If I want to reveal to the wife what her husband has been cheating...

[Anonymous]

Just leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Someone on the other thread already suggested it... but its really the best way.

Cut out letter from different magazines and write what you want.

[Anonymous]

The word is THAT.

You want to reveal THAT her husband has been cheating.

WHAT would be used to describe with what he has been cheating. For instance:

Here's WHAT your husband has been cheating with (followed by a picture of a horse).

THAT and WHAT. Not interchangeable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the one that talked endlessly about the anonymous text?

Yes. That didn't work. Her phone must be set up to not allow those texts or something, because it was sent back to me as undeliverable.

I still think there's a basic problem with your plan. If I remember correctly, you want to send an anonymous tip-off but you're nervous because you're the only one who has the tip-off information. But if the cheater happens to receive the box instead of your intended recipient, won't that person figure out who sent it even if you go to great lengths to hide the origin? And if the intended recipient opens the box, they will have much bigger problems than figuring out who opened it. So maybe it makes sense just to send a personal card that the cheater is less likely to open (my DH and I would feel free to open each other's packages but not each other's personal mail).

[Anonymous]

You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

[Anonymous]

Either tell her and own up to what you know or forget about it. Your posts are getting creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The word is THAT.

You want to reveal THAT her husband has been cheating.

WHAT would be used to describe with what he has been cheating. For instance:

Here's WHAT your husband has been cheating with (followed by a picture of a horse).

THAT and WHAT. Not interchangeable.

Yes I know...I noticed that mistake after it was already posted. I think I started out by saying "reveal to the wife what her husband has been doing" or something like that, but changed my mind, and didn't go far back enough in my editing. I really am aware of the difference between "what" and "that." Just a heads up, you may notice lots of typos in my posts as well. My keyboard sucks and sometimes even when I hit a key, it doesn't "go through" so I will have a missing letter or space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the one that talked endlessly about the anonymous text?

Yes. That didn't work. Her phone must be set up to not allow those texts or something, because it was sent back to me as undeliverable.

I still think there's a basic problem with your plan. If I remember correctly, you want to send an anonymous tip-off but you're nervous because you're the only one who has the tip-off information. But if the cheater happens to receive the box instead of your intended recipient, won't that person figure out who sent it even if you go to great lengths to hide the origin? And if the intended recipient opens the box, they will have much bigger problems than figuring out who opened it. So maybe it makes sense just to send a personal card that the cheater is less likely to open (my DH and I would feel free to open each other's packages but not each other's personal mail).

Thanks, good point. I think someone in that other thread mentioned that if it was a greeting card, he'd also be less likely to open it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the one that talked endlessly about the anonymous text?

Yes. That didn't work. Her phone must be set up to not allow those texts or something, because it was sent back to me as undeliverable.

I still think there's a basic problem with your plan. If I remember correctly, you want to send an anonymous tip-off but you're nervous because you're the only one who has the tip-off information. But if the cheater happens to receive the box instead of your intended recipient, won't that person figure out who sent it even if you go to great lengths to hide the origin? And if the intended recipient opens the box, they will have much bigger problems than figuring out who opened it. So maybe it makes sense just to send a personal card that the cheater is less likely to open (my DH and I would feel free to open each other's packages but not each other's personal mail).

I meant to write "they will have much bigger problems than figuring out who sent it." Obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

I know. I am struggling with that. The thing is, I really don't want to outright tell her. There are clues; it wouldn't be completely impossible for her to figure out on her own--but so far she hasn't. I really just want to give her a nudge in that direction. That way, she can say "I was looking into XYZ and I saw" instead of "I received a note that said on February 22 you were with Suzy Q at the Hilton."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

I know. I am struggling with that. The thing is, I really don't want to outright tell her. There are clues; it wouldn't be completely impossible for her to figure out on her own--but so far she hasn't. I really just want to give her a nudge in that direction. That way, she can say "I was looking into XYZ and I saw" instead of "I received a note that said on February 22 you were with Suzy Q at the Hilton."

Why? If you have specific, first-hand knowledge, and you really think she needs to know, just tell her. Why do you need to make this even harder for her? Why do you need to make her follow your clues? You're just playing mind games, and you are way over-invested in this. Either tell her or don't, but enough with the Nancy Drew crap.

[Anonymous]

OMG this is pathetic. OP, if the wife is a friend of yours, sit her down and tell her. If she's not, then stay the hell out of it. Do not send weird hints. That's just cruel.

Also, it will not play out as you think. Regardless of whether it's a suggestive text, book, or a straight up letter the wife will tell her husband that someone sent it to her. She won't know who you are, will likely assume that you're the OW, and she has no reason to protect you.

So, the husband will find out that someone tipped off his wife. Since that's a guarantee, just tell her, face to face, or forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG this is pathetic. OP, if the wife is a friend of yours, sit her down and tell her. If she's not, then stay the hell out of it. Do not send weird hints. That's just cruel.

Also, it will not play out as you think. Regardless of whether it's a suggestive text, book, or a straight up letter the wife will tell her husband that someone sent it to her. She won't know who you are, will likely assume that you're the OW, and she has no reason to protect you.

So, the husband will find out that someone tipped off his wife. Since that's a guarantee, just tell her, face to face, or forget about it.

I think the wife will protect you if you write her a card and lay out the basics -- the fact that you know because you know the OW but it would be damaging to you for the OW to find out you told and so you would appreciate if she could just look at ___ and ___ and draw her own conclusions and not bring you into it. Otherwise, she won't protect you, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Why do you have to tell her?

If you feel she should know, please have the dignity to tell her directly. Any other way is disrespectful to both of you.

Are you a former scorned lover of her husband, by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG this is pathetic. OP, if the wife is a friend of yours, sit her down and tell her. If she's not, then stay the hell out of it. Do not send weird hints. That's just cruel.

Also, it will not play out as you think. Regardless of whether it's a suggestive text, book, or a straight up letter the wife will tell her husband that someone sent it to her. She won't know who you are, will likely assume that you're the OW, and she has no reason to protect you.

So, the husband will find out that someone tipped off his wife. Since that's a guarantee, just tell her, face to face, or forget about it.

I think the wife will protect you if you write her a card and lay out the basics -- the fact that you know because you know the OW but it would be damaging to you for the OW to find out you told and so you would appreciate if she could just look at ___ and ___ and draw her own conclusions and not bring you into it. Otherwise, she won't protect you, in my opinion.

No - unless the OP tells the wife in person and asks the wife to leave her name out of it, the husband will find out. Even if OP writes an anonymous letter as you suggest, wife will likely assume it's the OW trying to keep from getting in trouble with the husband, and wife will tell. Basically, the only way OP can ask wife for favors is if wife knows who OP is.