Late 40s/Early 50s Divorced Ladies
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Anonymous
| I am divorced and in my 40s and reading this thread I see I need to sit with myself a bit because I havenone of this confidence. My XH's cheating did a number on me. |
Anonymous
He cheated b/c of him, not you. You are awesome!! |
Anonymous
| Blow off the commitment-phobe BF and call those digits, OP! |
Anonymous
Therapy helps. Your 20s and 30s are about making a life for husband and children. Your 40s and 50s are about making a life for you. If you are always in self-sacrifice mode, your self-confidence will crumble. Whether you know it or not, when you always prioritize other's needs over your own, you send yourself the message that you aren't worth it. Young wives and moms need to learn to treat themselves as they would treat a best friend. If your best friend never had time to spend with you and ignored when you were in emotional crisis, you wouldn't think they really valued you. When you pursue what you want, your confidence will grow. Therapy can help you heal and figure out what you want. After years of emotional abuse and financial control by my ex, I realized that I wanted a peaceful house. Peace don't always mean quiet though I like that, too #introvert  . By peaceful, I meant that we don't fight or at the very least we "fight fair". No put downs. No emotionally manipulative language. No rehashing of old quarrels unrelated to the issue at hand. We can't bring up who forgot to make sure there was milk if the issue is leaving a dirty dish on the coffee table to attract bugs. I also wanted to control my own finances. My therapist recommended some self-help books. They were both enlightening and full of practical ideas. I'll see if I can find the list to post here. Above all else, don't do what I did. I was divorced by 35. I focused on my young children and ignored my own self-care needs. Seven years later, I was still full of pain. I was in a long-term relationship with a great man, but I was blocked from moving ahead to living together and marriage. I had to do a lot of self-care and self-work to move those emotional obstacles to true romantic happiness. We are now engaged, but I mourn the years together that we lost because I was a mess.
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Anonymous
| Let's keep the positive energy flowing. This is probably the most happy and encouraging thread I have ever read on DCUM. |
Anonymous
You can find it. Dump is ass and realize it is his loss not yours. F him and the boat he road in on. Get some exercise if you aren't all ready and buy some new clothes. Does wonders for your ego. |
Anonymous
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I'm about to turn 47 and feel better emotionally than I ever did in my 20s, 30s, or even very early 40s. (Physically, I still feel good but have noticed things tire me out more than they used to.). But I love getting older. No more crap of worrying about what others think.
I just wish DH would catch up to me. He's a good man, but he still acts like a big baby when we fight and I'm so over it. So now (part of being in my prime, I think) , I call him on it, where I used to take his bait & we'd go into a downward spiral. But things would be much easier if he'd grow up too.
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Anonymous
Yeah, I'm sure some desirable 30 something guy would be lowered to slipping you his number while you were out with your equal age boyfriend. 
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Anonymous
Didn't take long for the 29 year old male virgins to find this thread. Have a snickers. You'll feel better. |
Anonymous
Give me a break. The scenario is beyond absurd. |
Anonymous
You might be shocked how often that happens. I have had waiters hit on me, guy at the next table wanted my name and number at a restaurant while sitting with male friend. He didn't know if it was friend or boyfriend but got into our conversation and then made play right in front of him. There are some guys in their 30's don't want to fit into the mold of house, wife, 2.5 children and a goldfish. |
Anonymous
It's completely plausible. But things must be going great in your life to comment on this thread hoping to hurt a stranger's feelings and bring people down. That's definitely something winners do. |
Anonymous
| I think it is nice that there is a lot of wishful thinking here. But as a man I can tell you that while a much younger man of course would want to have sex with you if you keep yourself fit, he generally won't be totally into you. No 38 yo guy will be proud to escort around a 45 yo divorced mother on a regular basis. I had this at 33 with a never married 40 yo. I just couldn't go through with it. I'll allow there are outliers, but generally I think what I say is the truth. |
Anonymous
I agree with you that people generally think what they say is the truth. |
Anonymous
Yeah, cause we NEVER see examples in Hollywood of older women/younger men. |