If I want to reveal to the wife what her husband has been cheating...

[Anonymous]

I am wondering if the OP has had sex with the woman's husband in the past and now he is onto a new fling. If she tells the woman directly maybe she will be asked questions and be found out.

Regardless...OP...let it go and leave them alone!

[Anonymous]

Why, OP? What's your relationship with this couple?

[Anonymous]

OP on her other thread claimed to have a relationship with someone who was involved in the affair. She swore up and down that she was not the one having the affair. She said that she couldn't just tell the wife who she was because the cheater could make life difficult for her, but was never specific as to how this person would do that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's her boss?

[Anonymous]

If you INSIST on getting in the middle of someone elses marriage, do it the right way. Invite the wife out for drinks and have a frank discussion. If you don't feel you are able to have an open, honest communication with her - then don't try to play mind games with her. It is that simple. Even if you are the only one with the information. Why does that matter? You are not the one cheating. You are not in elementary school. The things you are talking about doing are incredibly juvenile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's her boss?

That was sort of the sense I had from OP's other thread -- she has a work relationship with the OW and is terrified of getting found out. Apparently, the OW would know it was her if she found out that someone told, so she wants to just give the wife some hints about where to look so it would seem like she figured it out for herself. She comes up with really clever plans to avoid being traced through technical means, but never really considers the problem that the wife is likely to confide in her husband if she gets a confusing message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

I know. I am struggling with that. The thing is, I really don't want to outright tell her. There are clues; it wouldn't be completely impossible for her to figure out on her own--but so far she hasn't. I really just want to give her a nudge in that direction. That way, she can say "I was looking into XYZ and I saw" instead of "I received a note that said on February 22 you were with Suzy Q at the Hilton."

Maybe the wife knows but doesn't want to fully acknowledge. Hell, maybe she has a thing on the side of her own and LIKES that her DH finds his lovin' somewhere else. Point is, butt out, OP!!

[Anonymous]

Paying cash also keeps you anonymous, nutcase. G/L with your homewrecking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

I know. I am struggling with that. The thing is, I really don't want to outright tell her. There are clues; it wouldn't be completely impossible for her to figure out on her own--but so far she hasn't. I really just want to give her a nudge in that direction. That way, she can say "I was looking into XYZ and I saw" instead of "I received a note that said on February 22 you were with Suzy Q at the Hilton."

Maybe the wife knows but doesn't want to fully acknowledge. Hell, maybe she has a thing on the side of her own and LIKES that her DH finds his lovin' somewhere else. Point is, butt out, OP!!

I was just about to write the same thing! You don't know who knows what or what agreements they have in their marriage OP. Stop obsessing.

[Anonymous]

If you're not close enough to the wife to tell her directly, you're not close enough to her to know what she does or does not know. It's clear you're trying to hurt someone in this situation, so who is it?

[Anonymous]

I'm in favor of telling. Get it all out in the open. The secrecy is what allows it to continue. You might not get the results that YOU want, but te married couple will have to deal with their shit. Better to do it now.

I didn't read through all the pages, but why can't you have lunch with this woman? She deserves having all of her questions answered.

[Anonymous]

Good god, OP. Buy a burner phone with cash. Pay some homeless guy $10 to tell her what you want to say, Walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's her boss?

That was sort of the sense I had from OP's other thread -- she has a work relationship with the OW and is terrified of getting found out. Apparently, the OW would know it was her if she found out that someone told, so she wants to just give the wife some hints about where to look so it would seem like she figured it out for herself. She comes up with really clever plans to avoid being traced through technical means, but never really considers the problem that the wife is likely to confide in her husband if she gets a confusing message.

YAAAAS. If I got one of these, I would be straight to my DH with a please explain. And OP, as we explained to you like 1000 times in the other thread, she may have no access to any of the records to which you are directing her. If you must send an anonymous message send a clear one: "Your husband is cheating on you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to send vague clues, mere hints with no specifics, to this woman? Uh, no. Don't. That's mind games.

I know. I am struggling with that. The thing is, I really don't want to outright tell her. There are clues; it wouldn't be completely impossible for her to figure out on her own--but so far she hasn't. I really just want to give her a nudge in that direction. That way, she can say "I was looking into XYZ and I saw" instead of "I received a note that said on February 22 you were with Suzy Q at the Hilton."

Why would you wish to torture and play mind games with her? Are you sadistic? Just tell her if you think she should know.

[Anonymous]

So OP, have you visited a therapist yet? You need to do this before you play around with the lives of others. You are mentally sick and need help.