Sad about extended family Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sister has kids also. FWIW, she has not said one word of this to me. It's all come thru my mom, and again, not in plain words.

And I'm not playing dumb now that my mom has inferred all of this. Before I really didn't know. My sister and I are not super close. But my kids and her kids adore each other - I think they all behave fine.

Pick up the phone and call your sister. Just do it. Open this can of worms, because it needs to be opened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sister has kids also. FWIW, she has not said one word of this to me. It's all come thru my mom, and again, not in plain words.

And I'm not playing dumb now that my mom has inferred all of this. Before I really didn't know. My sister and I are not super close. But my kids and her kids adore each other - I think they all behave fine.

Pick up the phone and call your sister. Just do it. Open this can of worms, because it needs to be opened.

+1. I'm the PP who asked if your sister has kids.

Give her a call. Be open and prepared for whatever she has to say. I think the switching off at a hotel solution is a good one, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sister has kids also. FWIW, she has not said one word of this to me. It's all come thru my mom, and again, not in plain words.

And I'm not playing dumb now that my mom has inferred all of this. Before I really didn't know. My sister and I are not super close. But my kids and her kids adore each other - I think they all behave fine.

Just how small is this house? Some people just aren't comfortable sharing close quarters with those outside their nuclear family. Maybe your sister's husband is uncomfortable sharing a room/bathroom with you and your family. Heck, here on DCUM it seems to be the consensus that it COMPLETELY unreasonable for parents to share a hotel room with their own child when they go away!

[Anonymous]

My mom means well but misinterprets and exaggerates things all the time. It's caused problems between sibings and also spouses in the past. I think you should talk to your sister.

[Anonymous]

It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

Ok, so your sister and her Dh get one Queen bed, you and your Dh get the other....and the kids go where? Maybe sister and/or BIL aren't comfortable with their kids sleeping on the floor. Or sharing a bathroom with you and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

And Santa can most certainly go to hotels. I think your last sentence answers your whole problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

I think YOU are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

Ok, so your sister and her Dh get one Queen bed, you and your Dh get the other....and the kids go where? Maybe sister and/or BIL aren't comfortable with their kids sleeping on the floor. Or sharing a bathroom with you and your family.

Yes, kids on floor/air mattresses. We're talking 24-36 hours. If my sister is the one with the issue, then I think SHE should make the alternate arrangements. I'm fine with splitting the space equally. If my mom would like me NOT to come to her house for Christmas, I'd like her to say so. Directly. And say why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's 3br/2.5 baths. Spare rooms each have a queen.

I'm not staying in a hotel December 24th. How would Santa do his job?? I would rather be at home than that.

Ok, so your sister and her Dh get one Queen bed, you and your Dh get the other....and the kids go where? Maybe sister and/or BIL aren't comfortable with their kids sleeping on the floor. Or sharing a bathroom with you and your family.

Yes, kids on floor/air mattresses. We're talking 24-36 hours. If my sister is the one with the issue, then I think SHE should make the alternate arrangements. I'm fine with splitting the space equally. If my mom would like me NOT to come to her house for Christmas, I'd like her to say so. Directly. And say why.

First you need to talk to your sister and get the real low-down on what she said. Then you need to talk to your mother and ask her what SHE wants, and not use your sister for an excuse, if that's what she was doing.

[Anonymous]

Our family is so dysfunctional.

[Anonymous]

I side with your sister on this.

[Anonymous]

I do not want to sleep on a couch, on a floor, or in a room with anyone other than my husband. That's not fun and/or cozy to me. Ask your sister if she would come to your parents if you paid for her and her family to stay at a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I side with your sister on this.

It supposedly bothers her that we are not close. This is not going to help.

[Anonymous]

You're trying to have 4 adults and 4 children share a 3 BDR house for multiple days. Yes some people would be OK with this but your sister (and it seems like your mom) isn't. Why don't you give them a break from you and your family. Visit another time and let you sister have a chance to stay with your mom.

In the grand scheme of life, is alienating your sister worth the friendship between the cousins? I guarantee you and she will get along much better if you skip this year.