What should my 75yo self tell my 50yo self?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard to know, and you shouldn't live your life with regrets. Here's what I am thinking about:

- really pushing on saving for retirement now that kids are in college (we already saved for that)
- having a career plan for the next 10-15 years
- finding some new interests now that the kids are gone
- focusing on my health - exercising and losing/maintaining weight
- thinking about where I want to travel over the next few years
- thinking about when and if to downsize our primary house

I agree on really pushing on saving for retirement but then wouldn't spending money on travel work against that goal? Everything I read about saving for retirement says that it will cost more than we might expect, just as college costs increased so greatly in the last twenty years. It would be great to travel now that the kids are out if the house, but what if my 75 year old self needs expensive ongoing medical care? Would that self tell my present self that we shouldn't have spent that $5000 on that trip to Europe because if we had kept it in investments it would have given me that little bit more peace of mind at 75?

We've saved all our lives and are getting kids through college without any loans. We will probably also pay for at least part of grad school for a couple of them, too, and have already paid out a lot for a wedding. It seems selfish or short-sighted though to ever spend anything on us.

Your kids are out of the house already? Mine are still in elementary school. They won't be out of college until I'm in my mid-60s.

Funny that on the over 50 forum people are shocked, SHOCKED at the idea of kids being out of the house! My youngest is a college sophomore and I was teen mom by DCUM standards - 35 when DC was born!

Not pp but haha. You'll be pushing late 50's yourself by the time your kiddo is out of college. If your kid goes to grad school you may actually be in your 60's by the time he is done with school.

I had my youngest at 36, btw. I'm really not teasing you! But it's not like you are 42 with a college grad already - and there are people in that situation.

But that's my point. By the time one is over 50 it's not THAT unusual to have kids in college vs still in elementary school. A couple of my college friends (and this was a top SLAC, not a place where people went to get a MRS degree) are actually grandparents now - a few by second marriages, but some whose children have already had babies.

[Anonymous]

You're too old to have babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're too old to have babies.

Exactly. I had my oldest at 30 (which is no teen mom by any stretch of imagination), so when did you have your children so that you are in mid 60s when they are done with college??

[Anonymous]

Had both kids before 28! 58 with with both fully adults...but no grandkids. Wish we did. House paid off, both of us partially retired....looking for what might be next.

I'm fascinated by what I know now that I wish I had known then. So I want to imagine what I will need to know now. And I think it is health....don't let it go...

[Anonymous]

I would say, don't worry about it. Don't bother. Because what I worried about at 25 that might happen was totally irrelevant at 50, and the stuff I've needed to deal with as I got older was never on my radar at all when young. Couldn't have prepped for it if I wanted to.

[MikeL]

Anonymous wrote:Keep chasing tail as long as you can because once you stop, that's it.

Words to live by there.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy being widowed! Never, ever marry again - marriage is a hugely raw deal for women with money, especially in the 70s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turning fifty and wondering what advice I'd give my 25 yo self. But it's too late anyway.
Help me think what my 75yo self can tell my 50yo self now. So I can avoid any regrets.
Life is so short.

Marry the nicest, most ambitious, most caring man who's crazy about you that you can find. Don't squander your youth on a funny, good looking guy. He'll make you miserable by the time you're older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your 50 year old self to not be sedentary, do Pilates or yoga or body weight exercises, lots of walking, whatever it takes to be mobile and strong down the road. Travel now, because we are not promised tomorrow.

Those are the two things I consistently hear from older people. I also see that developing a life/interests outside of work and (grand)kids makes a big difference in happiness later on. And that losing weight and not putting off hip/knee replacements are probably good plans. If you wait until your mobility is really compromised or you're dealing with a lot of pain, then it's much harder to lose weight and post-surgical rehab is longer and more difficult.

[Anonymous]

"Things look better on this side of the cloud"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy being widowed! Never, ever marry again - marriage is a hugely raw deal for women with money, especially in the 70s.

Thank you for this, although I'm divorced, not widowed.

Whenever I look wistfully at my friends working their Match.com and eHarmony program, I keep thinking I should do more to market myself and "put myself out there." But then I think about the end game and I remember ... I actually don't want to be partnered up with someone and experience the compromises all over again.

Dinner, drinks and reliable sex are all nice things but I must remember they come with a price.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turning fifty and wondering what advice I'd give my 25 yo self. But it's too late anyway.
Help me think what my 75yo self can tell my 50yo self now. So I can avoid any regrets.
Life is so short.

Marry the nicest, most ambitious, most caring man who's crazy about you that you can find. Don't squander your youth on a funny, good looking guy. He'll make you miserable by the time you're older.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Drink less and eat better.

[Anonymous]

60 year old here with young children: Save for retirement but enjoy life now also. Don't put off that dream vacation because as you get older, travel is not as much fun. Find someplace to live that is comfortable and easy to get around. at 75 (my parents a few years ago) you are watching from the sidelines so make sure there is something to see.

[Anonymous]

50/M here with two DDs - one is out of college and the other is a senior in college. Maintaining the balance between saving for retirement and living life while young enough to enjoy it is the essential equation at this stage of life. Not everyone has the ability to do either, so consider yourself fortunate if you're in a position to make these choices.

I had a couple of defining moments that have helped with my decision-making. The first was when my wife and I were on vacation in Venice, I noticed an elderly lady in a wheelchair who was unable to navigate through narrow passages and across all of those little canal bridges. We've been up and down hundreds of steps in cathedrals, monuments, hill towns and natural parks. So lesson number one for me is that some places are only accessible when you're physically capable - even if you live to a ripe old age, you may not be physically able to get to them. The other defining moment was the passing of a coworker. I had never met anyone with a more clear plan for their retirement travels, but within weeks of her retirement, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and then died after 6 months of intense and unpleasant treatment. So lesson number two is that you may never get the chance to enjoy retirement as you envision it. I'm just hoping lesson number three isn't that I spent too much money reacting to lessons one and two.