A very interseting observation which I think is based on religion at my sons school

[Anonymous]

I agree with a pp. I think it simply boils down to commonalities that results from more time being spent together. Religious classes, religious camps in the summer, etc. this happened in my high school 20 years ago. The Jewish girls were a pretty tight group, but they had been going to Hebrew classes together for years as well as live away summer camps for years. A lot lived closer together in town, so they took the same bus and they hung out after school. Minus the live away camps, the same can be said for the Irish Catholics in our town (we really didn't have WASPs).

The boys didn't fall into this type of self-segregation. Instead they fell along the lines on extracurricular activities - hockey, gaming, track, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think it starts with the parents. My kids (all four of them) have close friends that are all different, Catholic, waspy, Jewish, Indian, African American.....and that is not unusual. So how is it that these kids often grow into adults who want to self segregate? I always wonder this, I personally look and like to have a varied group...that is important to me.

I do see some that will only get close to others just like them and no offense to anyone but Jewish people do tend to do this more at least in my kids school that is the case. But I have two friends that are Jewish who are not that way and are my very good friends.

I just find it interesting that kids do not differentiate the way adults do....where and when does that disconnect happen?

[Anonymous]

PS I do not think by someone I saying they have observed something always implies a negative, stop being so sensitive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PS I do not think by someone I saying they have observed something always implies a negative, stop being so sensitive!

Maybe because that's not what was said?

[Anonymous]

Ugh yes it was....look back and read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts with the parents. My kids (all four of them) have close friends that are all different, Catholic, waspy, Jewish, Indian, African American.....and that is not unusual. So how is it that these kids often grow into adults who want to self segregate? I always wonder this, I personally look and like to have a varied group...that is important to me.

I do see some that will only get close to others just like them and no offense to anyone but Jewish people do tend to do this more at least in my kids school that is the case. But I have two friends that are Jewish who are not that way and are my very good friends.

I just find it interesting that kids do not differentiate the way adults do....where and when does that disconnect happen?

when I was growing up, the groups were Black, Jewish, protestant and several varieties of Catholic -- Italian, Polish, German, Irish, Syrian. We all mixed based on neighborhood and school interests. It wasn't important to have a "varied" group -- it just happened. The Jews all lived in the rich part of town, so you wouldn't have any Jewish friends until high school unless you were rich too. And most of the Blacks lived in the poor part of town, so they mainly showed up in high school as well. But the protestants and Catholics were all over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people think I (as an adult) am cliquish, since the majority of my friends are Jewish. But the only reason for that is because I attend synagogue weekly, am involved with Jewish organizations and charities, and send my kids to a Jewish school.

When I was in college, I had a broader spectrum of friends from different nationalities and backgrounds but the majority of people I have met in the past 10 years in the DC-area have been Jewish.

Dont assume people are being cliquish bc they dont want to associate with people outside their religion/race, but sometimes, due to outside interests, it just works out like that. Athletes usually hang out with other athletes as well and less with the drama department.

This is clickish behavior. I mean, it's fine, but please own it. It's not just a coincidence. I'm sure you meet more than just Jewish people, but it is those people with whom you want to socialize.

There is frequently something weird and unpleasant about comments on these threads about Jews. If someone tells you they're active in their church and has a lot of friends through their church, you would think nothing of it.
The PP did not say they only have Jewish friends, just that the majority of people they meet are Jewish due to synagogue attendance.

Unfortunately, most middle and upper class Americans don't feel comfortable around Jews. There is definitely a lot of stereotyping and discriminating against Jews. Mormons and Jews often have a lot in common in terms of being an insular group.

[Anonymous]

To the above comment that seems like a very general statement that most middle to upper-class Americans do not feel comfortable around Jews - why do you say that and what do you base it on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the above comment that seems like a very general statement that most middle to upper-class Americans do not feel comfortable around Jews - why do you say that and what do you base it on?

Because they all live in the rich part of town of course (eye roll). But they are lovely people and saying that lets you be as bigoted as you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people think I (as an adult) am cliquish, since the majority of my friends are Jewish. But the only reason for that is because I attend synagogue weekly, am involved with Jewish organizations and charities, and send my kids to a Jewish school.

When I was in college, I had a broader spectrum of friends from different nationalities and backgrounds but the majority of people I have met in the past 10 years in the DC-area have been Jewish.

Dont assume people are being cliquish bc they dont want to associate with people outside their religion/race, but sometimes, due to outside interests, it just works out like that. Athletes usually hang out with other athletes as well and less with the drama department.

This is clickish behavior. I mean, it's fine, but please own it. It's not just a coincidence. I'm sure you meet more than just Jewish people, but it is those people with whom you want to socialize.

There is frequently something weird and unpleasant about comments on these threads about Jews. If someone tells you they're active in their church and has a lot of friends through their church, you would think nothing of it.
The PP did not say they only have Jewish friends, just that the majority of people they meet are Jewish due to synagogue attendance.

Unfortunately, most middle and upper class Americans don't feel comfortable around Jews. There is definitely a lot of stereotyping and discriminating against Jews. Mormons and Jews often have a lot in common in terms of being an insular group.

