Sexual Harrassment at work - LONG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advising you in this situation is very hard because what is best for your employer/workplace (nailing this bastard to the wall) might harm this young woman's career or embroil her in serious difficulties.

When I was in my early 20s and just a couple of years out of law school, I had a partner literally grab my breast. I didn't tell on him or even tell him off. I just escaped and kept my mouth shut because I had six-figure debt and no one to help me if I lost my job. If someone had told for me, I would have been very upset because I needed that job. I kept my mouth shut, kept the job, paid off my debt, and got the hell out of dodge. Some women who hear my story feel that I was cowardly, but taking one for the team is overrated. Unless you can guarantee she will not be retaliated against, stigmatized, or exposed in ways that will make her uncomfortable on the job, I am not sure that it is right (from the perspective of what is right for this particular woman) for you to tell.

Then she should not have told the OP about it.

OP, I think you have an obligation to report this. Tell HR what she told you, and document that you encouraged her to report this to HR yourself. You're involved now whether you like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The young woman is looking for a permanent job at our company and I understand she does not want to be embroiled in a sexual harassment case.

Is she currently an employee at your company or at a temp agency?

Our company directly employs temps. She is an employee. Just a 3 month employee.

[Anonymous]

I just went through a harassment situation. I am older and more established in my career and it was hell. I changed jobs.

I think you need to go to HR and discuss options and how to handle harassment if for no other reason so you can get experience handling the situation. HR won't do anything unless she wants to so it does not hurt her going to HR. Good luck!

Also there should be employee assistance programs that can help coach the worker so she can stand up to the harassment.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks PPs. Someone encouraged me to look into alternate ways to report other than a formal complaint to HR. That made me remember we have an ombudsman's office at our company.

She wants me to go with her so we made a joint appointment. Unfortunately they can't see us until 5/4. He will advise me on whether I am obligated to report but more importantly he will help walk her through her options. The ombuds office is independent from our company. They take the lead from the employee which means they can simply be a sounding board or can advise and counsel her through the reporting process.

Since she is so young and vulnerable as one of the PPs mentioned was her own case, I really encouraged her to talk to the ombuds. Even if she decides not to report it, and I am not obligated to, she will at least learn the skills to deal with similar situations in the future (me too, but I am really going to support her).

Since the appt is so far away we are going to document the situation so we don't forget the details (she what happened and me, what she told me). They also told us we could email the ombuds office which we may do from an external email address. They also have an external address so there will be no record in our company email.

At the end of the day I still nee to decide what I am going to do. I am concerned that this might be a sign that he is getting careless with his advances rather than that this is just a one off. I may also see the ombuds alone b/c as a PP mentioned I need to figure out the balance between my obligations to the institution, this woman, and any potential future women.

What a day. I need some wine.

Thanks to all the PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just went through a harassment situation. I am older and more established in my career and it was hell. I changed jobs.

I think you need to go to HR and discuss options and how to handle harassment if for no other reason so you can get experience handling the situation. HR won't do anything unless she wants to so it does not hurt her going to HR. Good luck!

Also there should be employee assistance programs that can help coach the worker so she can stand up to the harassment.

Thank you PP. I am sorry this happened to you. I think we are on the right track now thanks to all the advice here.
As tough as this is for me I know it is so much more difficult for the victim. Good luck at your new job.

[Anonymous]

Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

This. It poses serious legal problems for you and for the company not to report it. You need to talk to your HR as soon as you can, even if you don't use names.

[Anonymous]

Imagine yourself getting deposed--or testifying before a jury--when she sues for sexual harassment. What do you hope you will be able to say? Act accordingly. Employment litigation is extremely common, and more likely to go to trial than most other types these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think you would be required to report it to HR.

This is a no brainer. There is probably a specific person to who my are required to report this.

Even if not, why in the hell would you even hesitate about reporting this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

This. It poses serious legal problems for you and for the company not to report it. You need to talk to your HR as soon as you can, even if you don't use names.

Plus 100000!

You are probably required to report it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

OP here. For me this is a grey area. We have what we affectionately called capital M managers and then the 1000s of the rest of us who manage staff but are called supervisors.
The rule is that Managers are obligated to report harassment but all other staff are not.

On top of making the appointment with the Ombudsman I did reach out to a few HR friends but none of them were in the office when I called. I will try them again tomorrow.

I plan to chat with the woman again tomorrow to see how she feels now that we have talked and she has slept on it. I have a feeling that once she puts in down in writing (which she is doing in preparation for the meeting with the ombuds) she is going to see how wrong it is and will want to report it.
I did express to her that I may be obligated to report it, but I really want her to come to the decision that she should report it, or at least let me report it.

Here's hoping she'll have a change of heart tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

This. It poses serious legal problems for you and for the company not to report it. You need to talk to your HR as soon as you can, even if you don't use names.

Plus 100000!

You are probably required to report it.

BTW this is not an American business but we do of course have a sexual harassment policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

This. It poses serious legal problems for you and for the company not to report it. You need to talk to your HR as soon as you can, even if you don't use names.

Plus 100000!

You are probably required to report it.

I'm an HR manager and this times 1000. Do not wait until May 5th to discuss with the ombudsman. You need to review your internal policies first thing tomorrow morning and discuss with HR. If the employee refuses to discuss the situation with HR, that is fine, but she needs to tell them that. You need to ensure that you are following company policy and reporting this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine yourself getting deposed--or testifying before a jury--when she sues for sexual harassment. What do you hope you will be able to say? Act accordingly. Employment litigation is extremely common, and more likely to go to trial than most other types these days.

Yup, if you don't report, you could be considered part of the problem for doing nothing about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost every American business has a written sexual harassment policy. If they don't, their general counsel is guilty of malpractice. Almost every single policy that I have seen states that a supervisor that becomes aware of harassment and does not report it to the appropriate folks at the company are subject to disciplinary action, up to termination, for the failure to report. You should immediately check your company's policy to see what your obligations are. Good luck to both of you.

OP here. For me this is a grey area. We have what we affectionately called capital M managers and then the 1000s of the rest of us who manage staff but are called supervisors.
The rule is that Managers are obligated to report harassment but all other staff are not.

On top of making the appointment with the Ombudsman I did reach out to a few HR friends but none of them were in the office when I called. I will try them again tomorrow.

I plan to chat with the woman again tomorrow to see how she feels now that we have talked and she has slept on it. I have a feeling that once she puts in down in writing (which she is doing in preparation for the meeting with the ombuds) she is going to see how wrong it is and will want to report it.
I did express to her that I may be obligated to report it, but I really want her to come to the decision that she should report it, or at least let me report it.

Here's hoping she'll have a change of heart tomorrow.

Do not hang your hat on the bolded. Report the situation.

I understand the empathy you have for this girl, but do not jeopardize yourself in the process.