Is anyone stuck in a marriage with a "friend?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not married to my best friend. I'm married to some bitch who takes me for granted.

Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not married to my best friend. I'm married to some bitch who takes me for granted.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Here is yet another thread about how rare for happiness in a long term monogamous marriage.
Seems like the majority of us would be better off never marrying, or an open marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is yet another thread about how rare for happiness in a long term monogamous marriage.
Seems like the majority of us would be better off never marrying, or an open marriage.

Yeah, the happily married folks don't waste time and energy on forums like this. They're off enjoying their spouses, marriages, and families.

[Anonymous]

For real! I'm very happily married and I never post on here. I come and read it every now and then to remind me how awesome my DH is

[Anonymous]

Count yourself lucky if your husband is even still your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I htink I am in that marriage now. I don't leave becauase I know that MOST marriages end up in the friend zone. I had several long term relationships before marriage and the passion always cools to some extent, especially with kids. The worst is when the passion cools and you realize that you don't even want to be friends. We have a good enough marriage for now with a young kid.

You must have a medium to low sex drive. I won't let the passion cool too much in my marriage because I value that part of my life.

This
Plus , passion and romance ebb and flow . The foundation of my marriage is our friendship and trust and shared spirituality.
We have kids and we have passion . Sometimes it's more kids than passion. Sometimes we cannot wait to get the kids out of the house or to sleep so we can enjoy the passion. Other times you look at each other and think "WTH" !!
Then it all comes back around, you enjoy the friendship, the shared jokes and or activities. Maybe you do something he likes , and you don't , just to put a smile on his face. Maybe he does the same for you. You have a fight, but you don't walk away, because you remember that you have been here before and that this too shall pass. He is your friend and you have walked done some of life's roughest roads together and that means something.
Marriage is a commitment, a covenant, not a romance. It just had romance and passion thrown in.

[Anonymous]

Married women: have affairs more often!

[Anonymous]

OP, I have this massive garden.

It's beautiful at the peak of summer, all colors and different textures, butterflies and birds.
In winter, it's kind of plain, with the shapes and some colour from the perennial shrubs and plants.

Every year, the perennials come up, without fail. I don't do much with them, save dividing them when they need. Maybe a dead head here and there. Water them, don't water them, there they are - year after year, without fail. They're green and decent enough, they fill the garden and provide a backdrop.

What really is cool is the annuals I plant. They come in a million and one colors, they have the coolest textures and smells and I can change them out year after year. But, they need a lot of work. I have to deadhead them constantly so they don't seed and become leggy. I have to water them constantly because their roots don't really take hold. But I adore them, and they're the flashiest part of my garden. They make me ooh and aah, and they are just so awesome.

It's easy to forget that without my perennials, I wouldn't have much of a garden. They're the backbone, but they're always there, even if I kind of leave them on the back burner.


If I want the flash of the annuals, I have to work for it. Some years, I have the time and patience to start them from seed and it's nice to see them grow before they go in the garden. And they come up in a blaze of colour and make me grin ear to ear.

Other years, I just go to the garden center and plunk them in. Same joy, less work. But I still have to go buy them, plant them, tend them.

Point is: you want the colour and flash, you have to work at it. You need to plant the seeds, or dig the plants in. Some things need constant tending and work to flourish. I wouldn't have annuals unless I went through the time and effort to have and keep them. They don't come back like the perennials do, unless they get planted. You can't take annuals for granted, because they're fleeting if you don't take care of them.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure I understand this post.

How can anything ever be "too late" for someone?

It is never too late to do what you want to. We live in a free country, not a dictatorship or Communist one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have this massive garden.

It's beautiful at the peak of summer, all colors and different textures, butterflies and birds.
In winter, it's kind of plain, with the shapes and some colour from the perennial shrubs and plants.

Every year, the perennials come up, without fail. I don't do much with them, save dividing them when they need. Maybe a dead head here and there. Water them, don't water them, there they are - year after year, without fail. They're green and decent enough, they fill the garden and provide a backdrop.

What really is cool is the annuals I plant. They come in a million and one colors, they have the coolest textures and smells and I can change them out year after year. But, they need a lot of work. I have to deadhead them constantly so they don't seed and become leggy. I have to water them constantly because their roots don't really take hold. But I adore them, and they're the flashiest part of my garden. They make me ooh and aah, and they are just so awesome.

It's easy to forget that without my perennials, I wouldn't have much of a garden. They're the backbone, but they're always there, even if I kind of leave them on the back burner.


If I want the flash of the annuals, I have to work for it. Some years, I have the time and patience to start them from seed and it's nice to see them grow before they go in the garden. And they come up in a blaze of colour and make me grin ear to ear.

Other years, I just go to the garden center and plunk them in. Same joy, less work. But I still have to go buy them, plant them, tend them.

Point is: you want the colour and flash, you have to work at it. You need to plant the seeds, or dig the plants in. Some things need constant tending and work to flourish. I wouldn't have annuals unless I went through the time and effort to have and keep them. They don't come back like the perennials do, unless they get planted. You can't take annuals for granted, because they're fleeting if you don't take care of them.

Should have added: some years, I forget or am too busy for annuals altogether. My garden still grows, but it takes on a different character. But, I still have a garden. And, if it's late, I can still plant some late season mums, or get a basket or two. And spring will come and I can work at it again. It's never too late to fix and make something better, if you want some flourish.

[SammyJ]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not married to my best friend. I'm married to some bitch who takes me for granted.

+1 on that taken for granted part. It sucks here

[Anonymous]

Being stuck in a marriage with a friend is better than being stuck in a marriage with an enemy. Think about that.

[SammyJ]

Anonymous wrote:Being stuck in a marriage with a friend is better than being stuck in a marriage with an enemy. Think about that.

Very true. I love DH but I miss having amazing adult fun

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DWs are largely to be blamed. It is your fault so live with it!

You marry the guy just because you think this is your best chance at a stable relationship and kids, instead of marrying the guy for HIM.

Marry someone for THEM, not for anything else and then you will be happy.

I did marry the guy for him. It's 13 years later. Not much passion left in our relationship. He's largely a friend. That's life.

Marry someone who you can't get enough of; the person who you could spend the whole day looking in their eyes and being around them; the person whose faults turn you on instead of turns you off. When you do that, time or kids will NEVER change that connection because that is NATURAL. That is the marriage that ticks all the boxes, and there a quite a few out there.

Too many ppl settled for other things, and are now reaping the consequences....sorry to say but everything you post indicate you are one of them. Too many women allow the hormones from their biological clock to trick them into thinking this is the one. Obviously after kids you realize you made a mistake and he wasn't. Then you spend the rest of your time forcing it to be something it is not.

You married your FWB, not your life lover.

Good luck in your future decisions.