Reply to Feel Bad For You...Your DH is a cheat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know a man who owns a local and very successful bar. My friends and I go in there from time to time. I know of his wife only because I'm FB friends with him. She gushes from time to time what a wonderful guy he is, most recently was today about fathers day.  Yea right. The guy is a total dog and should never be married.

I have to wonder...don't these women know in the back of their minds that these men are pratically da ting othet women? Are they blindsided  when they find out? When he first came onto me I asked him if he was in an open relationship thinking that maybe she's all good with his side activities. To his credit he was like oh hell no, she'd leave me if she found out. I keep him at a friends distance because I don't need that kind of drama. Just knowing him for a few years, I can't imagine how she doesn't know.

I see women post on here about how they are shocked to learn that their husbands have been cheating. Really?? How the hell does that creep up on you? It takes a lot of investment in unaccounted for time to cheat on someone.[/quote]

I don't know, I was cheated on and I often ask myself this question.  IT's horrible, when you suddenly realize how bamboozled you were.  I can't tell you to this day if it was something I DID figure out subconsciously and chose not to pay attention, or if I really, honestly didn't fathom he would ever do it, so I didn't need to make any excuses.  He played the role I wanted him to play, and treated me the way I wanted to be treated... so maybe I just didn't look.  Also, he was SO torn about deciding to get married, it was a shit or get off the pot scenario and he finally popped question. I naively thought that meant he'd done his due diligence with the decision, but now realize it just meant he wanted his cake and to eat it too.

I will say, that once I realize there was no fairy tale for me, it was rough initially, but I like life better now.  I've written here about how I've opened wide to the flaws of others and to my own flaws.  I'm so much less judgy and never expect anyone to not pull the rug out.  Sounds scary perhaps, but it's actually quite freeing.  Anyone can hurt you, anyone can die, so focus right now.  It's really helped me be a better person.    I feel bad for your "friend" but also for the dog, it's their path to walk.[/quote]

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