What are your DH's work days like?
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Anonymous
| Is he home for dinner? Does he travel a lot? Mine is basically at the office Monday-Friday, and by the time he gets home in the evenings, I'm too worn out with the kids to even deal with whatever 'sympathies' he's looking for with traffic or work stress. I realize this is disrespectful to single moms, but sometimes I feel like one. I dream about leaving DC, the city where it seems like you commit your entire life to your career, above all else. I guess I'm just venting. I'm from a small town where life is just more enjoyable. |
Anonymous
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Mon-wed works 830 (or whenever he gets to work after dropping DS off at preK). Off work at 5-530 and takes him half an hour to get home.
Thurs-frid works from home. He rarely works on nights or weekends. |
Anonymous
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Do you have money for help?
I live in the metro area and we both work. Pretty stable hours, both home for dinner 90% of the time. By home, I mean by 5:30. A lot of people in our group have evenings to themselves. Maybe your dh needs to work for a different company. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I work also, but I only work until it's time to pick the kids up from school, so I go from career to mom for the rest of the day. |
Anonymous
| Not home for dinner. Half the time not home for bedtime. I sympathize with feeling like you don't have the energy to listen to gripes about his day. By the time my DH gets home I am DONE taking care of other people. |
Anonymous
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Mine is the same way. He gets our kids up, but not dressed, while I am in the shower, and then leaves for work. So I get to get myself and two under five ready, and walk the dog, do the drop offs, work at my FT job, run out the door at 430, do the pick ups, come home, walk the dog, bathe the kids, and start dinner.
DH blows in about seven, and complains about his boss/traffic/whatever while eating dinner, then has some urgent "work project" or errand to run (because hey--he came home "on time"), leaving me to do the bedtime routine. I don't think leaving DC would change him, and at least I have family in DC to support me. |
Anonymous
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DH works from about 9:30 or 10 to 7:30, and has a half hour commute both ways. I feed the kids and have them ready for bed, and he hangs out with them for a while, eats, then they go to bed. He occasionally has to go to the office for a few hours on weekends, but not often.
He travels a lot. Not as much lately. He's actually away on a 10 day trip now. When he's traveling frequently, he can be gone 10-15 days a month. |
Anonymous
| Mine comes home around 6:30. Sometimes we eat together, sometimes I feed the kids first. I SAH. I do all the kid related stuff. Mine doesn't look for sympathies -- but if he did, I would give them to him!!! Are your kids young? |
Anonymous
| Out of the door around 7-7:30. Home between 5-6. I work too, but shorter hours and part-time. Am the default parent. |
Anonymous
Travels for work about twice a year, about a week at a time. |
Anonymous
| Well let's see it's 8:29 and he's still not home. He's a Fed for those of you who say they don't work hard. |
Anonymous
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Leaves in the am anywhere from 7:30-9 and walks in the door most nights between 6:15 and 7. Commute is about 45 minutes.
Coaches a sport one day per week which means leaving work around 4. Is able to help me when I work late and leave early those nights. We eat dinner together almost every night that there isn't a special event going on...we just eat around 7 and never at 5:30. |
Anonymous
I'm with you. I'm with you. My kids are older now. I don't think its living here, I think its the guy. On the plus side, mine makes a lot of money and I've had full-time help all the way through. (I do work, so I need the help for the times when I cannot be with the kids). However, I allow myself lots of help in the evenings so I am not slogging it alone. As the kids get older though, a nanny/au pair does not replace a parent in terms of mentoring, modeling behavior, bonding, love etc etc. I wish I had more of that in my life, but I try to look on the bright side and see that at least he is at work and providing for us. |
Anonymous
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MY DH is a workaholic, no matter what or where we are.
We have a 1 and 3 yo so it's all hands on deck if you are home , and we try to be on deck during "prime time" (6am-8pm) if we're not at work. That said he is out the door at 7:30am, me at 8:15 and do a toddler preschool drop, and he is home at 6-6:30pm and me at 5:30pm to relieve the nanny. We do Hello Fresh or Blue Apron for our dinners. Toddler has pre-made meals (meatballs, broccoli, chicken dishes, salmon, etc). We never go to bed w/o cleaning up the kitchen and playroom. We thought about 3 kids but decided against it since the 2nd came. Babies are fun & snuggly but the little people stage is more fun. |
Anonymous
man. I explode when I have days or weeks like that. those 15 hour days of office, driving, and home everything can be rough. |