Working moms, would you ask for this special consideration if in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask. And I say that as someone who did this exact thing without any problems from my employer. In my case, I changed jobs after my maternity leave to a firm that was expressly hiring for an all-remote, flex hours, 20 hours a week job (specifically, they were looking for a lawyer, likely a new mom, to do flexible research on their own time without needing to bring on a full time position). My husband needed to spend a month overseas for work so we made a family trip of it. It wasn't that big of a deal based on the already very flexible, independent nature of my job. That said, I only asked because I knew I was likely quitting in the next year (I did).

The reason I wouldn't ask is because this is just one more thing you're "asking" for. I am now back at a regular firm, and it is super flexible, no one asks where you are so long as you get your work done. I come in late regularly, work from home regularly. It's fine. But I don't "ask" for anything. Because I speak from experience that when you are a boss, there are some employees who are always asking for something. And employers notice. My boss does not notice that I work from home twice a week. He genuinely doesn't notice or care. If I was asking him every week "joe, is it okay if I work from home on Friday?" he'd of course say yes, but after about three weeks he'd start logging the ridiculous number of times I work from home and would almost certainly start to think I was abusing the system. I think a month working out of the office on a different time zone is such an unusual request that, taken by itself it is fine. But then your DD will get sick the following week and you'll work from home, and then one day the plumber is coming, etc etc and now you've set yourself up for your boss to be kind of skeptical eye-roll-y.

[Anonymous]

I would not do this. You have already been given 4 months maternity leave and even though you were unpaid, the company put out money hiring a temp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, this isn't really connected with your maternity leave. It's not asking for leave because of your kid situation, it's asking for leave because of your husband and travel situation. I actually DO think that it's a little annoying to ask for a month of teleworking leave after a long maternity leave where other people in your office are not getting similar amounts of time off. I can understand why your husband wants you to do this (not wanting to be away from his kids that long and wanting to share the experience with you, I'd guess), but I think it's too bad he's not accepting that the ask obviously puts you in an awkward position with your employer.

Do you actually WANT to do this? If you're not that keen on it, I wouldn't. If you'd actually like to, I'd ask, but make it clear that you totally understand if your employer would rather not permit this leave at this time.

I agree with this. Then again, maybe I'm just jealous because I'm also returning to work in February after an unpaid four-month leave and despite sitting in front of a computer all day with no client contact, meetings, etc., I have zero flexibility for working outside the office.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, nobody wants to be seen as the poster child for special pleadings. If this was your first big ask, okay. But coming on the heels of a maternity leave, and who knows what else you'll be asking for soon with two young kids including a baby in your household, it seems like you're setting yourself up as the squeaky wheel.

[Anonymous]

yes, you might be seen as the squeaky wheel, but if you get your work done and your clients like you, then you're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not do this. You have already been given 4 months maternity leave and even though you were unpaid, the company put out money hiring a temp.

Uh, no they didn't. They didn't pay OP, they paid the temp instead.

[Anonymous]

Other things to keep in mind:
- What is the country and is overseas working OK? There are security/privacy issues in some other countries and my company does not let us connect everywhere.
- Is your employment a "job" or a "career". If it's just a job, then fine, ask. If it's a "career" where you'd like to be promoted at some point, then perception is important.
- How do people at your work view you? Are you seen as someone who works hard and provides needed support? Or are you more of a seat filler? If you have a good reputation, then asking is probably ok.
- How is your company's financial situation? Every quarter there's another round of layoffs at my large company - so I am hesitant to ask for special privileges.
- Are you busy now that you've returned from maternity leave? Will there be any question about how hard you work while overseas? If you can ensure you're productive, then ask.

[Anonymous]

OP is also not even back from maternity leave yet (not til February), so might be asking for this additional thing while she's still out on leave, before her employer even knows how she will perform after she starts work again with additional responsibilities at home. Which also makes this a bigger ask, I think.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you everyone for the responses. Since I respond directly to clients (gov workers- I'm a contractor), mgr rarely sees my work. It is available for review but mgr just doesn't much review our work. I do get
Positive client feedback. Not a position with promotion potential but small yearly increases based on performance.

I would be happy/willing to go if it worked out, but it wouldn't be DH twisting my arm for me to ask. I think the unfortunate part of all of this is that the request might not be that big of a deal on its own. One employee was granted telework long term to move to another state and its worked out just fine. It's just sad that, tacked on with maternity leave, some think its asking for too many favors, even though holding a job for a postpartum mom is a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you everyone for the responses. Since I respond directly to clients (gov workers- I'm a contractor), mgr rarely sees my work. It is available for review but mgr just doesn't much review our work. I do get
Positive client feedback. Not a position with promotion potential but small yearly increases based on performance.

I would be happy/willing to go if it worked out, but it wouldn't be DH twisting my arm for me to ask. I think the unfortunate part of all of this is that the request might not be that big of a deal on its own. One employee was granted telework long term to move to another state and its worked out just fine. It's just sad that, tacked on with maternity leave, some think its asking for too many favors, even though holding a job for a postpartum mom is a requirement.

Going to another state is not at all complicated legally (well, not very). Going to another country is very complicated legally. Maternity leave or not, that is asking for a huge huge favor.

[Anonymous]

Just questions to consider...
Is this other country in the same time zone? Do you need to be available by phone? Would you really be working for DH instead of doing your job?
Do you plan on pumping during that time?

[Anonymous]

If you do government work for clients, once you are out of the country there could very well be export (ITAR and Commercial) restrictions on you work, as well as security issues, depending on what you do. Your employer may not like that.

[Anonymous]

What part of the world? Having lived overseas with kids, the logistics can be extensive. If I were you, even if I were a SAHM, I would stay out for such a short period of time (a month isn't very long).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What part of the world? Having lived overseas with kids, the logistics can be extensive. If I were you, even if I were a SAHM, I would stay out for such a short period of time (a month isn't very long).

*put not out

[Anonymous]

Could you time it so that you could tack it onto your maternity leave? They already have a temp in place so it may not be as big of a deal as if you come back then go out again. I do agree that you'd need to make sure whatever country you'd be going to wouldn't be a concern.