How Much Freedom Do You Have To Decorate Your House?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll loan you my husband. He doesn't care AT ALL. It's kind of nice, but I'm indecisive too, so it can be a problem. Want to come over and decorate my house right down to the garbage cans? I'll be forever in your debt.

OP here. I'd love to!

[Anonymous]

I don't really like shopping so my wife does it for the most part unless she drags me along. She basically finds everything and I have veto power. I asked her to decorate my office and music room. For example, I hate wicker. My wife promised even before we got married to never buy anything in wicker. Hate the color maroon. Same thing.

[Anonymous]

I have free reign to decorate as I wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have free reign to decorate as I wish.

+1

[Anonymous]

My husband cares about the big stuff. I can do the little things. He gets all electronics and home gym freedom! I know lots of friends who have husbands with zero interest in decorating and these women have free reign.

[Anonymous]

My husband makes all the decorating decisions. He's better at it than I. I do wish I could paint a room the color I want, but I like the way he decorates and arguing over it isn't worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much of a free hand do you have to decorate your house the way you want? My H had an opinion on everything, and I never felt really free to do what I wanted with furniture, rugs, even trash cans. Yes, he had an opinion on trash cans.

H and I are now separated, and it feels *great* finally to be able to move things around the way I want to. I wondered if other people are allowed to decorate their homes however they want (within reason), or whether you have to clear everything with a spouse? The reason I am asking is because we are talking about reconciling, and I am trying to decide if I care about keeping this freedom. It's one small point in a very complicated mix of bigger issues, so please don't think this is the deciding factor. I was just curious what goes on in other people's houses!

OP, I need more information. How involved is your husband in the decorating and purchasing? If he expects you to go out and take care of things, but then sits back and shoots down every item you bring in, that's a huge problem. If the trash is piling up because there's no trash can in the kitchen, and HE is doing nothing about it, then he doesn't get to criticize the choice you make for a trash can if you go get one.

Now if everything is fine--you have a rug on the floor and dishes in the cabinet and a trash can in the kitchen--and you simply go out and purchase new versions of these items on your own, then yes, he gets a say. He does live there and has an opinion. Some spouses could care less, and others want to weigh in.

Which situation is more like what's going on in your house--the first scenario or the second scenario?

[Anonymous]

None at all, but I'm married to another woman. Occupational hazard. We both had opinions about every aspect of the wedding, too...

[Anonymous]

No, he picks everything and then things I like he won't like... Until 6 months later he all the sudden likes something I liked. Brings it up as his own idea . Wtf

[Anonymous]

My husband is my biggest fan, I love to decorate and probably should have gone into design. He will veto crazy ideas I have when needed (I wanted to stencil an entire ceiling once by hand. We had a 1 year old) but is really supportive.
He is amazing at picking out just the right paint color though. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

90%. dH likes my taste. I just do what I think looks nice.

[Anonymous]

Big stuff is joint decision, little stuff he could not care less. I let him make the decision on our new dining room furniture since he really loved it, even though I thought it was fine but not what I would have picked. OP, does your husband insist on his taste or does he just want things you both like? Can you divide the territory so that he gets sole decision on some things and you get it on others?

[Anonymous]

My husband really doesn't care, but I still try to incorporate things he would like or find comfortable. It is his house too. He just has no strong opinions on decor.

However, he is pretty cheap, so that can cramp my style some, although he he has backed off bit. We had a big fight over a $1000 bedroom set (dresser, chest, and two night stands). We had no bedroom furniture after moving cross country and he thought 1k was excessive.

We make 175k and have no debt and no childcare costs. It got a little ugly. I had to educate him on what furniture costs.

Lucky for him he married the right woman - I get insanely good deals on things and buy quite a bit second hand from Craigslist, in like new condition. But that was my breaking point. We now set aside house decor fund and I can pretty much do whatever I want with the house. But I try to be considerate and ask him if he is ok with stuff before doing it.

[Anonymous]

Seems to me that the bigger issue is that you need approval (hence, even going onto DCUM for opinions on this matter) and that he needs to control. Until you are willing to assert yourself, develop your own opinions, and stick to those opinions, you are better off working on your own issues before moving back in together.

[Anonymous]

My DH cares about price and overall look. He will occasionally suggest something which I will heed. I'm a designer at heart though so he defers to me. i can understand how frustrating it would be if two people have differing opinions on decor. Many of my friends have this problem with their SO.