How long are parents expected to arrange playdates?

[Anonymous]

playing with kids on your block is hardly a playdate to me. The kids in our neighborhood including my 5 year old have been running to each other's homes since 4 or 5. We welcome them provided it isn't dinner or bed etc but other than that we have an open house policy. Some parents are justs jerks.

[Anonymous]

It's strange how everyone's slamming this guy with zero information about him. What is the big deal? He wants a call. To me that's not being a jerk or an a--hole. It's just what he prefers.

[Anonymous]

I think it is very weird. I think it is great that kids show up without parents scheduling everything. If it isn't convenient, send them away. Some parents are crazy uptight.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue here is less about your child's age and more about how families and individuals vary in being receptive to unannounced guests. We live in a very friendly n-hood and my kids' friends have been dropping by to play since they were about your son's age. Usually I don't mind, but on occasion it can be a little awkward. For example, last night a neighbor came by with her 2 young kids while my husband and I were out and our teen-ager was babysitting for our younger daughter. She and the neighbor's kids started playing soccer. My son was under intructions to have his sister shower and practice the piano, but he didn't know how to explain this to our neighbor, who is also one of his babysitting clients. It wasn't a big deal, but it did mean that my daughter didn't go to bed on time. I would never dream of telling our neighbor not to come by unannounced as a result of this, but it was a reminder to me of why I ask my kids to call first before going over to someone's house. That way it's easier for the other kid to check with his/her parents and find out if this is a good time to have a friend over.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, I'm not sure what the answer is here. My oldest is headed to a charter for middle school and there are a group of moms desperately trying to set up "playdates" for the incoming students.

I think it's a bit much for middle school. We live in DC, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

I think it's great that moms are trying to get the girls going to a new charter school together. What is the problem with that if they don't know each other?
You know, isn't it better that this guy make this request than not to say anything and possibly become irritated with your son one day?
This reminds me of the children at weddings divide. There's no middle ground!

[Anonymous]

Seriously, planning playdates for middle school aged children is ok? What about High School? Seriously, I'm curious, when is it that you stop managing your child's social life? Is this a national trend, or just something that goes on in the DC metro area?

[Anonymous]

I think the dad was rude in his delivery but honestly, I would not want kids ringing on my doorbell to play unless I was prepared for it, I would want the parent to call bc I may have something going on or be in the shower, or not want kids in the house other than mine. I think it is different if they are playing outside (and in a safe backyard) which I dont have so I dont want to be responsible for someone elses kids if I have other stuff to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, planning playdates for middle school aged children is ok? What about High School? Seriously, I'm curious, when is it that you stop managing your child's social life? Is this a national trend, or just something that goes on in the DC metro area?

So should colleges stop have accepted students weekends, too? There seems to be a difference here between events for people to meet for the first time (perhaps play date isn't the best word for the middle-school get-together) and social events for people who already know each other.

[Anonymous]

16:00 here -- Planning a get-together for kids who are entering a new school, even at middle school, is very different from planning a "playdate" for kids that age. Even if you wanted to do that, it would be like herding cats. Maybe what's creeping you out (I'm addressing the mom whose daughter is going to a new charter this fall) is the one-on-one thing? I understand that mght feel a little oppresive -- both to you and to your daughter. Why not suggest -- or better yet, offer to host -- a get-together for a larger group? It can be very simple -- a potluck or ice cream social, for example. Even if your daughter is very confident about starting at her new school (as my DS was when he entered a new middle school at 7th grade), it's nice to know a few of the kids when you walk into the cafeteria on the first day.

[Anonymous]

Things are different from back in the day! I would love to live somewhere where kids are hangong out everywhere with an open door policy. But, this guy is well within his rights to ask for a phone call first. Your son may have gone over at a real bad time and he was upset at the intrusion. Or, both parents work and just got home so they were trying to spend time with their child. My mom was SAHM and although she wouldn't appreciate an adult popping by and interuppting her day, she loved having kids come over and entertain us while she did her stuff in the house. The best you could do is respect his wishes. It's not a big deal and imagine if it was him posting on this thread - I bet most people would have said that it is ok for him to let the other parent know to call first.

[Anonymous]

If a neighbor's kid comes to your door to play with your kid and it's not a convenient time, just say so. What's with all the drama of having to call first, or not wanting the responsibility of watching another kid, etc?

[Anonymous]

I have to say I don't like drop bys at all. It's hard to say no the child at the door, but sometimes there just are things going on in the family or the schedule etc. that it is just not appreciated. Sorry, a quick call before hand and we likely can be more flexible. A kid at the door I don't like.

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, my little friends and I would call each other and check with a parent before walking over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a neighbor's kid comes to your door to play with your kid and it's not a convenient time, just say so. What's with all the drama of having to call first, or not wanting the responsibility of watching another kid, etc?

drama for watching someone elses kid???? what if you were busy? what if you just cleaned up and you dont want another mess? what if your kids didnt do their homework yet? i think a call is courteous and I am sure no parent would be offended by it.