My brother is obese and I want to help

[Anonymous]

please share your success stories helping younger siblings lose weight. he just turned 40 and no major health issues yet but has struggled with weight for a long long time. he's 5'10 and weighs 264, so BMI is 35+ i think. how can i help?

[Anonymous]

Get off his back. He weighs enough already.

[Anonymous]

Seriously all you may accomplish here is to damage your relationship with your brother. Your fixation on his weight is keeping you from enjoying him as a person. Unless you're partners on a bobsled team his weight is his business. Stop thinking that it's something you can or should have anything to do with and just start enjoying him as a person.

Imagine if someone wrote in "my brother is too short. How can I help him change?" "My brother is too tan, how can I help him change?" Some people are just large. Others have bad habits that contribute to this. In neither case will your interference likely lead to anything except estrangement.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was obese, and is now not, leave him alone.

He knows he has a weight issue. Nothing another person says will make someone change - it has to come 1000% from within.

MYOB. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

you can't. he has to want to do it himself. i say that as a wife to an obese man.

[Anonymous]

why bother to post if you don't have a success story to share?

[Anonymous]

If you want to help him, don't mention it ever. He knows he is fat, and he knows what to do to change it. You can't do anything but love him as he is.

[Anonymous]

How would you like it if your brother pointed out all your flaws and shortcomings about yourself (that you are already aware of)? Do you think telling you negative things about yourself that you already know, would be beneficial to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm a super huge fat person. I'm 5'4" and weigh what your brother does. What would help me is someone buying my food, and cooking it for me. I hate both those things. I am terrible at portion control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you like it if your brother pointed out all your flaws and shortcomings about yourself (that you are already aware of)? Do you think telling you negative things about yourself that you already know, would be beneficial to you?

When I saw the post's title, I thought "My sister has no idea how to mind her own business. How can I help?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a super huge fat person. I'm 5'4" and weigh what your brother does. What would help me is someone buying my food, and cooking it for me. I hate both those things. I am terrible at portion control.

thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why bother to post if you don't have a success story to share?

The success story needs to be his, not yours. Truly

[Anonymous]

liberals always want to help when it's none of their business.

Get a hobby.

[Anonymous]

There is no scientifically proven way for a person to lose weight and actually keep it off. The closest thing is weight loss surgery, which comes with its own risks, and even then, the patients usually only keep off some, not all, of the excess weight.

[Anonymous]

I may have a different relationship with my brother, and in general I agree with minding your own business.

But my brother and I have both noted that if we lived in the same town we would split the cost of a trainer and that it would be fun to get to do athletic sorts of things together like when we were kids. Neither of us can afford a private trainer alone.

If you have money to spare you might ask if he would like a gift of anything in particular. My parents hired a trainer for me when my husband was deployed and it was a great help.