Not invited to SIL's baby shower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:rude

Also tacky for MIL to be hosting for her daughter. On 2nd thought, be glad you do not have to spend time with these tacky people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:rude

Also tacky for MIL to be hosting for her daughter. On 2nd thought, be glad you do not have to spend time with these tacky people.

Tacky for a mom to throw a party for her daughter? You people are beyond fucked up.

OP, your SIL and MIL don't like you. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an invitation? If this is your SIL, shouldn't you be throwing the shower with your MIL? Maybe you didn't get invited because you didn't help. And because you prioritize work over the shower.

They don't sound like the rude party....

Not necessarily. Sounds like OP's brother is married to SIL. In which case, SIL's own blood relatives may be throwing her a shower. It's possible that OP and her mother (the SIL's in-laws) could also throw her a family shower on their side of the family. OP isn't rude.

No OP said "hosted by my MIL". The SIL is DH's sister. OP should've been the one to throw this shower for her, not the mother. And it's a shower for her future niece/nephew and isn't going because of work. I'm surprised people think this is acceptable.

OP - call your MIL today and ask if you can be in charge of the cake or dessert. Offer to get there early to help decorate. Schedule your work around the shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an invitation? If this is your SIL, shouldn't you be throwing the shower with your MIL? Maybe you didn't get invited because you didn't help. And because you prioritize work over the shower.

They don't sound like the rude party....

Not necessarily. Sounds like OP's brother is married to SIL. In which case, SIL's own blood relatives may be throwing her a shower. It's possible that OP and her mother (the SIL's in-laws) could also throw her a family shower on their side of the family. OP isn't rude.

No OP said "hosted by my MIL". The SIL is DH's sister. OP should've been the one to throw this shower for her, not the mother. And it's a shower for her future niece/nephew and isn't going because of work. I'm surprised people think this is acceptable.

OP - call your MIL today and ask if you can be in charge of the cake or dessert. Offer to get there early to help decorate. Schedule your work around the shower.

so when you are not invited to a party, do you call the host and ask if you can be in charge of dessert or help decorate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an invitation? If this is your SIL, shouldn't you be throwing the shower with your MIL? Maybe you didn't get invited because you didn't help. And because you prioritize work over the shower.

They don't sound like the rude party....

Not necessarily. Sounds like OP's brother is married to SIL. In which case, SIL's own blood relatives may be throwing her a shower. It's possible that OP and her mother (the SIL's in-laws) could also throw her a family shower on their side of the family. OP isn't rude.

No OP said "hosted by my MIL". The SIL is DH's sister. OP should've been the one to throw this shower for her, not the mother. And it's a shower for her future niece/nephew and isn't going because of work. I'm surprised people think this is acceptable.

OP - call your MIL today and ask if you can be in charge of the cake or dessert. Offer to get there early to help decorate. Schedule your work around the shower.

So you're saying that OP should be throwing a shower for her SIL's family? Or perhaps OP and her mother will throw a shower for SIL as well. Maybe the families don't know each other well. My MIL hosted a shower for me with DH's family and the friends from that side of our marriage. My mother's friends threw me a shower for my side of the family and friends. Stop trying to make OP out to be rude.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am not one to care what my SIL thinks, and I tend to be pretty good at making up excuses for people. But when I flew 2,000 miles to be at her wedding and she didn't invite me to do any of the lady-wedding things, including the luncheon or happy hour, and I sat alone in the nearest Hampton Inn or window shopped in a shitty Michigan town while my husband went to the stuff with his brother....whelp, I am still stupidly hurt three years later. I'm sorry you were excluded in this way. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Is the shower in Michigan? Maybe they didn't invite out of town people? It's kind of gift grabby to invite you and expect you to fly across the country.

[Anonymous]

If you & MIL already discussed the date and MIL knows you can't attend, then she may have not sent an invite because she already discussed it with you and knows your RSVP would be a no.

I'm not big on formalities and if you were my SIL, I'd run it by you over Christmas and if you had said you absolutely couldn't make it because of work commitments, then I wouldn't have sent an invitation either. Sending a shower invite to some one you know can't attend is just a gift grab, I feel like - kinda rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you & MIL already discussed the date and MIL knows you can't attend, then she may have not sent an invite because she already discussed it with you and knows your RSVP would be a no.

I'm not big on formalities and if you were my SIL, I'd run it by you over Christmas and if you had said you absolutely couldn't make it because of work commitments, then I wouldn't have sent an invitation either. Sending a shower invite to some one you know can't attend is just a gift grab, I feel like - kinda rude.

This. I didn't invite my own sister to my baby shower because I knew she couldn't make it, why bother sending her a formal invite? I don't remember if I sent her a wedding invitation either, or to my step siblings or parents...they cost per invite and obviously they were all invited (and came).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you & MIL already discussed the date and MIL knows you can't attend, then she may have not sent an invite because she already discussed it with you and knows your RSVP would be a no.

I'm not big on formalities and if you were my SIL, I'd run it by you over Christmas and if you had said you absolutely couldn't make it because of work commitments, then I wouldn't have sent an invitation either. Sending a shower invite to some one you know can't attend is just a gift grab, I feel like - kinda rude.

This. I didn't invite my own sister to my baby shower because I knew she couldn't make it, why bother sending her a formal invite? I don't remember if I sent her a wedding invitation either, or to my step siblings or parents...they cost per invite and obviously they were all invited (and came).

