One Night Stands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single woman, 33 years old here. Went on a first date on Friday with a really cool guy, had an awesome time and ended-up sleeping with him. He hasn't called me. Did I mess up? I usually wait until date 3 to have sex and am no virgin but I'm not promiscuous either. I've only had three one nights stands in college. Can I fix this?

What are you doing next Saturday?

He told you about her too....? Hopefully he doesn't post it online...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've waited months to sleep with someone who was just working towards that one thing. I've also ended up in a rela much tionship with someone I slept with after the second date. A friend of mine married her booty call. I don't think the rules apply anymore. If he doesn't call, you found out in one date that he is a jerk. If this experience has been painful for you, I'd advise you to remember that going forward but don't beat yourself up about it.

But a jerk who got laid.

They both got laid.

But much easier for a woman to get laid all things equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single woman, 33 years old here. Went on a first date on Friday with a really cool guy, had an awesome time and ended-up sleeping with him. He hasn't called me. Did I mess up? I usually wait until date 3 to have sex and am no virgin but I'm not promiscuous either. I've only had three one nights stands in college. Can I fix this?

What are you doing next Saturday?

He told you about her too....? Hopefully he doesn't post it online...

Don't mind the FU spillover OP. It's temporary.

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned. I'm a 32yo single woman. If you're after a relationship, just wait longer next time so that you can see potential jerk qualities beforehand. Nothing to be ashamed about otherwise.

Sounds like this guy really wasn't awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

+1

[Anonymous]

He just wanted in your panties. Next time wait a few dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

So if a woman wants a one night stand with a man but he tells her that is not what he is interested iguy n, he isn't a decent guy? What kind of convoluted logic is that? Maybe to him sex is not something you do on a casual basis. But I guess this is DCUMland, where unless you have a large number of partners and are totally uninhibited and the man is not completely in agreement with this, well, you are just a pathetic guy......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

So if a woman wants a one night stand with a man but he tells her that is not what he is interested iguy n, he isn't a decent guy? What kind of convoluted logic is that? Maybe to him sex is not something you do on a casual basis. But I guess this is DCUMland, where unless you have a large number of partners and are totally uninhibited and the man is not completely in agreement with this, well, you are just a pathetic guy......

If the guy personally wants to wait, then hey, fine for him, and she can choose to take it slow with him if she wants -- but that doesn't mean it's valid for him to have an opinion about her having one night stands with other people.

The key flaw here is in assuming that having one night stands marks you as a "certain type of person", rather than just being a personal preference and nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He just wanted in your panties. Next time wait a few dates.

She wanted dick from him too, so what's the problem? They both got great sex out of it. He apparently doesn't want anything more than that, so it ends here, but nobody was wronged and nothing went wrong. The system worked(tm).

[Anonymous]

Did I mess up? I usually wait until date 3 to have sex and am no virgin but I'm not promiscuous either. I've only had three one nights stands in college. Can I fix this?

No, you didn't mess up. It has nothing to do with you. He's just the kind of guy who isn't interested in follow-up/cannot be bothered. There's nothing to fix. You found out quickly what he was after and now you put him behind you (if you're not interested in another hook-up without more).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've waited months to sleep with someone who was just working towards that one thing. I've also ended up in a rela much tionship with someone I slept with after the second date. A friend of mine married her booty call. I don't think the rules apply anymore. If he doesn't call, you found out in one date that he is a jerk. If this experience has been painful for you, I'd advise you to remember that going forward but don't beat yourself up about it.

But a jerk who got laid.

They both got laid.

But much easier for a woman to get laid all things equal.

I don't know many guys who have trouble getting laid, unless something stands out about them, and not in a good way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

So if a woman wants a one night stand with a man but he tells her that is not what he is interested iguy n, he isn't a decent guy? What kind of convoluted logic is that? Maybe to him sex is not something you do on a casual basis. But I guess this is DCUMland, where unless you have a large number of partners and are totally uninhibited and the man is not completely in agreement with this, well, you are just a pathetic guy......

If the guy personally wants to wait, then hey, fine for him, and she can choose to take it slow with him if she wants -- but that doesn't mean it's valid for him to have an opinion about her having one night stands with other people.

The key flaw here is in assuming that having one night stands marks you as a "certain type of person", rather than just being a personal preference and nothing more.

But people who are ok with ONS re "certain kinds of people" as are people who aren't into casual sex. It's a difference of compatibility and in some cases values and when it comes to relationships it's fine for anyone man or woman to have an opinion on the kinds of values they want in a potential life partner.

[Anonymous]

It's unappealing if you're a male or female and are willing to go to bed on a 1st or 2nd date with a unknown person.

Shows a lack of respect for themselves, their health and poor judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look at it as you found out up front what you were working with. Would you feel better if you had waited the 3 dates, invested your time & energy and then he didn't call?

Most decent guys don't want anything long term with women who do that. When she did that she kind of made that choice it wasn't going anywhere.

If a guy wouldn't want a long term relationship with a woman because she's open to one night stands, literally by definition he isn't "a decent guy", he's a piece of shit.

So if a woman wants a one night stand with a man but he tells her that is not what he is interested iguy n, he isn't a decent guy? What kind of convoluted logic is that? Maybe to him sex is not something you do on a casual basis. But I guess this is DCUMland, where unless you have a large number of partners and are totally uninhibited and the man is not completely in agreement with this, well, you are just a pathetic guy......

If the guy personally wants to wait, then hey, fine for him, and she can choose to take it slow with him if she wants -- but that doesn't mean it's valid for him to have an opinion about her having one night stands with other people.

The key flaw here is in assuming that having one night stands marks you as a "certain type of person", rather than just being a personal preference and nothing more.

But people who are ok with ONS re "certain kinds of people" as are people who aren't into casual sex. It's a difference of compatibility and in some cases values and when it comes to relationships it's fine for anyone man or woman to have an opinion on the kinds of values they want in a potential life partner.

It's really not fine to prefer that your partner hasn't previously had a bunch of other partners, actually -- it's pretty clear evidence you've failed at life.