How do you make new friends in your 50s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like we all have to join something. .a church, a sport.

Nope, not gonna,do either.

You don't have to join something, but you need to put on your big girl pants and ask someone to do something with you, like coffee, taking a walk, having a glass of wine in your kitchen, ... friends are not just going to walk up to your door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to all your OLD friends?

OP here. We've moved a lot, so old friends are scattered around the country. Most have kids so ate too encumbered to travel. When our nests are empty it will be easier to seeneach other, but for now I'd like, say, a walking friend or a coffee buddy or some friend or friendsnto kvetch with now and then. I have only DH, and he's a man! I'd like to make a few female friends.

[Anonymous]

In some ways it's more difficult because we are approaching the autumns of our careers which is the topic of a whole different thread.

But on the other hand we don't have fight and scrounge for every advancement either. We should try to be more relaxed and more forgiving of others. Doing that we can be more at peace with ourselves which can be attractive to others.

FWIW - sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't : )

[Anonymous]

Come up with an an activity that you'd like to try (running, knitting, book club, pottery class, creative writing class, etc.) and then send an email to a few woman who you know superficially (through kids or church or whatever) and say, "I am going to start x and wonder if anyone else would be interested in joining me."

Next time there is a fun event to watch on TV (next presidential debate, an awards show, etc.) invite a group of women to meet you out at a fun locale to watch and have a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

Join a club, go to the senior center and volunteer ( you will be surprised how young this will make you feel! ) There are plenty of interesting people there who would love to be your friend and you will learn a lot from them. I joined a political campaign as a full time volunteer at age 65 and made some great friends ranging in age from 30-50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Through my kids. I'm in my 50s but I have middle school and high schoolers.

Me too, but it hasn't worked. All the other parents are at least a decade younger than I am. I don't feel like I have that much in common with them.

Here's what I have in common with my friends who are 40 to 45: issues raising kids; work/family balance issues; exercise; volunteer for causes we are all interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me like we all have to join something. .a church, a sport.

Nope, not gonna,do either.

Let me ask it a different way: if you had a new friend, what would you want to do with her? Just talk, or something more?

[Anonymous]

Where do you live, maybe we can suggest something in your area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have felt like this since I graduated from college. Making friends is really, really hard for me. Usually I end up making friends with a really outgoing person who pulls me in. Mostly is is centered around my kids' activities who are the same age also teens. Offer to help another parent hosting a party, help at a back to school breakfast, you can still volunteer at school with other parents, you have kids the same age as the other people in these situations so it gives you common ground to talk about.

I have lived in DC off and on for over 16 years.
The only place I don't have friends is here. I only have acquaintances. I have also lived in Northern and Southern California. Not a problem ...

I just turned 50. Even in my 30's things were different in DC. There is this preconceived notion about what people from certain parts of the world should look and act like.
I do not fit in any mold. When I fill out any paperwork, I always have to check the "other" box.
People here do not know how to act around non diplomatic, normal "other"s, even though DC is such Cosmopolitan place.

[Anonymous]

I am 52 and have middle school aged kids. Most of my friends are the mother's of kids' friends. But, we are all busy with work and kids and rarely have time for coffee or lunch. I don't really think of friends now like I did when I was in my 20s. What free time I have, I want to spend at home relaxing alone with no kids or husband. But, if I were single with no kids at my age, I would probably be lonely. People don't seem concerned about those outside of their immediate circle of family and friends. It's sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Op, I have two new friends who were old co-workers. We kept in touch after they left and meet up for dinner a few times a year and we email, text each other sometimes.
It has been a good thing. I am about to email another retired co-worker and try to set up a lunch meet-up.
I just have bad luck in making friends with my children's parents, they are not interested in me and timing has never been on my side.

So if you have old co-workers who you been friendly with, call them or email for coffee. GL

[Anonymous]

OP here. I've been trying to reach out to people a bit more. I've been having more conversations, but have not made any friends! Ha! I don't know if that's ever going to happen here! Maybe it's because I'm in my 50s. Most of the parents of my children's friends are younger than I am, and we just don't connect, even though our children do. I've been a bit friendlier at church, at school functions, wherever I run into people. I don't feel quite so lonely, but I'd sure like to have a friend here, right in my vicinity, not in California or Texas or Minnesota! Great old friends are priceless, but you can't kvetch with them or go shopping or catch a movie or grab a drink or cup of coffee, go for a walk, etc. I'd like a friend like that, even ONE would do. I have none, here. Not one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I've been trying to reach out to people a bit more. I've been having more conversations, but have not made any friends! Ha! I don't know if that's ever going to happen here! Maybe it's because I'm in my 50s. Most of the parents of my children's friends are younger than I am, and we just don't connect, even though our children do. I've been a bit friendlier at church, at school functions, wherever I run into people. I don't feel quite so lonely, but I'd sure like to have a friend here, right in my vicinity, not in California or Texas or Minnesota! Great old friends are priceless, but you can't kvetch with them or go shopping or catch a movie or grab a drink or cup of coffee, go for a walk, etc. I'd like a friend like that, even ONE would do. I have none, here. Not one.

can you ask another mom or a neighbor to go walking for exercise? Either during the day or at night.
I've done this with several moms in my kids' school and it's led to true friendship over time.
We walk a lot between 7:30 and 9pm.

[Anonymous]

I met most of my friends through work, and via a book club a friend invited me to join. Are you interested in working part time to get out of the house? Do you do any volunteer work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to all your OLD friends?

OP here. We've moved a lot, so old friends are scattered around the country. Most have kids so ate too encumbered to travel. When our nests are empty it will be easier to seeneach other, but for now I'd like, say, a walking friend or a coffee buddy or some friend or friendsnto kvetch with now and then. I have only DH, and he's a man! I'd like to make a few female friends.

There are a ton of walking groups on Meetup,. Or put a notice in the neighborhood listserv asking if anyone is interested.