Is anyone stuck in a marriage with a "friend?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DWs are largely to be blamed. It is your fault so live with it!

You marry the guy just because you think this is your best chance at a stable relationship and kids, instead of marrying the guy for HIM.

Marry someone for THEM, not for anything else and then you will be happy.

I did marry the guy for him. It's 13 years later. Not much passion left in our relationship. He's largely a friend. That's life.

Marry someone who you can't get enough of; the person who you could spend the whole day looking in their eyes and being around them; the person whose faults turn you on instead of turns you off. When you do that, time or kids will NEVER change that connection because that is NATURAL. That is the marriage that ticks all the boxes, and there a quite a few out there.

Too many ppl settled for other things, and are now reaping the consequences....sorry to say but everything you post indicate you are one of them. Too many women allow the hormones from their biological clock to trick them into thinking this is the one. Obviously after kids you realize you made a mistake and he wasn't. Then you spend the rest of your time forcing it to be something it is not.

You married your FWB, not your life lover.
Good luck in your future decisions.

Really? I think that's la la landish! If that is the case then there would be no divorces in Hollywood, NO???
So PP, are YOU in the "few out there" if not I think you are nuts~

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DWs are largely to be blamed. It is your fault so live with it!

You marry the guy just because you think this is your best chance at a stable relationship and kids, instead of marrying the guy for HIM.

Marry someone for THEM, not for anything else and then you will be happy.

I did marry the guy for him. It's 13 years later. Not much passion left in our relationship. He's largely a friend. That's life.

Marry someone who you can't get enough of; the person who you could spend the whole day looking in their eyes and being around them; the person whose faults turn you on instead of turns you off. When you do that, time or kids will NEVER change that connection because that is NATURAL. That is the marriage that ticks all the boxes, and there a quite a few out there.

Too many ppl settled for other things, and are now reaping the consequences....sorry to say but everything you post indicate you are one of them. Too many women allow the hormones from their biological clock to trick them into thinking this is the one. Obviously after kids you realize you made a mistake and he wasn't. Then you spend the rest of your time forcing it to be something it is not.

You married your FWB, not your life lover.
Good luck in your future decisions.

Really? I think that's la la landish! If that is the case then there would be no divorces in Hollywood, NO???
So PP, are YOU in the "few out there" if not I think you are nuts~

I am sorry but I can't seem to understand your post. WHAT is it exactly you disagree with and WHY?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to a man who's become an unemployed, jealous, insecure, childish househusband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DWs are largely to be blamed. It is your fault so live with it!

You marry the guy just because you think this is your best chance at a stable relationship and kids, instead of marrying the guy for HIM.

Marry someone for THEM, not for anything else and then you will be happy.

I did marry the guy for him. It's 13 years later. Not much passion left in our relationship. He's largely a friend. That's life.

Marry someone who you can't get enough of; the person who you could spend the whole day looking in their eyes and being around them; the person whose faults turn you on instead of turns you off. When you do that, time or kids will NEVER change that connection because that is NATURAL. That is the marriage that ticks all the boxes, and there a quite a few out there.

Too many ppl settled for other things, and are now reaping the consequences....sorry to say but everything you post indicate you are one of them. Too many women allow the hormones from their biological clock to trick them into thinking this is the one. Obviously after kids you realize you made a mistake and he wasn't. Then you spend the rest of your time forcing it to be something it is not.

You married your FWB, not your life lover.

Good luck in your future decisions.

What if you married the wrong person. You had a terrible honeymoon and a terrible sexlife... But still had lots of IVF kids with them... Had a very lonely sexless life until you someone walks into your life that changes everything. You have a natural connection and attraction to them. You can not handle a day without them. You have the greatest Friendship and Sex with them... That would person feels the same about you. They are the person that you always wanted. Would you leave you husband for that person?
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have this massive garden.

It's beautiful at the peak of summer, all colors and different textures, butterflies and birds.
In winter, it's kind of plain, with the shapes and some colour from the perennial shrubs and plants.

Every year, the perennials come up, without fail. I don't do much with them, save dividing them when they need. Maybe a dead head here and there. Water them, don't water them, there they are - year after year, without fail. They're green and decent enough, they fill the garden and provide a backdrop.

What really is cool is the annuals I plant. They come in a million and one colors, they have the coolest textures and smells and I can change them out year after year. But, they need a lot of work. I have to deadhead them constantly so they don't seed and become leggy. I have to water them constantly because their roots don't really take hold. But I adore them, and they're the flashiest part of my garden. They make me ooh and aah, and they are just so awesome.

It's easy to forget that without my perennials, I wouldn't have much of a garden. They're the backbone, but they're always there, even if I kind of leave them on the back burner.


If I want the flash of the annuals, I have to work for it. Some years, I have the time and patience to start them from seed and it's nice to see them grow before they go in the garden. And they come up in a blaze of colour and make me grin ear to ear.

Other years, I just go to the garden center and plunk them in. Same joy, less work. But I still have to go buy them, plant them, tend them.

Point is: you want the colour and flash, you have to work at it. You need to plant the seeds, or dig the plants in. Some things need constant tending and work to flourish. I wouldn't have annuals unless I went through the time and effort to have and keep them. They don't come back like the perennials do, unless they get planted. You can't take annuals for granted, because they're fleeting if you don't take care of them.

Somebody's been reading a lot of Thoreau!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have this massive garden.

That's what they all say.

[Anonymous]

There are way worse things in life than having regular sweet sex with your best friend. Therapy. And read the unexpected legacy of divorce book. Grear book.

[Anonymous]

I don't think we are biologically programmed to be with one person for 30+ years. Hoping to have an open marriage soon....

[Anonymous]

One Marriage brought the spark back for me. The more his attention is elsewhere the more I want him.

It is like we are in college again. Sometimes we'll have sex 3xs in a day.