Were you happier after leaving a bad marriage?

[Anonymous]

My marriage wasn't abusive but I wasn't happy. I am now divorced and happier than ever. I honestly feel like I've been reborn.

[Anonymous]

OP - no kids - no happiness - GO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are going to feel SO free, and so angry at yourself that you took so long to get out once you see how great your life is. Run. Don't look back. Of COURSE you're a capable person without him. Think of how much fun you'll have shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond buying new kitchen stuff that YOU like. Think of how much fun you'll have doing whatever you want on weekends, on not tip-toeing around someone else's temper.

Fly free, little birdie!

Run!!! But, please don't be angry at yourself...

[Anonymous]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much happier. I'm several years out and thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are going to feel SO free, and so angry at yourself that you took so long to get out once you see how great your life is. Run. Don't look back. Of COURSE you're a capable person without him. Think of how much fun you'll have shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond buying new kitchen stuff that YOU like. Think of how much fun you'll have doing whatever you want on weekends, on not tip-toeing around someone else's temper.

Fly free, little birdie!

Run!!! But, please don't be angry at yourself...

The first time I went grocery shopping after getting separated was so eye opening. I hadn't fully realized how he controlled everything in my life. I was free to eat crab cakes if I wanted dammit! I'm sure the checkout person thought I was to be pitied, another single gal in the city buying dinners for one and cat food...but I was on cloud nine. Just so happy to be free.

[Anonymous]

Why is this a question if you don't have kids?

Leave. Immediately. You will never regret it.

[Anonymous]

I'm happily married many years, BUT my 1st husband was a hole. He was just like yours, mentally abusive. I stayed too long because we moved a few times for his career and I didn't work or was in a crappy job so yes I was mostly concerned about finances. I pre-planned it well by putting money away, and getting myself in a good position first. In fact my parents advised me to do that first. It was so nice after the divorce, I never wanted to talk to him again and during the divorce I went along and pretended to be nice so he would stay amicable. We had a home that was all loan so he happily let me keep it since I wanted to stay there so it all worked out.

You obviously have to get out but be smart about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a couple of months away from leaving my unhappy marriage. I've been married for 9 years to an angry man who has been emotionally abusive and emotionally unavailable to me. My husband makes twice as much money as I do and never lets me forget it. He has told me that I'm lucky he puts up with me and that I'm ungrateful for everything he does for me. I was completely independent before our marriage and took care of myself. He now tells me that I can't take care of myself without him. I'm getting ready to leave and all the terrible things he has said to me keep playing in my head.
I'm so scared to leave, but would be more scared to stay.
We don't have any children, thank God. I have been in therapy dealing with this, but could really use some BTDT wisdom from others. Thank you![/quote

This is a horrible person, same kind I married. Today he is still miserable and not married, I looked on FB...lol.

He actually told me my degree was worthless and his was great though he always hated his jobs and changed them often. When he didn't know I had long planned to divorce him he told me he liked the dogs better than me. We moved to a new state for his new job, so I still wasn't working after 6 mo and had family come to visit. After they left he told me I'd better get a job by a certain date or he'd divorce me, lol. I made sure to take a year off after that because I knew I could always get a job, and since he made decent money I could still sock plenty away.

OP are you working, and putting money away?

[Anonymous]

So much happier.

After two years of counseling about the issue, I finally made good on my desire to leave due to lack of sex. That this was the reason for my divorce really helped me know what kind of woman I would fit with in my next relationship and we are very happy together so far.

Can't imagine I'll ever remarry but you never know.

[Anonymous]

Not to have that boot on my neck? Oh, yes. Very happy.

His voice will stay with you for awhile, even after the divorce is finalized. Take care of yourself and KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Life is so much sweeter now.

[Anonymous]

MUCH better. Best thing I ever did for myself.

[Anonymous]

This morning was my divorce day in court, 24-year marriage separated a year, 2 kids. Even though he was verbally abusive and a narcissist, others saw only his charming side. Its been a gut-wrenching year watching him move on effortlessly while I haven't been able to, still waiting for the great feelings of freedom and sweetness that others talk about. Maybe today things will change.

[Anonymous]

The financials are always the scariest part. When I got divorced I set a strict budget for myself and watched every penny. I couldn't buy a lot of the luxuries I previously liked to, but that was okay. It'll stabilize once you get past those first few months. I'm much, much happier now. It was worth the time period of scary unknowns.

[Anonymous]

I am definitely happier after leaving. I think you will be surprised at all the positive changes in your life. However, it is a mixed bag (especially at first). You may flip flop on whether you made the right decision. You'll probably miss him, too. It takes a while to get on your feet and find that new happiness.

It's well worth the struggle to leave and find a better place.

[Anonymous]

You took care of yourself before and you can do so again. Only you can set yourself free from his prison ... RUN! Don't wait any longer. His voice can only leave your head when you get away from him ... then his toxic commentary will slowly but surely fade away. You can do this. You know you can. So DO IT.