Bean counting
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Anonymous
Have you ever eaten a meal with small children? |
Anonymous
Dogs are perfect for this. They get a little chubby though so you might have to cut back on the kibble. |
Anonymous
| He sounds like a douche. Just realize, OP- it's hard to change a man. Do you really want to deal with this for the rest of your life? |
Anonymous
Agreed. I'd have vacuum too. But if you're anal about vacuuming like I am (because of small pets), you should consider a roomba. They are pricey, but if that's one less argument then it's well worth the price. |
Anonymous
To quote my favorite movie, Knocked Up - "You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!" |
Anonymous
I got hung up on this part too. DH does dishes while I put the preschooler to bed. Elementary kid gets herself ready with minimal prompts. Then DH and I relax. We don't vacuum in between the cleaners unless there is something really messy. If my preschooler makes a mess under the table I wipe it up with a wet paper towel and toss it in the garbage. |
Anonymous
| Does your husband spend any time with his children at all? This would really bother me. Well, so would his devaluing your child care contributions, asking you to arrange backup care if you could not do 100% of it, and claiming they doing the dishes and cooking on weekends is harder than child care. Unless you have angel children, child care is clearly harder. |
Anonymous
| He cooks on the weekend for the whole week? That's pretty awesome and counts for a lot!! |
Anonymous
Because she's a martyr?
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Anonymous
| There will ALWAYS be work to be done. You choose this over cuddling with your husband? |
Anonymous
| Why are you vacuuming every night and is it really a contest? Because you are coming off as very immature. You are a team, talk to the man and figure it out. |
Anonymous
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OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband refuses to do anything for the children. At best he will read them one (ONE!) bedtime story before bed. Otherwise everything kid and or house related is dumped on me. He expects me to clear out my schedule and spend lots of romantic time with him after I've cleaned up from dinner and put both kids to bed.
/ Strangely enough, I'd do almost anything to avoid this! I think we're probably going to get divorced. Hope you figure out a better way. |
Anonymous
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I am sure that many working families go through all of this, it sounds like a very common issue to me.
The term "strenuous" is very subjective in nature. Some may view vacuuming as strenuous while others may find it quite relaxing. Same goes for washing the dishes & doing the laundry. So basically it is all relative here. I say talk to your husband when things are calm at home + you both are in a good place. This hopefully will set the mood for a relaxed conversation w/no accusations. Let him know that you truly appreciate all that he does for your family. Tell him all the things he does that you sincerely are grateful for. Even remind him what a great cook he is, etc. Gently tell him that you do not think he is not doing "enough," it's just that you would like him to do more to keep the homefires burning. Give him a run-down of a typical day & request that he does a little more in order to lift some of that burden off of you daily. Now of course, he isn't going to automatically agree to every one of your terms. This is where YOU will actually have to practice some good old-fashioned "give + take." But if he is willing to compromise along w/you, then that is a huge step in the right direction. If he still cannot see your side of things, perhaps a neutral 3rd party can talk to him. Hopefully you both can work this out. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| OMG, OP. Do you literally vacuum every day after putting kids to bed? You need to relax a bit. Some crumbs on your floor can wait for a day or even (gasp!) two. |
Anonymous
Roomba is expensive piece of crap. Ours broke within 6 months. |