How much do men really spend on engagement rings?

[Anonymous]

Only a fool would spend two or three months salary on a ring.

[Anonymous]

OP,

First, a tip about the band: please make sure that the band is rounded and comfortable, and doesn't have sharp edges or a hollowed out center. Most cheap jewelry stores do not make good rings. Ignorant buyers often overlook this important point, and the wearer then finds the ring uncomfortable.

Another thought: I regret my beautiful diamond ring, honestly. Most diamonds are "blood diamonds", that have been obtained with forced or unethical labour and the money from which has fueled conflicts. I designed my ring myself, and DH bought the stone. Had I thought a little beyond the wedding hype, I would have asked for my favorite stone, a sapphire. DH probably wouldn't have been able to afford a star sapphire, which are more expensive than quality diamonds, but a standard-cut sapphire would have done very well.

You could look for a diamond that is certified "conflict free", although I haven't researched the certification.

[Anonymous]

What a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

...Oops, forgot to answer your question! DH paid 6K for a 1 carat, flawless diamond (I forget the rest). Loose stones prices are much less inflated than finished products. The diamond was set at a separate jeweler's, who had made the ring. When finished, my ring is absolutely indistinguishable from the 20K Cartier solitaire with a same-quality diamond - I know, I tried it on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40, and I'd estimate that most of my friends have rings in the $20k range.

40 and getting married for the first time? What's wrong with you? RUN HONEY!

We've all been married 10 or so years. Thanks though.

[Anonymous]

Op, in business school we had one class about cartels and read about how Debeers runs an international cartel to severely limit the supply so that prices stay high. There have been a few inroads made in recent years but the cartel is still driving the industry.
Diamonds are quite plentiful; why otherwise would they be so high priced ?
In the vein of the PP above, I'd suggest doing s little reading up on the cartel, sharing it with your fiancée and asking her to read up on it, and discussing whether you both would like to go against convention and get a different type of ring. (Love the sapphire idea , though that is personal to PP). And put the $ toward something more meaningful.

Obviously you want to please her so I wouldn't not get her a fancy ring without discussing with her and seeing if she was on board. I think some women get lulled into the ring hype and its a big deal.

[Anonymous]

We got engaged and married without rings. We don't need tokens of the manifest reality of our love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40, and I'd estimate that most of my friends have rings in the $20k range.

40 and getting married for the first time? What's wrong with you? RUN HONEY!

I have a friend that is 40, never engaged, never married, and he has plenty of offer. Some people have standards and stick to them.

[Anonymous]

2k vintage ring. Love the ring. Love my husband. If he spent more than 5k I would have seriously questioned his relationship with money. We spend much more on travel and we got to buy a nice house. To each his own.

[Anonymous]

Zero. Zip. Zilch. My DH didn't buy a ring and I was fine with that. I wear gloves at work and can't have any raised rings. My wedding band is an eternity ring I wear every day.
For the record, we have been married 20 years...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your range is more than enough.

My husband spent around $750 on my engagement ring and the same on the wedding band. Moissanite, which is what I wanted. I love it and you can put it side by side with a diamond and not tell the difference.

I think it's totally fine to spend more though too, just what you want. But $20k is not being cheap, so let that go. The rule is a marketing ploy.

Reading this may make you feel better... or worse. The history is fascinating.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

I was going to post a link to the same article when I started reading this thread. So, definitely +1 for that 30 year old Atlantic article about the DeBeers monopoly. I think I spent $2k about 15 years ago. Our marriage is still going strong. Don't waste your money.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35. Most of my friends rings are 7-10K at the top end. Anything more is crazy. We are all professionals by the way who got engaged around 26/27. I don't even wear mine now.

[Anonymous]

Mine was $3500 fifteen tears ago and that was plenty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, in business school we had one class about cartels and read about how Debeers runs an international cartel to severely limit the supply so that prices stay high. There have been a few inroads made in recent years but the cartel is still driving the industry.
Diamonds are quite plentiful; why otherwise would they be so high priced ?
In the vein of the PP above, I'd suggest doing s little reading up on the cartel, sharing it with your fiancée and asking her to read up on it, and discussing whether you both would like to go against convention and get a different type of ring. (Love the sapphire idea , though that is personal to PP). And put the $ toward something more meaningful.

Obviously you want to please her so I wouldn't not get her a fancy ring without discussing with her and seeing if she was on board. I think some women get lulled into the ring hype and its a big deal.

Spot on!

One of the most successful advertising slogans was by De Beers: "A Diamond is Forever" suggesting that like the diamond the love that comes with that diamond will last forever!

[Anonymous]

Mine spent more than I would have preferred, probably around $9k for the engagement ring and wedding band as a set. I told him before he bought it I'd be happy with something simple and much less expensive.