I hate date nights

[Anonymous]

When our kids were little, I RESENTED date nights because even though they're supposed to be fun, I was the one who had to:
a. book the sitter
b. make a reservation
c. feed the kids
d. get cash for parking, etc.
Hubby showed up. That's it.
Then he complained about how expensive the meal was.
And suggested that he was fulfilling some sort of obligation by showing up. Doing me a favor.

Eventually I realized that he really wanted to do me a favor, he'd let me go to Target by myself and skip the date night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our kids were little, I RESENTED date nights because even though they're supposed to be fun, I was the one who had to:
a. book the sitter
b. make a reservation
c. feed the kids
d. get cash for parking, etc.
Hubby showed up. That's it.
Then he complained about how expensive the meal was.
And suggested that he was fulfilling some sort of obligation by showing up. Doing me a favor.

Eventually I realized that he really wanted to do me a favor, he'd let me go to Target by myself and skip the date night.

I so agree.

I dont like Miley Cyrus but I agreed with her when she recently talked about being sad because she was in a restaurant and:
"'All the women in the restaurant were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go,' said Cyrus.
'They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time.
Miley added, 'And I thought, "I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f***ing slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.'"


Men need to step their game up. It's not cutting it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the "idea" of date nights. It's another thing to "do" instead of just being something to enjoy. What ever happened to just making going out and having fun together without kids and without expectations. Not every meal together needs to be this crazy romantic gesture. Sometimes, just spending time together is fine and good and enough. Sometimes even going out isn't necessary. I'll take a glass of wine on the deck after the kids are sleeping.

Why not have both? My DH and I do.

Does it have to be one of the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I so agree.

I dont like Miley Cyrus but I agreed with her when she recently talked about being sad because she was in a restaurant and:
"'All the women in the restaurant were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go,' said Cyrus.
'They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time.
Miley added, 'And I thought, "I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f***ing slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.'"


Men need to step their game up. It's not cutting it.

+1. It's definitely a good idea to take your cues from the wisdom of Miley Cyrus and her relationship observations. (Men are fat drunk bastards, while women are trying their best to look good.) I see nothing but positives coming from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I so agree.

I dont like Miley Cyrus but I agreed with her when she recently talked about being sad because she was in a restaurant and:
"'All the women in the restaurant were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go,' said Cyrus.
'They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time.
Miley added, 'And I thought, "I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f***ing slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.'"


Men need to step their game up. It's not cutting it.

+1. It's definitely a good idea to take your cues from the wisdom of Miley Cyrus and her relationship observations. (Men are fat drunk bastards, while women are trying their best to look good.) I see nothing but positives coming from that.

Sure, focus on the fact that it's Miley Cyrus and not the content of the quote itself. That's super intelligent...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I so agree.

I dont like Miley Cyrus but I agreed with her when she recently talked about being sad because she was in a restaurant and:
"'All the women in the restaurant were with these older, fat men that had just let themselves go,' said Cyrus.
'They were just being drunk bastards. And then the women were sitting there, trying so hard just to look good. And they’re ignoring them the whole time.
Miley added, 'And I thought, "I’m not living like this. If I end up in a straight relationship, that’s fine—but I’m not going to be with f***ing slob guys who are watching porn, making all their girls feel ugly.'"


Men need to step their game up. It's not cutting it.

+1. It's definitely a good idea to take your cues from the wisdom of Miley Cyrus and her relationship observations. (Men are fat drunk bastards, while women are trying their best to look good.) I see nothing but positives coming from that.

Sure, focus on the fact that it's Miley Cyrus and not the content of the quote itself. That's super intelligent...

You mean the quote where she says that all the women in the restaurant looking good but were stuck with fat drunk bastards who didn't appreciate them? I can't imagine why someone wouldn't take that seriously.

[Anonymous]

You don't have to take it seriously, but plenty of women are noticing that trend. it's not just an isolated scene in a restaurant.

It's about male entitlement and women who are expected to be perfect at all times.

You can pooh pooh that idea all you want. But feminism is making major inroads in our culture. The times they are a changin!

[Anonymous]

Date night can be coffee and browsing at the bookstore. Going for a walk in the city and then getting a drink. Going for a drive. Getting ice cream cones and watching the river. Do casual things, not just Romantic Dinners for Two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew to hate date nights too. Because I was starved for sex and developed an expectation that they would lead to sex. When they didn't, I got resentful.

I started liking them again when we had sex before the date, then I could enjoy the date without worrying about sex.

Seriously? People worry about sex?? Why not just ask for sex after the date? This is so weird.

Because we get up with our kids between 5 and 5:30 in the morning. Sex ain't happening after 8pm. One of us is always too tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew to hate date nights too. Because I was starved for sex and developed an expectation that they would lead to sex. When they didn't, I got resentful.

I started liking them again when we had sex before the date, then I could enjoy the date without worrying about sex.

If you have sex before the date, why the need to even go on the date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When our kids were little, I RESENTED date nights because even though they're supposed to be fun, I was the one who had to:
a. book the sitter
b. make a reservation
c. feed the kids
d. get cash for parking, etc.
Hubby showed up. That's it.
Then he complained about how expensive the meal was.
And suggested that he was fulfilling some sort of obligation by showing up. Doing me a favor.

Eventually I realized that he really wanted to do me a favor, he'd let me go to Target by myself and skip the date night.

You didn't resent date nights -- you resented your husband, because your husband was treating you terribly. Hope that he wised up that he was fucking up badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew to hate date nights too. Because I was starved for sex and developed an expectation that they would lead to sex. When they didn't, I got resentful.

I started liking them again when we had sex before the date, then I could enjoy the date without worrying about sex.

If you have sex before the date, why the need to even go on the date?

What are you, 12? You go on the date 'even' after the sex because it can be fun to eat tasty food and get tipsy with someone you really like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew to hate date nights too. Because I was starved for sex and developed an expectation that they would lead to sex. When they didn't, I got resentful.

I started liking them again when we had sex before the date, then I could enjoy the date without worrying about sex.

If you have sex before the date, why the need to even go on the date?

What are you, 12? You go on the date 'even' after the sex because it can be fun to eat tasty food and get tipsy with someone you really like.

Right. This is SOP for us, especially when we travel. Have the sex first, then enjoy the eating and drinking together. Fat and bloated sex is overrated and who wants to hold back on the eating and drinking? Have the sex first, eat and drink what you want, and don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew to hate date nights too. Because I was starved for sex and developed an expectation that they would lead to sex. When they didn't, I got resentful.

I started liking them again when we had sex before the date, then I could enjoy the date without worrying about sex.

Seriously? People worry about sex?? Why not just ask for sex after the date? This is so weird.

Because we get up with our kids between 5 and 5:30 in the morning. Sex ain't happening after 8pm. One of us is always too tired.

I feel people who say they are too tired for sex use it as a copout.

I can be cranky, tired, not in the mood...but once you start that all slips away because its sex

[Anonymous]

I hate date night. Too expensive, DH has terrible table manners so I have to watch all that expensive food being chewed up, and then he expects sex even though he's been gross all night and made me stay up 2 hours past my preferred bedtime. Then I am tired the next day.

I would MUCH prefer to get a weekend morning babysitter, go out to brunch and then get back in bed.