Working moms, would you ask for this special consideration if in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

We have an infant and a two year old. I'll be returning to work in Feb after (unpaid) maternity leave of 4 mo. Job was flexible in allowing me 4 months, and hired a temp. Work has been slow this time of year and ebbs and flows a lot so I didn't miss much. My job allows 2 work from home days per week but could theoretically be all remote, as it does not require any kind of client visits or in person meetings. I respond to remote clients and largely work independent of other coworkers. Occasional collaboration for not require meeting in person.

DH has a chance to develop an idea he came up with overseas through his work for a period of about a month at some point this year. He is encouraging me to ask for a month of telecommute to accompany him and work out a short term nanny for the kids (bringing them with us) while there. Coming off of maternity leave, I think this is asking a lot of my employer .DH feels like if I am getting the work done, I shouldn't feel bad to ask. He also feels that I shouldn't think of this as 'another' special consideration as maternity leave is a fact of life, not a privilege. I get that, but maybe just still worry that people in the office (almost no one with kids) think it's a picnic.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

OP again. For the record, manager is very lenient about taking leave for his own kids (late arrivals, early departures etc).

Just more wondering whether people think I should even ask...

[Anonymous]

I would feel funny asking too, OP. I think it really depends on what kind of equity you built up prior to your maternity leave, how much you feel you still have (ie did you stay connected during your leave? Sometimes employers don't expect but appreciate this? If you have been working there a while, get stellar reviews, have a good relationship with your boss then it may work out. I feel that you should ask regardless, but in an appropriate way. Be prepared for them to say no. If you can't go will your husband go anyway or not go? My husband leaves for a month every year for work and it isn't as bad as you would think.

[Anonymous]

Do YOU want to do it or are you using this as an excuse to tell your husband no?

Because I don't see the harm in asking. You explain the circumstance, give your employer start and stop dates, identify what hours you will work and be available, and what work you intend to do. Then give them time to think about it.

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok to ask. Give them a plan of how you'd make it work.

[Anonymous]

I would think about how exactly you'd like this to work. If your ideal situation is to work remotely for a month, ask for that. If you think a month is too long, maybe ask for two or three weeks.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been there? What's your reputation like? No harm in asking if you want to do it.

[Anonymous]

I think it doesn't hurt to ask, but I would frame it very much through work, and never mention the kids once. Obviously, you'd have to start out with the overseas opportunity your husband has, and at some point you might mention you'll of course have full time childcare. But other than that, stay relentlessly focused on how you will get the work done and make this non disruptive for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I am a working mom - w 3 young kids and I need to be in the office most days. (home sick today - but that is another story). I manage people and as long as they deliver, keep me informed of status I could care less where they are doing their job from.

I would think the others in the office might see you as a role model. If you do it well - others who have been itching to do the same might try.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

If you truly think you'll be able to work remotely, on an east coast schedule, and have proven yourself at this job, then I think you should ask.

It's not really maternity leave, you are working remotely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's ok to ask. Give them a plan of how you'd make it work.

a detailed written plan!

[Anonymous]

If your employer is smart they will be cautious about granting this request. Depending on your duties and the country they could be taking some tax risks- remote risks sure, but often these things start out as a month or so and go longer. Also do you have a work permit for that country? If not, there is some risk involved there too both for you and possibly the company. Does your employer have an office in that country?

In other words this request is fraught legally and if your employer is savvy they will pick up on the legal issues and either deny it or make you contractually agree to a bunch of stuff that may not be true.

[Anonymous]

I would ask. It's not like they had to pay your maternity leave. Lots of moms go back to work teleworking full time or part time for the first few months.

[Anonymous]

It can't hurt to ask, but make sure you've thought the whole thing through. What hours will you be online? What happens if you need to come into the office?

[Anonymous]

The thing is, this isn't really connected with your maternity leave. It's not asking for leave because of your kid situation, it's asking for leave because of your husband and travel situation. I actually DO think that it's a little annoying to ask for a month of teleworking leave after a long maternity leave where other people in your office are not getting similar amounts of time off. I can understand why your husband wants you to do this (not wanting to be away from his kids that long and wanting to share the experience with you, I'd guess), but I think it's too bad he's not accepting that the ask obviously puts you in an awkward position with your employer.

Do you actually WANT to do this? If you're not that keen on it, I wouldn't. If you'd actually like to, I'd ask, but make it clear that you totally understand if your employer would rather not permit this leave at this time.