+1 It could just have been a misunderstanding about expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you & MIL already discussed the date and MIL knows you can't attend, then she may have not sent an invite because she already discussed it with you and knows your RSVP would be a no.

I'm not big on formalities and if you were my SIL, I'd run it by you over Christmas and if you had said you absolutely couldn't make it because of work commitments, then I wouldn't have sent an invitation either. Sending a shower invite to some one you know can't attend is just a gift grab, I feel like - kinda rude.

This. I didn't invite my own sister to my baby shower because I knew she couldn't make it, why bother sending her a formal invite? I don't remember if I sent her a wedding invitation either, or to my step siblings or parents...they cost per invite and obviously they were all invited (and came).

That is the cheapest thing I've ever heard of. Your PARENT'S didnt get one of their daughters wedding invitations because of COST? You people are crazy.

OP…..you honestly can't make the shower because of WORK? A shower that is months away? Then what do you care? You obviously prioritize work over relationship and I guess others have picked up on that.

[Anonymous]

If I had a question/problem with my MIL/SIL, know what I'd do? *I'd talk to DH of to them directly.* This isn't rocket science. Be a grown up and call the hostess FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick google search shows me that a lot of moms-to-be intentionally not invite their in-laws or wonder if that's an okay thing to do.
My SIL is due in a few months and having a baby shower in January, hosted by my MIL. We are not particularly close, but there's no hostility whatsoever between us. The whole family just spent the Christmas together and had a really good time. My MIL even discussed the shower with me before on several occasions. So this really baffles me.
DH thinks it was an oversight, but then again, I didn't even get the invitation for my SIL's wedding (which I attended, of course). You'd expect that she'd make sure I get the invitation this time around.
I have to work on weekends to meet a deadline, so I wouldn't have been able to go even if I were invited. But that they decided not to invite me to the shower is really hurtful.
Am I over-reacting to think it's rude they didn't invite me?

I agree with those that say why invite if you have to work. Did you say that while you all were discussing the shower? If you did, kwitcherbitchin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an invitation? If this is your SIL, shouldn't you be throwing the shower with your MIL? Maybe you didn't get invited because you didn't help. And because you prioritize work over the shower.

They don't sound like the rude party....

Not necessarily. Sounds like OP's brother is married to SIL. In which case, SIL's own blood relatives may be throwing her a shower. It's possible that OP and her mother (the SIL's in-laws) could also throw her a family shower on their side of the family. OP isn't rude.

No OP said "hosted by my MIL". The SIL is DH's sister. OP should've been the one to throw this shower for her, not the mother. And it's a shower for her future niece/nephew and isn't going because of work. I'm surprised people think this is acceptable.

OP - call your MIL today and ask if you can be in charge of the cake or dessert. Offer to get there early to help decorate. Schedule your work around the shower.

So you're saying that OP should be throwing a shower for her SIL's family? Or perhaps OP and her mother will throw a shower for SIL as well. Maybe the families don't know each other well. My MIL hosted a shower for me with DH's family and the friends from that side of our marriage. My mother's friends threw me a shower for my side of the family and friends. Stop trying to make OP out to be rude.

Yes that's what I'm saying. OP should've helped MIL plan and throw this shower. If I'm understanding the relationship right, the SIL is her husband's sister. So the people invited would be DH's relatives - cousins, aunts - which are her family too by marriage. OP said they just saw each other over the holidays; she could've used that time to help plan. Instead she probably dropped news that she was going to work instead of attend. Imagine how SIL and MIL must have felt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an invitation? If this is your SIL, shouldn't you be throwing the shower with your MIL? Maybe you didn't get invited because you didn't help. And because you prioritize work over the shower.

They don't sound like the rude party....

Not necessarily. Sounds like OP's brother is married to SIL. In which case, SIL's own blood relatives may be throwing her a shower. It's possible that OP and her mother (the SIL's in-laws) could also throw her a family shower on their side of the family. OP isn't rude.

No OP said "hosted by my MIL". The SIL is DH's sister. OP should've been the one to throw this shower for her, not the mother. And it's a shower for her future niece/nephew and isn't going because of work. I'm surprised people think this is acceptable.

OP - call your MIL today and ask if you can be in charge of the cake or dessert. Offer to get there early to help decorate. Schedule your work around the shower.

So you're saying that OP should be throwing a shower for her SIL's family? Or perhaps OP and her mother will throw a shower for SIL as well. Maybe the families don't know each other well. My MIL hosted a shower for me with DH's family and the friends from that side of our marriage. My mother's friends threw me a shower for my side of the family and friends. Stop trying to make OP out to be rude.

Yes that's what I'm saying. OP should've helped MIL plan and throw this shower. If I'm understanding the relationship right, the SIL is her husband's sister. So the people invited would be DH's relatives - cousins, aunts - which are her family too by marriage. OP said they just saw each other over the holidays; she could've used that time to help plan. Instead she probably dropped news that she was going to work instead of attend. Imagine how SIL and MIL must have felt.

How can you pick a date to have a party and then expect another person to not only be there but to help host it? If they wanted Op to host it they should have mentioned that. I don't think that I would have just assumed that I would be the one hosting the shower especially if they had already picked the date.

If these mannerly ladies are having an issue with Op - they should be equally mad at themselves because they helped to create the issue.