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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I wonder what has happened that has made you now want to go out and have casual sex with people. I say this as someone who has a history of sexual abuse as well.

If you truly feel free and liberated and what-have-you, then go for it! BUT....if actually you are lonely....and what you really want is some kind of emotional/physical connection, someone to take care of you in the way you take care of others for your job....I wonder if you are not aiming for casual sex because it seems "safer" in the sense that it would not involve having to trust someone, and risk having them betray that trust as has happened before.
 
Again, I am not opposed to casual sex but for people with a history of abuse, it can be more fraught. Some people think they are OK with casual sex and yet find that, actually, there is an expectation of love and affection. And when that is not there they feel crushed. I worry you might get into a situation that might replicate some of your past dynamics. Or maybe you feel that a person wouldn't really like you for you, so you are just going to aim for sex, and not ask for anything more, so you will not be disappointed. Or maybe you feel to have sex with someone and not to plan anything more with them puts you in a position of power, like you are using them and that way you will not be hurt yourself?

I hope you will look for someone who really likes you for you, not just for sex, and go slowly. I mean, you are asking DCUM what men will think of women who engage in one night stands. You really should be asking yourself what you think, not basing your life on what you think other people want/expect of you. [/quote]

Thank you thank you. This was really nice. To answer specific questions, I am not doing this out of loneliness or fear of a man not liking me for anything deeper than sex. I have been seeing a great therapist and resolved a lot of issues. Im ready to venture out an conquer things and live life. This is not just with sex. It's partying, going out more, and everything you should be doing in your 20's. I've been so introverted for a long time that I feel I've missed out on so much of that phase. I do not want to be 40 and regret not having lived a little and experienced all this. I guess I feel a sense of confidence and freedom now that I'm single and have dealt with core issues.

I'm not looking for a relationship. Both bfs were two year relationships and introverted, too. I do worry about falling for a casual fling but I rarely trust and become emotional ( which I'm working on). Most importantly, I like sex. I fantasize about having casual flings and new men all the time. My reason is not feeling liked I missed out and pure sexual gratification from different partners. [/quote]

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