What do men think of women who have ONS?

[Anonymous]

Dude here. It's fine. Have fun.

[Anonymous]

OP here. To the question of my type.. I like 28-38 year old, dark hair, hot, tall ( 5'9 - 6'4), white, good body, non-smoker, sense of humor, and hopefully, nice package! I'm not a supermodel but get nice compliments. I'm white, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, 5'2, and 115lbs. I have a big butt and I'm busty. I don't think most men would have a problem finding me attractive, especially for casual sex. Hope that helps!

[Anonymous]

^^

Calling bull. If the above is true then you should already know how to meet men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^

Calling bull. If the above is true then you should already know how to meet men.

Not bull. I'm new here and do not know the area. I'm a nanny and that adds to a lot of isolation. I do not drink and do not know anyone here yet. I've had child physical/sexual abuse happen when I was younger. I'm shy and sometimes introverted because of the damages my childhood caused. I've only had two boyfriends, both of which were back home and brothers of my friends. I'm not the type of woman who goes out looking for male attention. Say what you want but this is real.

[Anonymous]

There will be guys that will dump you (or not date you) if you've had too many partners (or they were ONS or casual). Yes even today.

But you have to ask yourself if you would want to marry a guy who judge (and reject) a woman because of her sex life.

Plus it is just good policy to never tell a guy your number and don't ever ask for his!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will be guys that will dump you (or not date you) if you've had too many partners (or they were ONS or casual). Yes even today.

But you have to ask yourself if you would want to marry a guy who judge (and reject) a woman because of her sex life.

Plus it is just good policy to never tell a guy your number and don't ever ask for his!!

I'm not looking to sleep with many of guys. I'm only looking for 1-2 casual partners. The would bring my total to 3/4. I don't think that is high fir a woman my age.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it's smart to consider the future ramifications of your actions. Too many people don't. So good for you for that - it will serve you well in life.

That said - do you think men out there are thinking "If I have a couple of flings, will a nice girl still marry me?" Nope. They're not. Do what feels comfortable for you. You don't NEED any more sexual experience to have a fulfilled life or happy relationship down the line. Plenty of virgins marry and do just fine. That said, if you WANT to try a couple of other partners, go for it. Just choose smartly (like you said, no one married or in a relationship, always practice safe sex, no one who could have a potential impact on your career, and probably not more than one guy from a specific friend group that you would like to remain in contact with long-term, because then you may get a bit of a reputation). If you wouldn't want to marry a guy who had slept with 100+ women, don't sleep with 100+ men. If you're OK with a guy who had a couple of casual flings in his past, that (eventual) guy should be OK with your history too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^

Calling bull. If the above is true then you should already know how to meet men.

It has to be bull. Big butt and busty must be code for grossly obese and shes lying about her weight.

[Anonymous]

I think this post is fake, but I'll respond in case someone in a similar situation reads it.

You do not want to marry a man with so many sexual hang ups that he would vilify you for normal experimentation. Life is too short for that shit.

[Anonymous]

If you are honest and tell them, don't be surprised when you learn that a lot of men don't like it. That's not who they want to marry.

What you should be thinking about at 26 is finding a husband and starting a family, not "dating around".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^

Calling bull. If the above is true then you should already know how to meet men.

It has to be bull. Big butt and busty must be code for grossly obese and shes lying about her weight.

I'm not fat at all. Women can be busty and not be fat. All the women in my are C chested. I don't have a kim k. Ass but my butt is nice for a white woman.

To be other person. Thanks for the response. I am only in Dc until August so I don't she to worry too much of reputation here. I actually met a guy last night at a gym. I think I'm good for now. I know many likely feel fine being virgins or whatever, but I feel I want more. I want to have that experimentations and adventure. Thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are honest and tell them, don't be surprised when you learn that a lot of men don't like it. That's not who they want to marry.

What you should be thinking about at 26 is finding a husband and starting a family, not "dating around".

Why should I think about finding a husband at my age? Plenty of people are getting married later in life and having families later. I do not want to get married or having a family yet. Who are you to say that..? There is nothing wrong with still dating at 26. Plenty of people are not even close to settling down at 26.

[Anonymous]

I guess I wonder what has happened that has made you now want to go out and have casual sex with people. I say this as someone who has a history of sexual abuse as well.

If you truly feel free and liberated and what-have-you, then go for it! BUT....if actually you are lonely....and what you really want is some kind of emotional/physical connection, someone to take care of you in the way you take care of others for your job....I wonder if you are not aiming for casual sex because it seems "safer" in the sense that it would not involve having to trust someone, and risk having them betray that trust as has happened before.

Again, I am not opposed to casual sex but for people with a history of abuse, it can be more fraught. Some people think they are OK with casual sex and yet find that, actually, there is an expectation of love and affection. And when that is not there they feel crushed. I worry you might get into a situation that might replicate some of your past dynamics. Or maybe you feel that a person wouldn't really like you for you, so you are just going to aim for sex, and not ask for anything more, so you will not be disappointed. Or maybe you feel to have sex with someone and not to plan anything more with them puts you in a position of power, like you are using them and that way you will not be hurt yourself?

I hope you will look for someone who really likes you for you, not just for sex, and go slowly. I mean, you are asking DCUM what men will think of women who engage in one night stands. You really should be asking yourself what you think, not basing your life on what you think other people want/expect of you.

[Anonymous]

I never had a ONS and I would not have married a woman who had a bunch of ONS. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but that's not what I wanted in a wife or the mother of my kids. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I wonder what has happened that has made you now want to go out and have casual sex with people. I say this as someone who has a history of sexual abuse as well.

If you truly feel free and liberated and what-have-you, then go for it! BUT....if actually you are lonely....and what you really want is some kind of emotional/physical connection, someone to take care of you in the way you take care of others for your job....I wonder if you are not aiming for casual sex because it seems "safer" in the sense that it would not involve having to trust someone, and risk having them betray that trust as has happened before.

Again, I am not opposed to casual sex but for people with a history of abuse, it can be more fraught. Some people think they are OK with casual sex and yet find that, actually, there is an expectation of love and affection. And when that is not there they feel crushed. I worry you might get into a situation that might replicate some of your past dynamics. Or maybe you feel that a person wouldn't really like you for you, so you are just going to aim for sex, and not ask for anything more, so you will not be disappointed. Or maybe you feel to have sex with someone and not to plan anything more with them puts you in a position of power, like you are using them and that way you will not be hurt yourself?

I hope you will look for someone who really likes you for you, not just for sex, and go slowly. I mean, you are asking DCUM what men will think of women who engage in one night stands. You really should be asking yourself what you think, not basing your life on what you think other people want/expect of you.

Thank you thank you. This was really nice. To answer specific questions, I am not doing this out of loneliness or fear of a man not liking me for anything deeper than sex. I have been seeing a great therapist and resolved a lot of issues. Im ready to venture out an conquer things and live life. This is not just with sex. It's partying, going out more, and everything you should be doing in your 20's. I've been so introverted for a long time that I feel I've missed out on so much of that phase. I do not want to be 40 and regret not having lived a little and experienced all this. I guess I feel a sense of confidence and freedom now that I'm single and have dealt with core issues.

I'm not looking for a relationship. Both bfs were two year relationships and introverted, too. I do worry about falling for a casual fling but I rarely trust and become emotional ( which I'm working on). Most importantly, I like sex. I fantasize about having casual flings and new men all the time. My reason is not feeling liked I missed out and pure sexual gratification from different partners.