Yes, adherents of a religion that was invented 150 years ago by one man in about six weeks share much in common with adherents of a religion millennia old that evolved naturally. Mormons have to self-segregate because otherwise someone might shine a light on their beliefs. I just cannot think of a single reason that Jewish people, even more so than humans are naturally inclined, might find comfort in being with a like group. Like some shared traumas? Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the above comment that seems like a very general statement that most middle to upper-class Americans do not feel comfortable around Jews - why do you say that and what do you base it on?

Because they all live in the rich part of town of course (eye roll). But they are lovely people and saying that lets you be as bigoted as you want.

ridiculous and untrue statement. The ignorance here blows my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people think I (as an adult) am cliquish, since the majority of my friends are Jewish. But the only reason for that is because I attend synagogue weekly, am involved with Jewish organizations and charities, and send my kids to a Jewish school.

When I was in college, I had a broader spectrum of friends from different nationalities and backgrounds but the majority of people I have met in the past 10 years in the DC-area have been Jewish.

Dont assume people are being cliquish bc they dont want to associate with people outside their religion/race, but sometimes, due to outside interests, it just works out like that. Athletes usually hang out with other athletes as well and less with the drama department.

This is clickish behavior. I mean, it's fine, but please own it. It's not just a coincidence. I'm sure you meet more than just Jewish people, but it is those people with whom you want to socialize.

There is frequently something weird and unpleasant about comments on these threads about Jews. If someone tells you they're active in their church and has a lot of friends through their church, you would think nothing of it.
The PP did not say they only have Jewish friends, just that the majority of people they meet are Jewish due to synagogue attendance.

This is me as well. The jewish community is the center of my social life--for both me and the kids. We attend synagogue on Sat---that means playdates stem from whomever is there. The kids attend day school---I would guess that 90%+ of the population at the school has at least one jewish parent. The younger kids are in the synagogue preschool which has a judaics slant and while the school does not discriminate based on religion, I could see how a non-jewish person would feel uncomfortable with the judiacs component and the family centered activities at the synagogue (see Sat playdates). Since we're in synagogue on Sat, the kids need to find activities that meet on Sundays. It's easy to register for Sunday activities through the JCC. My mah jong and bridge games either occur at the JCC or the synagogue. My knitting group meets at synagogue. So if I see you on Sat morning, our kids go to school together and are on the soccer team together, and then I see you at a synagogue event, chances are we're going to be come friendly---maybe not best friends, but certainly social.

You've chosen this life though. In other words you go out of your way to spend time with Jewish people and never seem out anyone who isn't. It's the same for catholic school parents who only do things with their church. You'd think these people would actively seek out a group activity that would not revolve around their religion but they actively try to cloister themselves from the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with being into your religion. I do think there is something wrong with going about as if the people like you are the only ones that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it starts with the parents. My kids (all four of them) have close friends that are all different, Catholic, waspy, Jewish, Indian, African American.....and that is not unusual. So how is it that these kids often grow into adults who want to self segregate? I always wonder this, I personally look and like to have a varied group...that is important to me.

I do see some that will only get close to others just like them and no offense to anyone but Jewish people do tend to do this more at least in my kids school that is the case. But I have two friends that are Jewish who are not that way and are my very good friends.

I just find it interesting that kids do not differentiate the way adults do....where and when does that disconnect happen?

I have the same question. From dating a Jewish person I think the pressure doesn't start until kids get older and marriage is on the horizon. Also the bigger the group is in a certain area the more a minority feels excluded. I love the couple of Jewish friends near me but purposefully didn't seem to live in MD because of the clique behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gee that's fascinating. Since statistically this area has a lot of Jews and a lot of Wasps, isn't it a fantastic coincidence too that people have a peer group kind of like themselves? And your anecdata is so compelling since it's based on only your one experience at one school and nothing else.

But you go on thinking it's a big conspiracy. And of course, the fact that you preceded your "interesting observation" (read: bigoted thought) by telling us they are "lovely people" makes it all okay.

Yeah OP, don't you know that "observing" is actually code for "being bigoted?"

Yes, all my life I've heard these "interesting observations" about Jews, always referred to as "lovely people," and yes, they are code for bigotry. The interesting observation is, of course, always something negative.

Oh FFS. Jews are an overrepresented, highly privileged minority in the US. You're hardly the victim of bigotry, but keep on playing that card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gee that's fascinating. Since statistically this area has a lot of Jews and a lot of Wasps, isn't it a fantastic coincidence too that people have a peer group kind of like themselves? And your anecdata is so compelling since it's based on only your one experience at one school and nothing else.

But you go on thinking it's a big conspiracy. And of course, the fact that you preceded your "interesting observation" (read: bigoted thought) by telling us they are "lovely people" makes it all okay.

Yeah OP, don't you know that "observing" is actually code for "being bigoted?"

Yes, all my life I've heard these "interesting observations" about Jews, always referred to as "lovely people," and yes, they are code for bigotry. The interesting observation is, of course, always something negative.

Oh FFS. Jews are an overrepresented, highly privileged minority in the US. You're hardly the victim of bigotry, but keep on playing that card.

So, if I understand this post, because Jews are "overrepresented" and "highly privileged" -- whatever that means -- anyone can say whatever they like about them. Bigotry is meaningless. How does that work? And what "card" have I played?

And how does your formula play out, if I understand this? Does rich, privileged Zendaya not get to call bullshit on Guiliana Rancic's racism? Is she "playing a card" too?