What are your DH's work days like?

[Anonymous]

Mine leaves the house at 7:30am and is home by 4pm. He is a teacher and works five minutes from home.

[Anonymous]

My dh is a police officer, works 10 hour days, 5pm to 3am.

[Anonymous]

My DH is a banker. Has a 7 minute commute (~3 miles), leaves the house about 8 and is home by 5:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine is the same way. He gets our kids up, but not dressed, while I am in the shower, and then leaves for work. So I get to get myself and two under five ready, and walk the dog, do the drop offs, work at my FT job, run out the door at 430, do the pick ups, come home, walk the dog, bathe the kids, and start dinner.

DH blows in about seven, and complains about his boss/traffic/whatever while eating dinner, then has some urgent "work project" or errand to run (because hey--he came home "on time"), leaving me to do the bedtime routine.

I don't think leaving DC would change him, and at least I have family in DC to support me.

Oh hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he home for dinner? Does he travel a lot? Mine is basically at the office Monday-Friday, and by the time he gets home in the evenings, I'm too worn out with the kids to even deal with whatever 'sympathies' he's looking for with traffic or work stress. I realize this is disrespectful to single moms, but sometimes I feel like one. I dream about leaving DC, the city where it seems like you commit your entire life to your career, above all else. I guess I'm just venting. I'm from a small town where life is just more enjoyable.

He owns his own law firm with a friend. Normally cooks dinner, puts the kids to bed with me. Generally works for an hour or two after they're in bed. Half a day on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is the same way. He gets our kids up, but not dressed, while I am in the shower, and then leaves for work. So I get to get myself and two under five ready, and walk the dog, do the drop offs, work at my FT job, run out the door at 430, do the pick ups, come home, walk the dog, bathe the kids, and start dinner.

DH blows in about seven, and complains about his boss/traffic/whatever while eating dinner, then has some urgent "work project" or errand to run (because hey--he came home "on time"), leaving me to do the bedtime routine.

I don't think leaving DC would change him, and at least I have family in DC to support me.

Oh hell no.

this sounds like my life, except i'm pregnant with #2. DEFINITELY not going to have 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is the same way. He gets our kids up, but not dressed, while I am in the shower, and then leaves for work. So I get to get myself and two under five ready, and walk the dog, do the drop offs, work at my FT job, run out the door at 430, do the pick ups, come home, walk the dog, bathe the kids, and start dinner.

DH blows in about seven, and complains about his boss/traffic/whatever while eating dinner, then has some urgent "work project" or errand to run (because hey--he came home "on time"), leaving me to do the bedtime routine.

I don't think leaving DC would change him, and at least I have family in DC to support me.

Oh hell no.

this sounds like my life, except i'm pregnant with #2. DEFINITELY not going to have 3.

Yep. That's why I stopped at one. I would love more kids, and he makes the suggestion everyday: "we should have another baby", but I just can't do it.

[Anonymous]

DH is regularly gone 7-7, with irregular travel, sometimes weeks at a time and some very late nights. It's why I'm not working and also why there is only one child.

[Anonymous]

DH travels 3 weeks a month Monday-Friday. He gets home at like 6pm though when he's in town. Occasionally he has to go into the office in the middle of the night. This is his dream job and forever job, so we moved very close to his job and very close to Dulles since that's his home away from home.

The travel bothers me a lot because he doesn't have an international cell phone and I really, really miss talking to him during the week. I think it's cheap AF that his work doesn't give him a cell phone to use and we really can't afford another cell phone on his fed salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he home for dinner? Does he travel a lot? Mine is basically at the office Monday-Friday, and by the time he gets home in the evenings, I'm too worn out with the kids to even deal with whatever 'sympathies' he's looking for with traffic or work stress. I realize this is disrespectful to single moms, but sometimes I feel like one. I dream about leaving DC, the city where it seems like you commit your entire life to your career, above all else. I guess I'm just venting. I'm from a small town where life is just more enjoyable.

I am SAHM, DH is attorney. He leaves the house at 7AM. 2 days a week he is home by 6PM (though about 50% I have already fed the kiddos) and typically will have to do a few hours of work when the kids go to sleep but he will do baths, bedtime for one of them and clean up the kitchen. The other 3 days he is home anytime from 8PM-3AM (no joke...AMs happen all the time). When he is home by 8PM we have time together. Weekends can go either way. Sometimes he has a lot of work, other times nothing more than a few hours.

I'll be honest, it sucks. He is wiped, I am wiped but the kids are happy. My DH was fired from a firm for not meeting his hours so this is just the way it is for us. If he did not have the firm job we'd be underwater financially even if I returned to work bc of his student loans. I try to think about the longtime but its so hard. At least in this area a lot of people are in the same position.

[Shineshelly]

Irregular work hours can put a strain on any marriage! My husband is active duty military and in the ten years we have been together, has never had a set schedule. As his responsibilities have increased, the more erratic his schedule has become. Currently, he operates on two different schedules. Sometimes he will work from 7:30am-4pm, then the next day he will work 12pm-2am, and then next 3pm-11pm.

I have found that we have had to be very intentional in making time for one another when he is home. Regular date nights, and even delaying holiday celebrations by hours or days, because it means we can celebrate together have helped keep us closer. Also, making intentional time for God and my faith has helped me tremendously in keeping the proper perspective on life and an outlet to receive encouragement through life's challenges. One last thing that I have learned is that building a solid marriage can mean refraining from activities that keep me away from home when my husband is there. Volunteer responsibilities, committees or a class that meets each week may tempt me, but guarding my time with my husband requires that I say no often.

I hope you and your husband can find a way to connect despite the arduous work schedule! Hang in there! Praying for you.

[Anonymous]

when DH is home (60% time), he works from home and does 50/50, or sometimes more. 40% of the time he is out of town, so I do all morning, drop offs, dinners, baths, and bedtimes. We recently hired an afterschool sitter/picker upper and it has helped a lot--she gets the kids, gets dinner started, tidies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he home for dinner? Does he travel a lot? Mine is basically at the office Monday-Friday, and by the time he gets home in the evenings, I'm too worn out with the kids to even deal with whatever 'sympathies' he's looking for with traffic or work stress. I realize this is disrespectful to single moms, but sometimes I feel like one. I dream about leaving DC, the city where it seems like you commit your entire life to your career, above all else. I guess I'm just venting. I'm from a small town where life is just more enjoyable.

LOL what if you WOH? C'mon you can muster up some sympathy. Don't you want him to be supportive of your stresses?

[Anonymous]

My Dh's work days are shorter than mine. Next question.

[Anonymous]

DH is self employed. He normally works 10-3.