Second grader feels badly about height

[Anonymous]

P.S. You said your son was fine at soccer. Not good or bad. Did he like it? Did he want to get good? Or great? If so, why not encourage him to stick with it, put the time into it and PRACTICE so he could get there? Good athletes WORK. They don't just rely on natural talent.

He definitely liked soccer, but didn't love it. Unfortunately we only have the time and resources for him to do one team sport, and he picked swim. The reality is that DS is just not all that athletic. He's not a total clutz, but sports are not his great strength. So we plan to do one each season with him, of his choosing, to keep him fit, but not push it beyond that.
I don't think being short necessarily means you are bad at sports. DH is only 5'8" but is quite athletic, because he really has a killer instinct. That just isn't DS's personality though. He likes to swim, he likes his tae kwon do class, but if I gave him a choice, he'd prefer to play board games or ride his bike.

[Anonymous]

Not something I would necessarily mention to your son because you don't want him to see being shorter as a negative - But my middle son was in 5th percentile all the way through 10th grade. He shot us the summer between 10th and 11th grade. He is 24 now. 6'2. My other kids grew at a more steady rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not something I would necessarily mention to your son because you don't want him to see being shorter as a negative - But my middle son was in 5th percentile all the way through 10th grade. He shot us the summer between 10th and 11th grade. He is 24 now. 6'2. My other kids grew at a more steady rate.

Ugh. So many typos. He shot up. Thankfully, he never shot us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is almost 12 and is below the line for height. He is crazy short. He gets upset too and we sympathize - there isn't anything to do and it's nice for him to know we are on his side - it is hard. Especially for boys.

But, we do teach him some things to say that make him feel better - I'd like the adult menu for example, is one that heads off the inevitable kids menu with crayons. He also asks for his drink in a real glass to avoid kids cup with plastic straw. When he meets new people, he tries to figure out a way to say his age or grade so that others know - it's really harder for strangers - his friends know how old he is but he hates when a stranger assumes he is many years younger.

I have A son going into high school who still gets offered the kids menu from time to time (although he finally hit a growth spurt to put him close to my height so I am hoping it will stop soon.)

What we do when we go to a restaurant is I quietly whisper to the server that he is in (8th) grade so please make sure they don't give him kids menus/drinks.

That helps.

When I forget to share this, 90% of the time he gets the kid stuff.

What also helps is making sure his clothes and hair cut look "older" or is similar to what teens are wearing.

That especially helped in middle school and late elementary.

For my other short kid we focus a lot on behavior. He is immature so everyone thinks he is younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

P.S. You said your son was fine at soccer. Not good or bad. Did he like it? Did he want to get good? Or great? If so, why not encourage him to stick with it, put the time into it and PRACTICE so he could get there? Good athletes WORK. They don't just rely on natural talent.

He definitely liked soccer, but didn't love it. Unfortunately we only have the time and resources for him to do one team sport, and he picked swim. The reality is that DS is just not all that athletic. He's not a total clutz, but sports are not his great strength. So we plan to do one each season with him, of his choosing, to keep him fit, but not push it beyond that.
I don't think being short necessarily means you are bad at sports. DH is only 5'8" but is quite athletic, because he really has a killer instinct. That just isn't DS's personality though. He likes to swim, he likes his tae kwon do class, but if I gave him a choice, he'd prefer to play board games or ride his bike.

In elementary school baseball is a great sport for less brawny kids.

You just need hand eye coordination and do not need long legs or might.

[Anonymous]

Try to focus on his strengths. I have a smaller 2nd grade boy - 30th percentile height 20th percentile weight. All his friends are bigger than him and he doesn't seem to mind. He isn't the best at any sports but he has pretty good hand eye coordination. He likes tennis and going to the driving range. He loves pokemon, minecraft and chess too.

[Anonymous]

Talk about his strengths. That's great that he's into chess and Taekwondo. My son was feeling really bad about starting school the other day. He knows some of his friends are in a higher level math and this was stressing him out. We talked about all of the things he is great at and how everyone has different strengths.

