My brother is obese and I want to help

[Anonymous]

I agree with the majority of posters that you will get nowhere just talking to him.

Is there a physical activity that you could both enjoy doing? Hiking? Biking? Maybe invite him to do these things with you but hide the fact that it's for him to exercise.

[Anonymous]

The only way this could possibly work is if you're also significantly overweight and you frame it as him helping you get in shape.

Otherwise butt out. He knows he's fat. Don't drop hints. Don't pester him to take spinning with you. Just be kind.

[Anonymous]

Offer to go on a diet with him. If he says no, keep your mouth shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:liberals always want to help when it's none of their business.

Get a hobby.

Apparently your hobby is looking for ways to drag your disdain for liberals into as many threads that are in no way related to politics as possible.

[Anonymous]

This thread reminds me of Lionel Shriver's novel Big Brother, which is about a sister whose brother is obese. I recommend it, OP: sometimes reading about a situation that has been intelligently probed and presented from different angles is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Has your brother asked for help? If not, the only thing you can do to try to help is to ask him to join you in some kind of fitness program, like a buddy system, and even that will only work if you are overweight or otherwise would have a legitimate need to do it for yourself.

[Anonymous]

You can only cause harm by trying to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Offer to go on a diet with him. If he says no, keep your mouth shut.

I disagree with this. If he wants to do this, he'll raise it. Offering to go on a diet with someone is just not helpful. First of all, diets don't work. If he's going to have a "success story" it's going to take a commitment to major changes that a "diet" doesn't entail. Second, even if well-meant, the message will backfire. Someone struggling with this is likely to retain the message that you don't like him how he is. Yes, you don't like his weight issue, but he'll internalize a broader negative message.

[Anonymous]

hes 264. not 364. i think OP is overeacting.

[Anonymous]

I started at 200 lbs in February and so far have lost 40 lbs on the Ideal Protein diet. My husband started three weeks later and has lost 45 lbs. It's a restricted calorie diet (about 800/day) but it's been the only thing that's worked for me. I can see my collar bone for the first time in 10 years. My cardiologist recommended it and said it changed his life. He's kept weight off for years. I don't know if it's advisable for someone of your brother's weight, but it's a guided program with weekly weigh-ins and counseling so they can tell him for sure. Google Ideal Protein; they have practitioners everywhere.

[Anonymous]

"My sister is not terribly well read and she's not up on current events and I feel like she would be so much happier and more marketable in this area if she would devote two hours every day to the news. I'm thinking of coming over to her house every day and reading the newspaper to her for two hours but I'm afraid she might be offended. What do you think?"

"My brother's wife doesn't spend enough time doing housework and it's a HEALTH HAZARD. I'm afraid they're shortening their lives by not washing the dishes thoroughly and i really resent the fact that my tax dollars are probably paying for antibiotics and things that are all caused by their poor habits. I'm thinking of taking up a collection at work to send her away to a two week dishwashing camp but I"m afraid she'll take it the wrong way. What do you think?"

"My husband's neighbor's friend drives a car that's a gas guzzler. I feel so bad for him. And it's so bad for the environment. His car impacts all of us! I've taken to dropping subtle hints, and dropping off magazines about the environment. Whenever I"m going for a bike ride I call him up and ask him if he wants to go, but he doesn't seem committed to getting a new car. What else can I do?"

[Anonymous]

Tell him he's fat. He's clearly been waiting for a wake up call from you.

[Anonymous]

Listen to this episode of "This American Life" on the topic of being fat:

Check out this cool episode: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-american-life/id201671138?mt=2&i=371015419

[Anonymous]

I'm a fat sister. 5'8 and 239. I used to be 276, and I lost the weight when everyone in my life STFU and starting minding their own business. Compulsive overeating isn't solved by nagging or fat shaming. All the 'helpful' things like the diabetes magazines, gym passes, your old fat pants and low carb cookbooks did not help. They sent me straight to bask in Robbins. I knew I was fat. I know I'm still fat. But now that everyone has accepted me for who I am, I've started working on myself. If you love your brother, leave him alone. He knows he's fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why bother to post if you don't have a success story to share?

People who successfully lose weight need to be internally motivated.