Disciplining other kids at the park

[Anonymous]

The learn-to-work things-out line has been appearing lately at play grounds in my area too. It makes sense sometimes, most definitely. But it does not apply when there is a wrongdoer who is harming another kid. In those circumstances, it's a line used by lazy parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not in the wrong.

But I would stop at grabbing his hand and lecturing the other kid. What is lost in your narrative is the tone you used, body language etc. You should have simply moved your kid and stayed with her and pointedly looked around for the other parent.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

I would have done the same thing. To do otherwise is to teach your child that adults and other responsible people will stand by while she is abused. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Realize that if you put your hands on another kid, you are subjecting yourself to lawsuits and arrest.

[Anonymous]

Both of you need to get off your phones and supervise your kids. After the first incident, I would have been close by to prevent any more attacks.

[Anonymous]

Well, if you strongly prefer that you be the one laying hands on your own child, you should watch them instead of being on the phone. If not, and your child is running around pulling other people's hair, then you are responsible for what happens to them. That kid is lucky the little girl didn't retaliate in kind. I'm sure the mom wouldn't say "let them work it out" if her kid was getting the s*** kicked out of him.

[Anonymous]

I would have done the same thing. And that's why her kid is a bully and will have larger problems as he gets older b/c she does nothing to teach him right from wrong.

You are welcome at any playground I'm at any day of the week I love community based parenting.

[Anonymous]

I would love to actually witness one of these interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Removing the child's hands - fine. Giving him a lecture - you're opening yourself up to be criticized in kind. Like it or not, we don't discipline other people's children in this culture, although of course you need to do what you need to do to help your own child in the moment.

Maybe in your culture, whatever that is. But in every social circle I've belonged to (my children are ages 4, 8, and 12), we have always disciplined each other's children in situations such as the OP described. No spanking, of course, but certainly a firm reprimand and, if necessary, removal of hands (or of the child) from the situation.

You can choose to let this sort of behavior go on, or you can choose to not to do anything. Think about the example you are setting your children.

Very different to discipline a stranger's child in the park, vs your friend's child (when you know your friend is ok with it). Not saying that OP did something totally crazy; just that she crossed a boundary, and had her boundaries crossed in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Realize that if you put your hands on another kid, you are subjecting yourself to lawsuits and arrest.

Nope. Not when defending another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, if you strongly prefer that you be the one laying hands on your own child, you should watch them instead of being on the phone. If not, and your child is running around pulling other people's hair, then you are responsible for what happens to them. That kid is lucky the little girl didn't retaliate in kind. I'm sure the mom wouldn't say "let them work it out" if her kid was getting the s*** kicked out of him.

+1

[Anonymous]

Good for you. Did the mom say anything about the hair pulling?

[Anonymous]

I agree that the other mom was out of line.

I was at an amusement park last week and a mom and her daughter did something unsafe (which violated a clearly posted rule) that hurt my daughter and me. I asked her to be careful, and she said that there was no way to avoid doing what she did. I explained to her how to use the equipment. (We're season ticket holders so I've been on this particular thing literally a hundred times.) She kept arguing. When we got off, I told the operator about the rule violation and asked the operator to please explain to the woman how to use the equipment because she had told me she did not know how to use the equipment. The woman then chased after me across the park to yell at me for telling on her to the ride operator, telling me I needed to calm down and enjoy the park, and telling me I was a bad role model to my children for telling her how to use the equipment. I told her to calm down and that I hoped my children learned the lesson that if you don't know how to use something, you should learn how to use it. Her daughter looked totally embarrassed and kept staring at the ground during this whole conversation.

Some people are just crazy and unable to accept any responsibility for their actions. It's a whole personality type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realize that if you put your hands on another kid, you are subjecting yourself to lawsuits and arrest.

Nope. Not when defending another.

+1 OP said she only grabbed his hand to get the little boy to physically let go of her daughter's hair. Contact in that case was unavoidable. OP did the right thing. I would have done the same - I'm not going to stand there and watch some little a-hole hurt my kid.

I'm sorry this mom was nutty. She obviously wasn't paying attention - or worse - even if she did see what happened some people still might react crazily. You did what you had to do OP. Don't feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the other mom was out of line.

I was at an amusement park last week and a mom and her daughter did something unsafe (which violated a clearly posted rule) that hurt my daughter and me. I asked her to be careful, and she said that there was no way to avoid doing what she did. I explained to her how to use the equipment. (We're season ticket holders so I've been on this particular thing literally a hundred times.) She kept arguing. When we got off, I told the operator about the rule violation and asked the operator to please explain to the woman how to use the equipment because she had told me she did not know how to use the equipment. The woman then chased after me across the park to yell at me for telling on her to the ride operator, telling me I needed to calm down and enjoy the park, and telling me I was a bad role model to my children for telling her how to use the equipment. I told her to calm down and that I hoped my children learned the lesson that if you don't know how to use something, you should learn how to use it. Her daughter looked totally embarrassed and kept staring at the ground during this whole conversation.

Some people are just crazy and unable to accept any responsibility for their actions. It's a whole personality type.

Again, you chose to lecture a STRANGER about their behavior in a public setting, then it's on you if that stranger gets pissed and yells at you. You can't both get to enjoy the frission of correcting others in public, and avoid having them get mad at you in public. If you don't want to get yelled at, just take care of yourself and don't try to teach other people lessons when that's not your place. You tattled; you got called out on it.