Neighbor kids conned my kid out of piggy bank $- WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Totally normal behavior. Kids don't know the meaning of a dollar. It has nothing to do with her bad situation in life.

[Anonymous]

This kid needs to be taught she can't do that. Talk to Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A neighborhood kid (age 9) was over at our house for a play date playing with my oldest. They were playing with some walkie talkies and my youngest (age 6) apparently wanted to play too. The neighbor kid told my younger guy that he could have the walkie talkie if he paid her money so apparently he cleaned out his piggy bank and gave it to her. I found out about it a day later when I was helping him clean up his room and noticed is overturned empty piggy bank. We aren't talking a lot of money here (maybe $6) but still, I think it was unfair and inappropriate to do that.

I have already had a talk with my oldest to tell her that was wrong and she needs to stand up for her little brother and not let something like this happen or to come and tell me if she is nervous about confronting a friend. But, I am wondering if I should say something to this kid's guardian.

As some background - the kid lives with her grandparents because her dad is an abusive alcoholic and the mom has been neglectful. This kid has been through the ringer. Her Grandma is a very nice woman who I like a lot and who has shared some of her Granddaughter's history. She has lived in 9 different places in her 9 years. When she was in Kindergarten she had to make all her own meals because she was so neglected, social services was called, etc. She can be a very sweet kid and she can be very sweet to my youngest, so I was pretty suprised when I heard this happened.

I am strongly considering talking the Grandma and though in person might be better than by phone or text. Thoughts??

Say nothing to Grandma. I think this happens to all kids in all walks of life - regardless of SES or background. Most people had a little "entrepreneur" friend.

It is not like she actually told him to go and get money out of his piggy bank. Your issue is with your kid(s). Tell them not to buy anything from their friends.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what the little girl's background has to do with the story. Kids do this kind of thing all of the time, even kids who grow up in stable, wealthy homes.

Personally, I'm shocked no one suggested what seems to me the obvious course of action: tell your kid to confront the girl who took his money. It doesn't have to be aggressive, but both of your kids should say something to the other girl. Your oldest, who is the girl's friend, should say, "Larla, it wasn't okay/fair that you took my brother's money."

See where it goes from there. It is a teaching opportunity -- an opportunity to teach kids that there is an appropriate way to address things.

I'm no expert, and maybe I'm completely wrong here. But I get the impression from adults I know that they were taught one of two extremes. Either they were taught to ignore things and let them go and never address issues with people or they were taught to be overly aggressive.

I look around and see a lot of adults who don't really have a strong skill set in effectively addressing issues directly with people in a way that is civil and polite but honest.

[Anonymous]

17:14 here. I'm assuming that the little girl didn't sell OP's kid the walkie talkie. She made him pay them so that he could play with his sister and her friend.

I would also add that OP should make sure that her daughter wasn't part of this. It's possible that -- shocker -- her daughter was in on it.

[Anonymous]

OP here- sorry I wasn't more explicit about the walkie talkie. It is our family's toy (belongs to my kids). She made him pay for the privilege of playing with his toy that she was using.

[Anonymous]

Oh and 17:14/17:18- I already did talk to my daughter about it. She didn't ask or receive any money (verified by younger kid) but she did know it happened. That's why I have already talked to her about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- sorry I wasn't more explicit about the walkie talkie. It is our family's toy (belongs to my kids). She made him pay for the privilege of playing with his toy that she was using.

Well, that is suckier. Still, I think he's learned his lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you say to the grandma? "Your grand-daughter conned my kid $6 out of piggy bank!"? Really, OP??

I would want to know this if it was my child, even if it was a dollar. She conned a little kid. Who cares if she has been put thru the ringer. Her grand mom is helping and she needs to know what she did was wrong. Have her bring back the money. Skirting issues will only increase behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

This calls for a sit down with the Grandma, preferably with the little kid in earshot. It's not about the $6.
This little kid went through a hard time but it appears there are lessons she needs to learn in life that her parents did not teach her. The Grandma needs to know and the money must be returned. That is not a nice thing to do. How is she going to make and keep friends if she goes through life thinking that conning and stealing from friends and neighbors will be overlooked? What will actually happen is no one will invite her back to their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your kids but after that just let it go. I am sure the grandma has a lot on her plate...

+1

+2 it's a $6 lesson

[Anonymous]

Also it is just money. Your child did not trade in a precious you as I did as a kid. It sucked but taught me not to be so gullible.

[Anonymous]

precious toy

[Anonymous]

No one was conned out of anything. The girl said if you give me money you can play. He gave her the money. Conning him would be along the lines of, "I'll just count your money and then give it back -- oh, where did it go?"

She may turn out to be a very successful adult, since she seems to understand how things work.

[Anonymous]

True story, I was the little "entrepreneur" when I was a kid. My friend left some Barbie clothes at my house one time, and I really loved them, but I didn't want to steal them. So the next time she came over, I gave them back to her and told her I wanted to trade. Did I have anything I wanted? And I was SO surprised that she did! But I don't remember what it was that she wanted.

Now that I'm seeing this thread, I hope I didn't cheat her!!