Feel gut-punched by SIL's comment I overheard

[Anonymous]

I think she was trying to make a joke and it fell flat. That's all. It happens to everyone. Let it go, OP, if in the balance you have a good relationship with her. It's a one-off and meaningless.

If you want to raise it with her, you could say "Larla, when you asked Gertrude if she needed to be rescued, was that about me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she was trying to make a joke and it fell flat. That's all. It happens to everyone. Let it go, OP, if in the balance you have a good relationship with her. It's a one-off and meaningless.

If you want to raise it with her, you could say "Larla, when you asked Gertrude if she needed to be rescued, was that about me?"

+1

And if you do ask, do it in a good-natured way so it doesn't sound like "was that about me" comes off as "it's all about me!"

Does SIL tend to drink to "slightly drunk" stage or beyond with regularity? If that's the case, I'd be more concerned about that than about this comment. Just something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she was trying to make a joke and it fell flat. That's all. It happens to everyone. Let it go, OP, if in the balance you have a good relationship with her. It's a one-off and meaningless.

If you want to raise it with her, you could say "Larla, when you asked Gertrude if she needed to be rescued, was that about me?"

Agree with this. I can be a bit (ok, a lot) awkward and I could see myself making a joke like this and it failing miserably. She's probably kicking herself privately now as well, worrying she's offended you or her friend.

[Anonymous]

You are being overly sensitive. It was probably just an attempt at a joke.

[Anonymous]

Some people may like their inlaws but still think others don't necessarily want to hang with them. Or maybe she was oddly a little jealous that you and her friend were hitting it off to whatever degree, so she said something joking but awkward. I wouldn't worry about it.

I would wonder about this... Unless you are completely over-the-top (which I doubt), I just can't see wanting to "rescue" a friend from an in-law even if I disliked the in-law. If anything, I would feel vaguely "responsible" for a SIL or BIL at an event I was hosting or involved in, and happy that they were mingling well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being overly sensitive. It was probably just an attempt at a joke.

NP. But ... there's often a kernel of perceived truth in a sarcastic remark like this. Latent hostility or something like that--something, in short, that would make the listener think, yes, I need to be rescued, in the eyes of the speaker. Not saying that's the case, but I would raise the issue. Very rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being overly sensitive. It was probably just an attempt at a joke.

Honey - next time you do some drinking, okay?

[Anonymous]

I always said when someone is drunk the true self comes out. Your SIL does not dislike you. She just thinks you talk too much. That is not a slight, it's a fact.

My BIL is the same way. He never shuts up. A know it all and can't wait to inform you, he gets on my last nerve. I never told him but I want to.

I wouldn't be offended OP. If that is the the only thing about you she nit picks, be grateful.

[Anonymous]

I would feel bad, too. Just remember, it says a lot about SIL. I would probably keep her at arms length and not interact much around her.

[Anonymous]

Gut-punched? That's an incredibly strong term for something so benign. Maybe you guys were talking for a really long time. Maybe you talk too much and don't realize it. Maybe the friend looked bored. Or maybe it was just a really stupid joke that fell flat. Move on!

Don't bring it up to SIL or you'll do even more damage to your relationship. Ignore the comment.

[Anonymous]

When someone is drunk they say dumb things OP. Don't take it to heart. She was probably just surprised that you got along with her friend.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she was annoyed you were monopolizing her friends and tried to pull her away. Drunk people can be really idiotic and irrational since feelings are magnified. I would ignore it honestly, but if something similar happens again, then talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did the friend react?

This. If she took her up on the offer I'd know something was up with breath/boring people.

If not, I'd think it was SIL just trying to be funny. I'm the type of person to have said "rescued from what- what's going on" or "I was rescuing her from YOU!" and not thought too deeply about it.

[Anonymous]

Op, I have a coworker that I really like and enjoy talking to. However, she also can talk WAY TOO MUCH at times. I and others who know and like her are aware, and have bailed each other out from time to time so we can just get work done. She's still awesome in general.

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. 16 years ago my SIL was quite drunk when over at our house. While I was holding her hair as she got sick she told me if I wasn't so damn nice she would hate my guts. She went on to say she would hate me because she was jealous of me in a bunch of different ways.

I don't think she remembers saying it. I don't bring it up. But I can see that it is true. And I will never forget it.