving dinner.

Most are white, but not all.

Alternatively, OP may have been coopted by BLM paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a southern Christian AA woman from the South. My MIL is a European agnostic white woman who lives in the NE. I actually like both my ILs; they're great.

You mean Netherlands? Generally very easy going people, I find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did your son marry a woman from a different race/culture?

How did you react? Do you respect her traditions, culture and heritage? Or are you trying to white-wash her?

I am a middle eastern woman engaged to a catholic guy and my prospective MIL is so uncomfortable at the idea. I am curious how other MILs act.

I'm a black woman with a Jewish MIL who has been the worst and most racist bitch imaginable. I have nothing to do with her except for others' birthdays and major holidays when I am merely polite. She will get it back. Neither she nor FIL have any retirement savings and their other kids apart from DH don't have a pot to piss in. I outearn DH by a factor of 5 to 1 and not a penny of my money will ever go to helping my in laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Holy crap that's bad!

My relationship with my Asian MIL (i'm white) is actually pretty good. Partially because she's generally a nice person, partially because DH got married late by their culture's standards (and resisted all attempts to set him up with eligible women from the homeland) so she's just grateful he's married off to anyone. And perhaps most of all because she doesn't speak English and most communication has to get filtered through DH.

lol I bet this has a lot to do with why you both think the other one is so nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a southern Christian AA woman from the South. My MIL is a European agnostic white woman who lives in the NE. I actually like both my ILs; they're great.

You mean Netherlands? Generally very easy going people, I find.

PP here. No, another European country. By NE I meant a northeastern US state.

[Anonymous]

I'm white American. My DIL is originally from a Caribbean island country. I respect her culture and love her dearly.

Meanwhile, I have an immigrant Asian MIL who started out pretending to be nice, but over the years she has been hateful and destructive towards me (and her son), and she hates that I'm not of her race or culture. We just try and stay out of her way these days.

You'd better believe I treat my DIL well! I know what it's like to have a nightmare MIL.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't get a vote. End of story

[Anonymous]

My MIL is Baptist and white. I am Catholic and white. She was horrified that her son was marrying a Catholic and that there would be a Catholic priest performing the ceremony. Members of her family refused to come to the baptism of our child.

[Anonymous]

My MIL and FIL insist on taking my kid to church on Christmas. We are raising the kids agnostic. The kids are both under three so it's not like they sit still. It's annoying and my DH has no spine. This year, we're not going for Christmas. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws are alright. I'm Asian, they're midwestern white. They'd never had much interaction with non-white people before so sometimes say awkward things but I don't think it's ever mean-spirited. Just oblivious. Well, I guess it could be a tad mean-spirited on my MIL's part. But that's just because she's a pain in the ass generally to everyone - she's equal opportunity that way so I don't take offense on a cultural level.