Baby after 50

[Anonymous]

Op said this isn't her first so she knows what is in store. I had mine at 43. Hard pregnancy and difficult boy. I can keep up but I do worry down the road. My dh is 13 years younger but doesn't help much. Hopefully he'll step up down the road? I'd be worried about special need issues and who would take care of the child when I die because they would be 30-40 and alone? IDK, hard call. If an accident then take what comes. But I might not want to plan a child at that age. And at one point I thought I would consider it. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who on here has had a baby after 50 - by birth, assisted or not or though adoption or foster care.
Considering adding an infant to our family and wondering if others have done this and their thoughts.
If you haven't and just want to add your two cents about me being too old or selfish or something, just can it.
Thanks

Do you think differently about men? Because my DH was almost 50 when I had my 3rd.

His Dad was in his mid-50s when he had his fourth.

How deep are your double standards?

I was 42 with my second and last; my husband was 46.

At 49, I can't imagine having a kid at 50, and neither can my husband.

sorry - But as one "experienced" in this area, I can talk.

[Anonymous]

Gave birth to a healthy infant after 50 through DE. It took surgery and multiple cycles to get there, much longer than we had thought. This was to be the final attempt. I had accepted that I was going to be an "older" mother but I defined older as 45 and never dreamed it would go to 50. And now we have our child. Pregnancy was not difficult, although age alone had me in the high risk OB practice all the way through and a planned C-section. I was not their oldest patient and the nurses in maternity gushed (a little too often, frankly) that I was recovering a lot faster than the 20-30 somethings on the ward.

It will be harder to make mom friends, let's not kid around about it, though no way impossible. I was in a Moms over 40 group early on and it was helpful but people were too scattered over the DMV to create lasting bonds. Like PPs said, you don't have to tell your age, and do what you can to look and feel good. Even with all that, the reality is that you won't look like the typical stroller-pusher with the pretty ponytail, and be prepared to be approached as the grandmother or the nanny. My personal favorite? When he was a 2 month old and a neighbor I didn't know remarked, "Oh, do you watch him?". Uh, yeah, 24/7!

You will inevitably be "out of sync" with many of your pre-baby friends, as their nests are emptying now. So if you thrive on "fitting in", forget it. Now.

We ldo worry about the future and how to support our child having relationships and emotional support outside of the two of us. Fortunately we are in a good financial situation.

OP, whatever you decide, I wish you all good things.

[Anonymous]

A cousin just had her first baby at age 50 (Husband is early 40s.) She and her husband have been together over 10 years but they never wanted kids until recently.

She had a relatively easy pregnancy and worked out at the gym a lot until month 7 or 8. She wasn't treated as high risk and had fewer ultrasounds than I did.

As others have mentioned, the social aspects may be the hardest. My cousin looks very good for her age (and younger) but when she was buying baby clothes early on and not showing, several women thought she was the grandmother. That freaked her out. Now she seems to be intimidated about joining moms groups.

good luck

[Anonymous]

hmmm double standard - true. never thought of that! no one bats an eyelash with a man over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hmmm double standard - true. never thought of that! no one bats an eyelash with a man over 50

Nope, not an eyelash. I prefer to roll my eyes instead.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine being pregnant and dealing with the infant and toddler years at over 50 years old. No way. Adopt or foster an older child instead.

[Anonymous]

My dad raised two foster kids from infancy after age 50. He was exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A cousin just had her first baby at age 50 (Husband is early 40s.) She and her husband have been together over 10 years but they never wanted kids until recently.

She had a relatively easy pregnancy and worked out at the gym a lot until month 7 or 8. She wasn't treated as high risk and had fewer ultrasounds than I did.

As others have mentioned, the social aspects may be the hardest. My cousin looks very good for her age (and younger) but when she was buying baby clothes early on and not showing, several women thought she was the grandmother. That freaked her out. Now she seems to be intimidated about joining moms groups.

good luck

What ob gyn did she see? Around here, a FTM at 45 would definitely be classified as high risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A cousin just had her first baby at age 50 (Husband is early 40s.)
As others have mentioned, the social aspects may be the hardest. My cousin looks very good for her age (and younger) but when she was buying baby clothes early on and not showing, several women thought she was the grandmother. That freaked her out. Now she seems to be intimidated about joining moms groups.

quote]

To 0:54 with the new mom cousin, 20:12 here. If she wants to talk with a fellow 50's mom about the social aspects, I'm happy to hear from her. [e-mail].

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A cousin just had her first baby at age 50 (Husband is early 40s.) She and her husband have been together over 10 years but they never wanted kids until recently.

She had a relatively easy pregnancy and worked out at the gym a lot until month 7 or 8. She wasn't treated as high risk and had fewer ultrasounds than I did.

As others have mentioned, the social aspects may be the hardest. My cousin looks very good for her age (and younger) but when she was buying baby clothes early on and not showing, several women thought she was the grandmother. That freaked her out. Now she seems to be intimidated about joining moms groups.

good luck

AMA starts at 35. Your cousin was WAY past high risk.

[Anonymous]

How much past 50?

[Anonymous]

Over the past year, three 50 something people that I know personally have lost their lives. An involved and much loved father of 4; an old friend with a demanding full time job who was also a part time fitness instructor - she died months after a tough diagnosis; a beloved mother and grandma who lived her life well but lost her hard fought battle with cancer.

I bring this up not to dissuade you from having a child, but to hammer in the reality that a long life or even reasonable health is not a given for any of us.

If you have a baby now Op just do not assume that you will be around to watch him/her grow up. You should have a plan in place in case something happens to you.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Being a parent is a ton of work but also one of the most rewarding things you could ever do.

[Anonymous]

In Florida, you qualify for the 55 and over retirement community. Ever see one of those where the residents have five-year-olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Florida, you qualify for the 55 and over retirement community. Ever see one of those where the residents have five-year-olds?

Are children allowed in over 55 communities?? Where is this?