We're getting used to not having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Bahahaha! This is what I hear from a lot of women, many pray for ED!

Wow. That's messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Bahahaha! This is what I hear from a lot of women, many pray for ED!

Wow. That's messed up.

While I don't pray for ED, I did pray that DH's circulation/age would help his sensitivity. He's the opposite of a lot of guys I've known (in the past). As they get older they tend to become less sensitive (also softer erections) to the sensation and last longer. He's in amazing shape and too firm (this is not a brag. this is real). I was hoping for vaginal deliveries also so that it would be a little looser (unfortunately 2 c-sections instead). obviously, it's better than having complete ED, but it's been a huge source of frustration for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Bahahaha! This is what I hear from a lot of women, many pray for ED!

Wow. That's messed up.

While I don't pray for ED, I did pray that DH's circulation/age would help his sensitivity. He's the opposite of a lot of guys I've known (in the past). As they get older they tend to become less sensitive (also softer erections) to the sensation and last longer. He's in amazing shape and too firm (this is not a brag. this is real). I was hoping for vaginal deliveries also so that it would be a little looser (unfortunately 2 c-sections instead). obviously, it's better than having complete ED, but it's been a huge source of frustration for us.

He's done too soon? They cane prescribe meds for that. I had an ex with a similar problem. The meds helped a ton. He went from 2-3 minutes of barely being able to move in missionary to 30+ minutes of doing it aggressively in any position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Many women do. My friend was cheated on by her husband, then he ended up getting ED. She thinks it's great (KARMA) plus she knows he's not going to be cheating again. He's not very old so I don't know what causes that in men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Bahahaha! This is what I hear from a lot of women, many pray for ED!

Wow. That's messed up.

While I don't pray for ED, I did pray that DH's circulation/age would help his sensitivity. He's the opposite of a lot of guys I've known (in the past). As they get older they tend to become less sensitive (also softer erections) to the sensation and last longer. He's in amazing shape and too firm (this is not a brag. this is real). I was hoping for vaginal deliveries also so that it would be a little looser (unfortunately 2 c-sections instead). obviously, it's better than having complete ED, but it's been a huge source of frustration for us.

He's done too soon? They cane prescribe meds for that. I had an ex with a similar problem. The meds helped a ton. He went from 2-3 minutes of barely being able to move in missionary to 30+ minutes of doing it aggressively in any position.

I had one of those in college, called him the "minute man".

The problem is once you go down the road of meds, they screw up other organs in your body. If sex is that important by all means, not worth messing up one's health over imo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It didn't work?" What do you mean? He doesn't have to be fully erect for either of you to have an orgasm.
I think you need to explore more adventurous sex that depends more on emotional connection than perfectly-working genitals. As people get older, their bodies tend to change, and you've got to roll with it. You've got to start talking openly with him about this and its effect on you, but you've got to see sex as more than just PIV sex. He's got fingers? A tongue? Seriously, the events you have described are not the end of an erotic life. You need to tell him you need to feel wanted by him and it bothers you that he does not care about your lack of date nights. You have to tell him this and be careful how you word it so what comes across is not some kind of accusation, but a sincere wish to get closer to him.

OP here - yes, you have a lot of good points. I think he is dealing with feelings of inadequacy but his lack of interest and initiative in date nights are making me feel undesired.

How should I tell/ask him that I want him to initiate the next one? I don't want to "test" him though

[Anonymous]

Don't say anything, leave it up to him to initiate. Otherwise it's only more added pressure he doesn't need. You're too focused on all this imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"It didn't work?" What do you mean? He doesn't have to be fully erect for either of you to have an orgasm.
I think you need to explore more adventurous sex that depends more on emotional connection than perfectly-working genitals. As people get older, their bodies tend to change, and you've got to roll with it. You've got to start talking openly with him about this and its effect on you, but you've got to see sex as more than just PIV sex. He's got fingers? A tongue? Seriously, the events you have described are not the end of an erotic life. You need to tell him you need to feel wanted by him and it bothers you that he does not care about your lack of date nights. You have to tell him this and be careful how you word it so what comes across is not some kind of accusation, but a sincere wish to get closer to him.

I'm not the OP but for me there's no substitute for a hard, well-endowed guy who actually cares about your pleasure enough to make sure you're having fun too. The other things are just window dressing.

Yes. I need to see the fullness of a well endowed guy to get rolling. Happily, my late 30s DH has that going for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"It didn't work?" What do you mean? He doesn't have to be fully erect for either of you to have an orgasm.
I think you need to explore more adventurous sex that depends more on emotional connection than perfectly-working genitals. As people get older, their bodies tend to change, and you've got to roll with it. You've got to start talking openly with him about this and its effect on you, but you've got to see sex as more than just PIV sex. He's got fingers? A tongue? Seriously, the events you have described are not the end of an erotic life. You need to tell him you need to feel wanted by him and it bothers you that he does not care about your lack of date nights. You have to tell him this and be careful how you word it so what comes across is not some kind of accusation, but a sincere wish to get closer to him.

I'm not the OP but for me there's no substitute for a hard, well-endowed guy who actually cares about your pleasure enough to make sure you're having fun too. The other things are just window dressing.

This isn't the experience of a lot of women -- they can't orgasm from PiV, so the penis is the window dressing while the fingers & tongue are the main event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't say anything, leave it up to him to initiate. Otherwise it's only more added pressure he doesn't need. You're too focused on all this imo.

OP here - I hear what you're saying, but the frequency is really dwindling....

I don't want to pressure but I don't want to give up....

We're still affectionate and cuddly, thankfully

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Many women do. My friend was cheated on by her husband, then he ended up getting ED. She thinks it's great (KARMA) plus she knows he's not going to be cheating again. He's not very old so I don't know what causes that in men.

Just saying, but I've heard plenty of times men who had ED with their wives and a raging boner with their AP. SO. That.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Many women do. My friend was cheated on by her husband, then he ended up getting ED. She thinks it's great (KARMA) plus she knows he's not going to be cheating again. He's not very old so I don't know what causes that in men.

Just saying, but I've heard plenty of times men who had ED with their wives and a raging boner with their AP. SO. That.

Maybe so, not in this case. ED is mostly permanent.

[Anonymous]

Does he use toys on you?
If not, why not?

[Anonymous]

It's been my experience the more you pressure someone the opposite the behavior.

Good psychology usually works best imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I prayed for this day and my prayers were answered !!

Bahahaha! This is what I hear from a lot of women, many pray for ED!

Wow. That's messed up.

While I don't pray for ED, I did pray that DH's circulation/age would help his sensitivity. He's the opposite of a lot of guys I've known (in the past). As they get older they tend to become less sensitive (also softer erections) to the sensation and last longer. He's in amazing shape and too firm (this is not a brag. this is real). I was hoping for vaginal deliveries also so that it would be a little looser (unfortunately 2 c-sections instead). obviously, it's better than having complete ED, but it's been a huge source of frustration for us.

Have you tried with him wearing a condom?