FYI, we exposed my son to a lot of sports when he was younger and he never liked anything with a team or even swimming. He also does twd and loves it. It was great for self confidence especially as he advanced to the higher belts.

[Anonymous]

Your DH has to step up and talk about being short with him. I have a friend who has a short son. It gets worse as they get older, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not something I would necessarily mention to your son because you don't want him to see being shorter as a negative - But my middle son was in 5th percentile all the way through 10th grade. He shot us the summer between 10th and 11th grade. He is 24 now. 6'2. My other kids grew at a more steady rate.

If OP's husband is short, he is likely to be short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not something I would necessarily mention to your son because you don't want him to see being shorter as a negative - But my middle son was in 5th percentile all the way through 10th grade. He shot us the summer between 10th and 11th grade. He is 24 now. 6'2. My other kids grew at a more steady rate.

Ugh. So many typos. He shot up. Thankfully, he never shot us.

Sorry - but really got annoyed at this - my child will never be above 5'6'' or 5'8''. Lots of people - Tom Cruise (plus or minus as a role model but major banking actor) is 5'6'' George Stephanopolis (sp) is 5'6'' or so. And people fall the range of heights and weights etc that have no inherent statement on their value.

[Anonymous]

I have a second grader who is 5% for height also, and some of the "just teach him to do other stuff and not care" posts are well-intentioned, but don't get it. I think this particular age and height combo is *really* hard for kids - especially boys. When you are 7, your age and grade comes up a lot, and there are actually things you aren't allowed to do or can't do because of your height, that other kids your age can do. Twice over the summer DS wasn't able to participate in something at camp because of his height; our boys right now aren't tall enough to ride the big kid rides at amusement parks; he was in a carseat well into first grade because of his weight; they are often mistaken for K kids, who are - in the mind of a second grader - such little babies.
I'm hopeful that once they move past 48 inches and get just a little older that it won't come up quite so much and that being mistaken for a 3rd grader when you're in 5th won't be as bad as being mistaken for a preschooler when you're heading into second grade.

In the meantime, I'm focusing on sympathy and redirecting. I'm really short too and I remember how much it sucked to not be able to ride Space Mountain when my friends had all ridden it. But I survived, and I'm sure our kids will too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not something I would necessarily mention to your son because you don't want him to see being shorter as a negative - But my middle son was in 5th percentile all the way through 10th grade. He shot us the summer between 10th and 11th grade. He is 24 now. 6'2. My other kids grew at a more steady rate.

Ugh. So many typos. He shot up. Thankfully, he never shot us.

Sorry - but really got annoyed at this - my child will never be above 5'6'' or 5'8''. Lots of people - Tom Cruise (plus or minus as a role model but major banking actor) is 5'6'' George Stephanopolis (sp) is 5'6'' or so. And people fall the range of heights and weights etc that have no inherent statement on their value.

Yeah, our pediatrician specifically mentioned this at his 6 year old checkup. She says she gets 13 or 14 year old boys who end up being devastated when they realize that their growth spurt won't magically make them 6 feet tall when their parents are both really short and the kid has been short forever. Well meaning adults tell kids that they'll have huge growth spurts and will end up being tall as if it's something important to look forward to. But it's not a true statement.

[Anonymous]

If he's still short in a few years, consider HGH. Height can have a big impact on a man's life.

[Anonymous]

In the meantime, I'm focusing on sympathy and redirecting. I'm really short too and I remember how much it sucked to not be able to ride Space Mountain when my friends had all ridden it.

OP here - this made me smile. DS actually has been on Space Mountain and completely hated it! After waiting in line for an hour, DH and I would not let him back out when he decided at the last minute he didn't want to do it. That is probably the one case where he would have been thrilled to have been too short to do something!

[Anonymous]

If he's still short in a few years, consider HGH. Height can have a big impact on a man's life.

HGH is not going to make someone who would naturally be short become tall. It got Lionel Messi to all of 5'7". It would not be a prudent choice for a boy in the short range of normal.