Pregnant and husband has been sleeping with intern

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, not a troll. True story. I didn't see the sex part coming. He's been doing the online stuff for a decade, and I honestly didn't realize it would escalate. Now of course I'm looking back and wondering which of those women he actually slept with, but I've never seen any evidence he actually did.

I don't really know what it is to be a sex addict. I do think he has a compulsion that he fails to control, but to call it an addiction would suggest that it's out of his hands, and I don't really believe that.

Some people make open marriages work. Is it so crazy to consider?

Is it the model you want to be for your kids? Is that how you want to exemplify a loving, respectful romantic relationship to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, not a troll. True story. I didn't see the sex part coming. He's been doing the online stuff for a decade, and I honestly didn't realize it would escalate. Now of course I'm looking back and wondering which of those women he actually slept with, but I've never seen any evidence he actually did.

I don't really know what it is to be a sex addict. I do think he has a compulsion that he fails to control, but to call it an addiction would suggest that it's out of his hands, and I don't really believe that.

Some people make open marriages work. Is it so crazy to consider?

No, not at all. It could be the path that restores trust in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

He is a sex (or love) addict. There's no way (yet) to know if he can heal. He needs specialized counseling with a therapist who specializes in this disorder. SAA can help too.

But if he's not actively pursuing recovery, you need to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, not a troll. True story. I didn't see the sex part coming. He's been doing the online stuff for a decade, and I honestly didn't realize it would escalate. Now of course I'm looking back and wondering which of those women he actually slept with, but I've never seen any evidence he actually did.

I don't really know what it is to be a sex addict. I do think he has a compulsion that he fails to control, but to call it an addiction would suggest that it's out of his hands, and I don't really believe that.

Some people make open marriages work. Is it so crazy to consider?

I'm 22:03. You're in denial. What's so different between a "compulsion that he fails to control" and an "addiction"? Do you hear yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, not a troll. True story. I didn't see the sex part coming. He's been doing the online stuff for a decade, and I honestly didn't realize it would escalate. Now of course I'm looking back and wondering which of those women he actually slept with, but I've never seen any evidence he actually did.

I don't really know what it is to be a sex addict. I do think he has a compulsion that he fails to control, but to call it an addiction would suggest that it's out of his hands, and I don't really believe that.

Some people make open marriages work. Is it so crazy to consider?

Is it the model you want to be for your kids? Is that how you want to exemplify a loving, respectful romantic relationship to them?

NP here. Ridiculous. Why would the kids know???

[Anonymous]

I'm going to take a slightly different tack from other posters. It sounds to me like you gave him a green light to do whatever he wanted. Unless you were really explicit about the bounds of his hall pass, I'm not sure its fair to blame him here. I'm sure there are many people that would be fine with an open marriage -- the first question is whether you're one of them. I suspect you're not, because of how disgusted you say you are with him. If that's the case, then the next question is whether he really can't/won't control this, or whether he just was under the misunderstanding that you had an open relationship, and that you might appreciate (or at least understand) his taking care of himself while you were not feeling well.

Frankly, I"m a little more worried about your statement that you're worried about co-parenting. Parenting is hard as hell. I think you need to figure out what you're worried about, and really whether you think your kids are better off with him in the home or out. Once you have those twins, you'll probably be too tired for sex anyway, so you might not mind him finding another intern, so long as he helps you with the night feedings and diapers. (But, hello, he needs to be more careful about who he sleeps with -- he's going to end up fired and then where will you all be?)

[Anonymous]

I feel like OP is probably the wife of "Livid DH" who was apoplectic she'd opened his mail from the insurance broker...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nope, not a troll. True story. I didn't see the sex part coming. He's been doing the online stuff for a decade, and I honestly didn't realize it would escalate. Now of course I'm looking back and wondering which of those women he actually slept with, but I've never seen any evidence he actually did.

I don't really know what it is to be a sex addict. I do think he has a compulsion that he fails to control, but to call it an addiction would suggest that it's out of his hands, and I don't really believe that.

Some people make open marriages work. Is it so crazy to consider?

Is it the model you want to be for your kids? Is that how you want to exemplify a loving, respectful romantic relationship to them?

NP here. Ridiculous. Why would the kids know???

They always know.

[Anonymous]

Your first issue is that you sucked him off three times a week even though you didnt feel like having sex. So your relationship was never on equal footing, you were always babying his lack of sexual control.

I say DTMFA. Find someone who doesnt demand constant sex like you're a robot. But I doubt you will take the advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know a few girls who stayed with their cheating husbands. You would not be the first.

Caring for a baby is a lot of work. Twins will be double the work. Even if you try living together while separated, I would try to work it out for the sake of your kids.

DH did not cheat on me but I am unhappily married. I actually posted about disliking my husband and how we were roommates who coparented. I don't think we are the only parents who have a rocky marriage and staying in it for the kids. Some days are better than others but one thing is for sure - we love our kids and love seeing them everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll, or are you really that much of an idiot? I vote troll...

Nope, I vote idiot because I know a woman who stayed with a husband just like OP's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a troll, or are you really that much of an idiot? I vote troll...

Nope, I vote idiot because I know a woman who stayed with a husband just like OP's

Some women don't have the financial resources to just leave. I would not be able to pay for my mortgage and childcare without DH since he is the breadwinner.

DH did not cheat on me but we have different marital problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like OP is probably the wife of "Livid DH" who was apoplectic she'd opened his mail from the insurance broker...

Ha! No, but I read that. He sounds a lot crazier than my husband to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like OP is probably the wife of "Livid DH" who was apoplectic she'd opened his mail from the insurance broker...

Ha! No, but I read that. He sounds a lot crazier than my husband to me.

Can someone post the link?

[Anonymous]

True story. Nurse friend had affair with married Doctor. Got pregnant and married him after divorce. Twenty years later he gets nurse pregnant. Next wife just steps in to place. None of this is surprising. You should not be surprised.