Baby after 50

[Anonymous]

My hest friend in middle school was the youngest of seven, with a huge gap between her and the other siblings (they were all adults out of the house when she turned 13, and born to parents in their 50s.

Her house was the place we all went to when we wanted to sneak out to meet boys or borrow from the liquor cabinet. All our parents thought her nice older parents would have stricter rules with us, but they were old and tired and fell asleep early. We got away with so much at uer house.

I personally would not want to parent teenagers in my mid to late 60s.

OP, if you are craving a baby in your 50s, just remember that being a grandparent is just around the corner. You can get your baby fix that way.

[Anonymous]

one of my mom friends had her daughter at 48. I never would have guessed it and she's got more energy then many of us.

You know you OP - best of luck.

[Anonymous]

I was 46, naturally conceived. Baby is totally healthy. Pluses and Minuses all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op said this isn't her first so she knows what is in store. I had mine at 43. Hard pregnancy and difficult boy. I can keep up but I do worry down the road. My dh is 13 years younger but doesn't help much. Hopefully he'll step up down the road? I'd be worried about special need issues and who would take care of the child when I die because they would be 30-40 and alone? IDK, hard call. If an accident then take what comes. But I might not want to plan a child at that age. And at one point I thought I would consider it. Good luck OP.

Op said that she is considering adding an infant to her family. It isn't clear if she has ever had kids before herself or if she is newly married hoping to have a child with a spouse who came to the marriage with children. Or some other variation on that.

[Anonymous]

From PP with 1st time mom cousin at 50+ -- My cousin's OB was in Kaiser P. network in NoVA. She did not undergo the testing and monitoring that I had as a 40+ mom. I was very surprised that cousin only had a few ultrasounds and was not monitored or check by perinatal specialist in late pregnancy. I told her she should be monitored more carefully and she thought I was meddling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Florida, you qualify for the 55 and over retirement community. Ever see one of those where the residents have five-year-olds?

Are children allowed in over 55 communities?? Where is this?

That was point. Most Americans outside of D.C. look forward to retirement at 55, not chasing a 5 year old kid.

[Anonymous]

A lot different if it's not your first, or if it's your first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over the past year, three 50 something people that I know personally have lost their lives. An involved and much loved father of 4; an old friend with a demanding full time job who was also a part time fitness instructor - she died months after a tough diagnosis; a beloved mother and grandma who lived her life well but lost her hard fought battle with cancer.

I bring this up not to dissuade you from having a child, but to hammer in the reality that a long life or even reasonable health is not a given for any of us.

If you have a baby now Op just do not assume that you will be around to watch him/her grow up. You should have a plan in place in case something happens to you.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Being a parent is a ton of work but also one of the most rewarding things you could ever do.

The same can be said of anyone at any age. All parents should have a plan in place in case they die.

[Anonymous]

As a side note, I know many grandparents in their late 60s, 70s (an a few in 80s) helping to raise their young grandchildren by serving as primary FULL TIME (day)caregivers, either live-in or in their homes. Sure they are not round-the-clock parents but arguably they do provide a bulk of care in the kids' prime waking hours. they all seem to have plenty of energy (keeps them young) and excitement to help raise their grandchildren.

My grandmother lived with us and took care of my brother and I when my mom went back to work full time, plus she cooked dinner every night and did housework, laundry, gardening (no one asked, she just did it), well into her 80s!! When we were teenagers, she kept on us to do homework, pick up, stop watching TV, get off the phone. She was our 3rd parent.

So naysayers, don't make so many assumptions about being "too old" to have the "energy" (patience, etc.) to raise a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Florida, you qualify for the 55 and over retirement community. Ever see one of those where the residents have five-year-olds?

Are children allowed in over 55 communities?? Where is this?

That was point. Most Americans outside of D.C. look forward to retirement at 55, not chasing a 5 year old kid.

Ha. My 60-something sister would like to move to one, but can't get my 30 year old loser nephew out of the house.

Life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Why would you want to be going to your kids high school graduation at 68 and college graduation at 72? Ick. Ick. Ick.

What else am I going to do at 72, decoupage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Why would you want to be going to your kids high school graduation at 68 and college graduation at 72? Ick. Ick. Ick.

What else am I going to do at 72, decoupage?

I think I love you.

[Anonymous]

OMG, what is there to even talk about? OP, if you're up to it, do it. God knows, the time is not on your side. So stop wasting it reading these internets and have your baby. Good luck. I for one think babies are awesome at any age. Plenty of older parents around. You're old enough to know without the spiteful younger crowd chiming in.

So, do it. Be happy, and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over the past year, three 50 something people that I know personally have lost their lives. An involved and much loved father of 4; an old friend with a demanding full time job who was also a part time fitness instructor - she died months after a tough diagnosis; a beloved mother and grandma who lived her life well but lost her hard fought battle with cancer.

I bring this up not to dissuade you from having a child, but to hammer in the reality that a long life or even reasonable health is not a given for any of us.

If you have a baby now Op just do not assume that you will be around to watch him/her grow up. You should have a plan in place in case something happens to you.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Being a parent is a ton of work but also one of the most rewarding things you could ever do.

The same can be said of anyone at any age. All parents should have a plan in place in case they die.

Yes, true enough. I know that we certainly had a back up plan in place when our children were little in particular (we were in our 30's when they were born) but it would have been a real fluke if something had happened to either one of us at that age. At 50 it would certainly be sad if something happened to either one of us but it would hardly be the fluke that it would have been in our 30's.

Obviously the risk of ill health and death go up as you age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Florida, you qualify for the 55 and over retirement community. Ever see one of those where the residents have five-year-olds?

Are children allowed in over 55 communities?? Where is this?

That was point. Most Americans outside of D.C. look forward to retirement at 55, not chasing a 5 year old kid.

Ha. My 60-something sister would like to move to one, but can't get my 30 year old loser nephew out of the house.

Life.

Is she the legal guardian of her 30 year old or is the 30 year old just mooching?