Low earning husband who does not want to share any housework or parenting duties

[Anonymous]

$65k is low earning? That describes half the male public school teachers I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Have you tried going on strike?
Making meals for everyone except him.
Doing everyone's laundry except his.
Cleaning up the common areas and kids' bedrooms, but not his areas, if he has any. Perhaps telling him to sleep on the couch so that you can have a clean bedroom without having to clean up his stuff?
Not buying anything for him when going shopping.
Not consulting him at all on anything, making weekend plans with playdates and activities and seeing friends, but not telling him.

Basically, shutting him out until he sees reason.

Op here. this is where I have been headed recently. I figured it will help me adjust before a divorce, at the very least, give me a little more calm and quiet, and maybe reduce the workload. The idea that it will have an impact on him is not one I think is healthy to count on.

+1.

Act as a single mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Have you tried going on strike?
Making meals for everyone except him.
Doing everyone's laundry except his.
Cleaning up the common areas and kids' bedrooms, but not his areas, if he has any. Perhaps telling him to sleep on the couch so that you can have a clean bedroom without having to clean up his stuff?
Not buying anything for him when going shopping.
Not consulting him at all on anything, making weekend plans with playdates and activities and seeing friends, but not telling him.

Basically, shutting him out until he sees reason.

+1.

Act as a single mother.

Op here. this is where I have been headed recently. I figured it will help me adjust before a divorce, at the very least, give me a little more calm and quiet, and maybe reduce the workload. The idea that it will have an impact on him is not one I think is healthy to count on.

Yes, i think that would be the best strategy. You can test it out and see how truly wonderful the freedom is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Have you tried going on strike?
Making meals for everyone except him.
Doing everyone's laundry except his.
Cleaning up the common areas and kids' bedrooms, but not his areas, if he has any. Perhaps telling him to sleep on the couch so that you can have a clean bedroom without having to clean up his stuff?
Not buying anything for him when going shopping.
Not consulting him at all on anything, making weekend plans with playdates and activities and seeing friends, but not telling him.

Basically, shutting him out until he sees reason.

Op here. this is where I have been headed recently. I figured it will help me adjust before a divorce, at the very least, give me a little more calm and quiet, and maybe reduce the workload. The idea that it will have an impact on him is not one I think is healthy to count on.

+1.

Pp who suggested the strike here.
Don't be so sure about that. He may be a very clueless person, and not a bad person. I have implemented some version of that strike when my husband acted like a dick and went through periods of not lifting a finger in the house. The more you do for them, the less they do, and they get complacent about it!

So time to wake him up a little.


Act as a single mother.

[Anonymous]

Oops, blue all wrong! Sorry!

[Anonymous]

You can't be broke and lazy too. Pick one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't be broke and lazy too. Pick one.

+1
He needs to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump him.

+1 Single mom here. You don't need that crap in your life. Or to teach your kids that that's how a wife should be treated. Much better on the other side.

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling OP doesn't take her wifery seriously and expects her low earning husband to kiss her ass. And he doesn't.

You picked him, you fix him. Stop whining, sit and talk to your husband. Bitching here, getting super bitch advice will not solve your problem.

Don't any of you communicate ? TALK IT OUT.

[Anonymous]

Op you can fix this. You need to really talk to him. Be direct. Tell him what you need. He may need explicit instructions. Divorce is a huge deal and your life will be hard but in a different way. You can do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling OP doesn't take her wifery seriously and expects her low earning husband to kiss her ass. And he doesn't.

You picked him, you fix him. Stop whining, sit and talk to your husband. Bitching here, getting super bitch advice will not solve your problem.

Don't any of you communicate ? TALK IT OUT.

It's her job to fix him? Ummmmmm sorry no. Welcome to the 21st century. Women don't have to be stuck with men's bullshit for life anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling OP doesn't take her wifery seriously and expects her low earning husband to kiss her ass. And he doesn't.

You picked him, you fix him. Stop whining, sit and talk to your husband. Bitching here, getting super bitch advice will not solve your problem.

Don't any of you communicate ? TALK IT OUT.

It's her job to fix him? Ummmmmm sorry no. Welcome to the 21st century. Women don't have to be stuck with men's bullshit for life anymore.

I would sure hope my husband would talk to me before leaving me over something that can be fixed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be broke and lazy too. Pick one.

+1
He needs to.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling OP doesn't take her wifery seriously and expects her low earning husband to kiss her ass. And he doesn't.

You picked him, you fix him. Stop whining, sit and talk to your husband. Bitching here, getting super bitch advice will not solve your problem.

Don't any of you communicate ? TALK IT OUT.

It's her job to fix him? Ummmmmm sorry no. Welcome to the 21st century. Women don't have to be stuck with men's bullshit for life anymore.

I would sure hope my husband would talk to me before leaving me over something that can be fixed.

OP here. I have talked til I was blue in the face. I am going g to try more, sit down, make a list, and also pursue more counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling OP doesn't take her wifery seriously and expects her low earning husband to kiss her ass. And he doesn't.

You picked him, you fix him. Stop whining, sit and talk to your husband. Bitching here, getting super bitch advice will not solve your problem.

Don't any of you communicate ? TALK IT OUT.

It's her job to fix him? Ummmmmm sorry no. Welcome to the 21st century. Women don't have to be stuck with men's bullshit for life anymore.

You know we know you hate man and are bitter, but this woman has three kids(and a life). She can fit this pretty easily. So just stop. Go work the phones for HRC.