Were you happier after leaving a bad marriage?

[Anonymous]

I'm a couple of months away from leaving my unhappy marriage. I've been married for 9 years to an angry man who has been emotionally abusive and emotionally unavailable to me. My husband makes twice as much money as I do and never lets me forget it. He has told me that I'm lucky he puts up with me and that I'm ungrateful for everything he does for me. I was completely independent before our marriage and took care of myself. He now tells me that I can't take care of myself without him. I'm getting ready to leave and all the terrible things he has said to me keep playing in my head.
I'm so scared to leave, but would be more scared to stay.
We don't have any children, thank God. I have been in therapy dealing with this, but could really use some BTDT wisdom from others. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Please leave. You will be happier, guaranteed--whether by yourself or with the right person.

[Anonymous]

OMG if no kids, run away! No question about it. You will be so much happier and healthier.

[Anonymous]

I had been unhappy for so many years, I almost forgot how to be happy. Classic response of a victim of abuse.


That lasted about 3 years.

Much, much happier now! And healthier! No question.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness you don't have any children! Get out ASAP. Why do you have a few more months. My ex was similarly emotionally abusive. The first day I filed for divorce was hard (in a scary way), but I've never regretted the decision once.

I'm happily married again. There is hope, please don't let the horrible things he says get into your head.

[Anonymous]

Leave and never look back

[Anonymous]

Always leave an emotionally abusive relationship especially if you don't have kids. A toxic environment is never good for ones safe space. Emotional abuse can lead to anxiety panic and a perfect spouse can have feelings of inadequacy. Removal of the female partner from an emotional safe space and exposure to her own deficiencies can cause emotional distress and a form of abuse inflicted by actual reality popping the necessary bubble of delusion necessary for the females self worth and delicate house of cards.

[Anonymous]

yeeeeeeeeeeeessss. yes. yes. yes. Go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Always leave an emotionally abusive relationship especially if you don't have kids. A toxic environment is never good for ones safe space. Emotional abuse can lead to anxiety panic and a perfect spouse can have feelings of inadequacy. Removal of the female partner from an emotional safe space and exposure to her own deficiencies can cause emotional distress and a form of abuse inflicted by actual reality popping the necessary bubble of delusion necessary for the females self worth and delicate house of cards.

Unecessary

[Anonymous]

You are going to feel SO free, and so angry at yourself that you took so long to get out once you see how great your life is. Run. Don't look back. Of COURSE you're a capable person without him. Think of how much fun you'll have shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond buying new kitchen stuff that YOU like. Think of how much fun you'll have doing whatever you want on weekends, on not tip-toeing around someone else's temper.

Fly free, little birdie!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG if no kids, run away! No question about it. You will be so much happier and healthier.

+1

Even with kids, run.

I did. We are all happier, except my ex. But nothing makes him happy.

[Anonymous]

You should have left yesterday. Now go!

[Anonymous]

Do it! I left a similarly abusive marriage but I didn't have the nerve to do it until we had two kids and things escalated. Now I will be tied to him for the rest of my life. Even so, I am so much happier. He also told me I couldn't take care of myself. I am doing just fine. You will too.

[Anonymous]

If I didnt have kids I would be sooooooo out of here. Go, OP! You deserve and will find so much better.

[Anonymous]

I have never felt so lonely as when I was in an abusive marriage, and never so free as I did afterwards!