Your experience with sexual abuse...and if you ever told.
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Anonymous
++1000000 I am fuck yourself and was to appalled to use anything but shorthand. Thanks for picking up my slack! |
Anonymous
Same here. Best friend's older brother molested me. Both friend and her older brother had been abused by a neighbor prior to the brother abusing me. The brother was a pre-teen at the time and no one was getting him any help or acknowledging what happened to him so he was an absolute mess. It doesn't excuse what he did but I've come to pity him, he was a young abused kid himself and didn't know how to cope with what was happening to him. |
Anonymous
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Repeated abuse from my stepfather from ages ?? (3 and a bit is the earliest I can remember) to around 10, when I finally told him no. I told a babysitter around the age of 4, and they told me it was a bad thing, but never helped me. I didn't tell my mother because I thought she knew that "daddy" always came to play with me before bed.
Mother left him, met another man, and I was abused by stepbrother from around 12 to 13. We were caught and I was blamed for being a participant. Of course, it didn't matter that he was more than 5 years older and had actually served jail time for sexual assault and rape. By then, I knew how to be a good "victim" and just kept quiet. I won't get into details of either, because it's pretty horrible. Spent my teenage and early adult years being fairly "promiscuous" by a lot of standards. Part of it was trying to find my self worth through love, and the only love I understood was sex. Part of it was not knowing that I COULD say no. Ended up doing a lot of things I didn't want to. Finally ended the cycle a few years ago with therapy. So glad to know I have control of my body and my life and that it doesn't have to be that way. Pregnant now and if I have a girl, I'm scared about how protective I may be of her, but I know that enough horrible things happen under your own roof, and not necessarily out in the scary world. |
Anonymous
NP here. A charitable reading would be "what did the babysitter do when you reported it to your parents" - so maybe the PP meant that? That's the only thing I can think of, because otherwise, totally f-ed up to ask. |
Anonymous
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That's not a charitable reading. It's an insane reading. Read the post and figure out why.
That question outside of a therapeutic of very trusted setting is nothing more than a voyeuristic expression of interest in pedophilia. |
Anonymous
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15. friend was making out with college guy in his dorm, I was along for the ride. His friend started giving me shots, making me drink, then making out with me and we had sex. I was only 15. I truly dont remember whether I said yes or no but I felt horrible later. I was far too young to be in that situation and it scares me to think about my kids having sex at that age, you really dont know what the hell you're doing. He was clearly trying to get me drunk.
17. I had a summer job as an intern for a video producer. He tried to kiss and grope me and wanted to date me. I quit. 18. college. making out with guy, we were both drinking of course. I repeatedly said no but did not scream or push him off. he ignored me and kept going and finally, after about 20 minutes, I just kind of gave in. I did not feel empowered to get up and walk out . I wanted him to like me, just not to have sex, which is probably why I thought I could keep things light. I made it clear I did not want to go further, but he did not listen. This is the kind of thing that I think happens all the time and I didn't recognize it as date rape but I felt horrible and ashamed later. I didn't want to have sex. I spent the next 2 years avoiding any intimate contact. 23. grad school, attempted [date] rape. First date, I wasn't interested, he seemed uninterested, but insisted on walking me home. Then asked to use my bathroom. Once inside he started grabbing me, trying to kiss me, pinning me agains the wall. I screamed, yelled get the fuck off me, threw his keys and wallet out the window, etc. It was scary--he was a big guy and I sensed he was going to be violent. A lot of what happened to me is not my fault, but I didn't have the self esteem or self possession to stop it, my desire to be liked and my anxiety about how unlovable I was did not help. I truly hope I raise both my son and daughter to love themselves more and only do what they want to do for themselves. |
Anonymous
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1. Groomed and then touched inappropriately by stepfather when I was around age 13/14.
2. More inappropriate actions from stepfather as a young adult. 3. An instance of date rape in college 4. Inappropriately grabbed and harassed by male coworkers at my college summer job |
Anonymous
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Assaulted by my stepfather from age 11 (when he moved in) until 15 or 16 (when I started spending the night with friends). He and my mom would also go at it while we were all watching TV, or sharing hotel rooms.
