Has anyone here successfully terminated spousal support?

[Anonymous]

Add up what you'll have to pay for next 4 years. Compare to the 50K you already spent in lawyers and likely would to fight this. Imagine paying that on top of the 4 additional years if you lose.

I totally get that it's unfair. She's a freeloader. But I think you are likely to burn too much more $$$ fighting this now with little chance of prevailing.

You're in the downhill stretch of getting her out of your life forever and ever. I'd just coast unless you have more money to burn.

[Anonymous]

I've got no experience in this, but I don't think you simply saying (as opposed to you presenting evidence) that she's cohabitating will then shift the burden to her to prove that she isn't. I think you would have to present evidence that she could then refute.

Agree with PPs
1) run your numbers, taking into account the tax benefit of the deduction
If you come out ahead, then contact a pi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My stepfathers divorce decree stated alimony until his ex wife remarried. She turned lesbian. He tried and tried and tried to go back to court and no judge would overturn the original decree. He was paying for years!

Hah! That argument won't work anymore. Another reason to support gay marriage!

[Anonymous]

If you have zero contact with her or anyone who knows her, how do you know she's currently living with someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have zero contact with her or anyone who knows her, how do you know she's currently living with someone?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have zero contact with her or anyone who knows her, how do you know she's currently living with someone?

+1

Sorry. I should have said zero direct contact. One of my siblings goes to church with my ex's coworkers. The coworker said my ex talks openly about her boyfriend and living arrangement openly in the office on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have zero contact with her or anyone who knows her, how do you know she's currently living with someone?

+1

Sorry. I should have said zero direct contact. One of my siblings goes to church with my ex's coworkers. The coworker said my ex talks openly about her boyfriend and living arrangement openly in the office on a regular basis.

Yeah, go ahead and take that to court. I'm sure the judge will be very impressed by your game of telephone.

[Anonymous]

The good thing is that ten years will be over before you realize it.

After that, you'll probably have a decent career and the rest of your life as an independent adult to look forward to.

Eventually, she will be forced to find someone attach herself to, which she will find increasingly difficult as she ages. It sounds like she is not bothering to get any real career together, likely because it's easier to continue her parasitical ways. Don't be surprised if she tries to hatch some scheme to get you to continue to pay after the ten years are up.

The best revenge is to be happy and successful in your own life. Now, go on and hit the gym, get buff, and go forth and marry a much-younger woman (get a prenup).

[Anonymous]

It's absurd that a ten year, childless, marriage should result in alimony. Shame on your ex and anyone who even tries to defend it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The good thing is that ten years will be over before you realize it.

After that, you'll probably have a decent career and the rest of your life as an independent adult to look forward to.

Eventually, she will be forced to find someone attach herself to, which she will find increasingly difficult as she ages. It sounds like she is not bothering to get any real career together, likely because it's easier to continue her parasitical ways. Don't be surprised if she tries to hatch some scheme to get you to continue to pay after the ten years are up.

The best revenge is to be happy and successful in your own life. Now, go on and hit the gym, get buff, and go forth and marry a much-younger woman (get a prenup).

OP is probably leaving an important detail out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's absurd that a ten year, childless, marriage should result in alimony. Shame on your ex and anyone who even tries to defend it.

We have one side of the story. Odds are she has one also. I'm not going to defend her because I have no basis, but I'm also not going to judge her based on the biased account of a bitter ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have zero contact with her or anyone who knows her, how do you know she's currently living with someone?

+1

Sorry. I should have said zero direct contact. One of my siblings goes to church with my ex's coworkers. The coworker said my ex talks openly about her boyfriend and living arrangement openly in the office on a regular basis.

Yeah, go ahead and take that to court. I'm sure the judge will be very impressed by your game of telephone.

Op here. Obviously. I'm not that stupid. I realize I need concrete proof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's absurd that a ten year, childless, marriage should result in alimony. Shame on your ex and anyone who even tries to defend it.

Op here. That's exactly where I am coming from. A 38 yr old healthy woman has no real need to be supported, other than her own laziness.
If there were children involved or she was at an age that she could not support herself, fine. But this was neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's absurd that a ten year, childless, marriage should result in alimony. Shame on your ex and anyone who even tries to defend it.

Op here. That's exactly where I am coming from. A 38 yr old healthy woman has no real need to be supported, other than her own laziness.
If there were children involved or she was at an age that she could not support herself, fine. But this was neither.

Did you move for your job? Keep strange hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good thing is that ten years will be over before you realize it.

After that, you'll probably have a decent career and the rest of your life as an independent adult to look forward to.

Eventually, she will be forced to find someone attach herself to, which she will find increasingly difficult as she ages. It sounds like she is not bothering to get any real career together, likely because it's easier to continue her parasitical ways. Don't be surprised if she tries to hatch some scheme to get you to continue to pay after the ten years are up.

The best revenge is to be happy and successful in your own life. Now, go on and hit the gym, get buff, and go forth and marry a much-younger woman (get a prenup).

OP is probably leaving an important detail out

Op here. Not one that I can think of. I've already remarried, have a beautiful little girl and career. I've rebuilt my life. Not bitter, just don't want to pay for something that I shouldn't have to pay for. The fact that she sneaks and hides is just weird. Go be happy and move on with your life.