So I'm I being too picky...I don't want to date a man with a child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if it is a really good guy and his ex is remarried. They have a good parenting relationship and minimal drama. What is so bad about that?

Nothing is bad about it. But it's not what OP wants. Stop pushing your values on to someone else and taking someone else's preferences as a personal attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you, OP?

If you are 30 or under, you are fine. 35+ maybe ok. Over 40 is going to be tough.

Tough isn't always a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Good plan. It's hard to deal with it even if everyone is cool and on board with it. If you know now that you're not, it would never be easy. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only exception will be a widow if it's one child only. I'm having an argument with my cousin. I love kids I want my own but I just don't want to deal with ex-wife drama. Granted not all ex wIves are malicious but I can see chaos in the type of relationship. I like a lot of attention and enjoy spending time with my partner and it's unfair for a man to give me the attention I want and take away time from his kid (s). Ive always thought it's best for me to marry a childless man. My cousin says I'm too picky and i told her I know myself and what works for me and what doesn't. I believe in compromises I just can't compromise on that issue. I wonder what divorced or separated men with children who are dating think about this.

You sound smart.

Your cousin sounds like the type who thinks you should take up with any man who looks at you and then is confused when things go badly.

[Anonymous]

You say it's because you want a lot of attention but then say you want your own kids. You realize your own kids will take attention away from you, right?

[Anonymous]

OP: Would you date a man with an orangutan?

Any which way you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two step children. His ex wife was wonderful to me while we were dating. We were actually friends. I would pick the kids up from school and take them places and she loved that we had a great relationship.

The minute we got engaged that all changed. She became insufferable. Kept taking us to court to get custody changes because she didn't want another woman raising her children. Scrutinized every move I made in regards to her children.

They are adults now and she is still pissy and bitter over anything they do regarding me. Because of this she has actually pushed them away.

It made me sad because pre-engagement I couldn't believe how lucky I got and thought she and my husband would be able to continue to coparent peacefully.

That's because when you were just the girlfriend you weren't competition, you were childcare. Of course she'd like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you, OP?

If you are 30 or under, you are fine. 35+ maybe ok. Over 40 is going to be tough.

She ain't OK no matter what her age because if she was generating any real interest from guys without kids she wouldn't be here asking this question. OP why even ask if you're getting interest from guys without kids? Just go out with those kids. It's only an issue if you don't have much of a choice in the matter.

[Anonymous]

You are right OP. Having some bitter harpie control your life is a joke. Wish I'd never done it.

[Anonymous]

If a guy came here and said he didn't want to date a single mom, he'd be burned at the stake.

Carry on.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a guy came here and said he didn't want to date a single mom, he'd be burned at the stake.

Carry on.....

So not true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a guy came here and said he didn't want to date a single mom, he'd be burned at the stake.

Carry on.....

So not true!

NP but that is totally true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only exception will be a widow if it's one child only. I'm having an argument with my cousin. I love kids I want my own but I just don't want to deal with ex-wife drama. Granted not all ex wIves are malicious but I can see chaos in the type of relationship. I like a lot of attention and enjoy spending time with my partner and it's unfair for a man to give me the attention I want and take away time from his kid (s). Ive always thought it's best for me to marry a childless man. My cousin says I'm too picky and i told her I know myself and what works for me and what doesn't. I believe in compromises I just can't compromise on that issue. I wonder what divorced or separated men with children who are dating think about this.

I was exactly the same way when I was single OP. This is a much bigger issue than most people are willing to admit. Hold your ground! As you say, you know yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if it is a really good guy and his ex is remarried. They have a good parenting relationship and minimal drama. What is so bad about that?

Ha! "Minimal drama," at least that you are aware of at this time.

[Anonymous]

For someone who matried a man with kids - you are absolutely right! I live with regret daily