I remember finding dried blood in my underwear one morning when I was 11, and thinking it was my period. My period didn't actually start until I was 13. I never told anyone, except a boyfriend I had in my early 20s, who told me I had to tell my mom and the police. I didn't think my mom would believe me (or care), and I didn't want to blow up my family, so I didn't. I have low self-esteem and did not make the best dating choices, but as an UMC white woman, I had family support and other resources that protected me from my own bad decisions. It breaks my heart to see women who are in similar situations who can't escape because they don't have those resources. I volunteer at women's shelters, teaching financial planning/budgeting (I'm a CPA), to help women get back on their feet. On the outside, I really have my life together: educated, gainfully employed, healthy, I don't drink or do drugs, I volunteer, and I run marathons. On the inside, I am a total train wreck. I am married now, and I have a kid, and I am really weird about sex, or being touched, especially in front of my kid. I also don't allow my kid to be left alone with my stepfather. |
Anonymous
Oh, and I never told about my stepfather the first time, but told about his inappropriate advances the second time. My mom believed I was a participant in the "flirtatiions". That was 18 years ago and she still wishes I would reconcile and come stay at their house (with my children), etc. Although she has finally acknowledged that it wasn't my fault and apologized. |
Anonymous
| Hugs to all of you. Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry you have gone through this. |
Anonymous
| Molested at age 5 by a next door neighbor. (He was a teenager.) Told my parents and they did nothing. |
Anonymous
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Abused by a Catholic priest from ages 8-10. Never told. (Woman here).
Finally got therapy when I was in law school. Also hired a PI-type guy to track him down at that time. He'd committed suicide about five years prior. This shit does not go away. |
Anonymous
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Not nearly as bad as what others have been through, but I was molested in the back of a cab by the cab driver.
It was 15 years ago. I took a cab home, alone, from a club in DC. I waived him down, he picked me up, I told him my address (well, I said "15th and R Street") and off we went. He started talking to me and we were having a normal conversation. Then he said "You like to party?" I said "You mean go out?" and then he put his hand in the back of the cab and touched my knee. I said "What are you doing?" and he said "you like to party? You like to smoke the marijuana?" and moved his hand up my leg and tried to get under my skirt. I grabbed his hand but he held on. I then slapped his hand and told him to let me out. He said "I will take you to 15th and R". He kept reaching in the back of the cab and I was trying to get away, but it seemed wherever I moved, he could reach me, and he kept trying over and over again to aggressively get up my skirt. I screamed at him to let me out, and he refused. I was looking for identification to report him and there was nothing in the cab except the meter. He started "talking dirty" to me, telling me what he was going to do to me and how he imagined I liked things. He came to a stop sign just before my stop and I ran out. I hid on someone's front entryway and tried to find some sort of identifying marks on the outside of the cab, but the only thing was the "For Hire" light on top. I don't even know if he was a real cab driver. He waited in the street for what seemed like forever (probably only 30 seconds) then pulled away. Fucking scumbag. I was alone and too rattled to do anything, plus I thought I would be laughed at since I couldn't give a description except for male of what appeared to be middle eastern decent in a maroon cab. |
Anonymous
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I can't believe all the parents who did nothing once their child reported the abuse. I would absolutely lose my shit if someone hurt my child.
This makes me wonder ... PPs, were your parents otherwise loving and attentive? Was this a one off experience where they seriously dropped the ball? Or do you think you were more vulnerable due to a lack of parental oversight? I'm so sorry you went through this. I can't imagine the re-victimization of not having your family support you through this. |
Anonymous
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I was a poster in the Brock Allen Turner thread who shared my story.
I was between age 25-30 and it happened at work. I can't give specific details because that would lead to possibly finding the news articles on it. My co-workers and fiance knew right after it happened. I told my sister a few weeks later when she was visiting from out of state. I didn't tell my mother until a few years later because she's always been one of those "well, it was her fault for running at night alone" type people and I just couldn't deal with any comments she might have made. I didn't tell my dad; I just couldn't do it, so my mom did it for me and my sister was present to make sure she didn't "embellish" or put her own spin on how it happened. Now, after years of therapy, if the subject comes up, I'll talk about it. Right after it happened, I told a few people as possible because I already didn't have the initial 'luxury' of keeping it to myself as my story to share since it happened at my workplace. Knowing that everyone knew was so overwhelming because I'd always been a very private person. |