A suicide at UVA

[Anonymous]

Yes it is beyond sad, hard to imagine how a family can get through it, I would imagine there is a lot of self blame.

I just hope our world will be a place sooner than later that these kids know they don't have to leave behind but instead can find solace and comfort without being judged. Breaks my heart every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

Here's the difference: when a college kid dies of cancer, most people understand it for what it is -- $hit luck -- and have nothing but compassion. They do not usually speculate about the factors which might have led to the uncontrolled growth of malignant cells, or blame the kid or the family. They don't usually ask how the end came. Did he bleed out, did his organs shut down? When a college kids dies by suicide, however, people first ask, "How did he do it?" and then feel entitled to probe into the victim's personal life for an possible contributing factors and judge him and his family. What was wrong with him? What did his parents do wrong? What drove him to do it? People commit suicide because they have unbearable psychic pain and the means and willingness to harm themselves. Learning the personal circumstances surrounding one individual's suicide does not generally contribute to an understanding of suicide in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

I've had cancer and you wouldn't believe the number of people who quizzed me on risk factors in order to figure out why I got it and they are safe. "Do you have a family history? Did you smoke? Were you obese? on and on. People may not do it with a young person because they don't assume these factors, or any factors, contribute but that is not the same with suicide. So a student with cancer is just not a good analogy.

Plus I've never seen a post "a cancer death at [wherever]. Precisely because people aren't as intent on figuring out why, so they can feel safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

I've had cancer and you wouldn't believe the number of people who quizzed me on risk factors in order to figure out why I got it and they are safe. "Do you have a family history? Did you smoke? Were you obese? on and on. People may not do it with a young person because they don't assume these factors, or any factors, contribute but that is not the same with suicide. So a student with cancer is just not a good analogy.

Plus I've never seen a post "a cancer death at [wherever]. Precisely because people aren't as intent on figuring out why, so they can feel safe.

Well clearly you cannot compare the speculation factor on something as mysterious as suicide over for the most part a predetermined propensity to developing a cancer cell. Just by its very nature, suicide will ALWAYS evoke immense speculation and why's. OP was asking a simple question if anyone had heard and this is what communities do, they talk about (hopefully in a sensitive fashion). The more it is talked about and tried to be understood hopefully the stigma is start to be unveiled.

It is my opinion that mental illness needs to be seen as any other illness is- no fault of the person who has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

I've had cancer and you wouldn't believe the number of people who quizzed me on risk factors in order to figure out why I got it and they are safe. "Do you have a family history? Did you smoke? Were you obese? on and on. People may not do it with a young person because they don't assume these factors, or any factors, contribute but that is not the same with suicide. So a student with cancer is just not a good analogy.

Plus I've never seen a post "a cancer death at [wherever]. Precisely because people aren't as intent on figuring out why, so they can feel safe.

Well clearly you cannot compare the speculation factor on something as mysterious as suicide over for the most part a predetermined propensity to developing a cancer cell. Just by its very nature, suicide will ALWAYS evoke immense speculation and why's. OP was asking a simple question if anyone had heard and this is what communities do, they talk about (hopefully in a sensitive fashion). The more it is talked about and tried to be understood hopefully the stigma is start to be unveiled.

It is my opinion that mental illness needs to be seen as any other illness is- no fault of the person who has it.

While I agree with your conclusion that mental illness needs to be seen as any other type of illness, and not to digress, but this is an absolutely false view of cancer. While there are hereditary cancers, they are a very small proportion of cancers. The vast majority of cancers are not "predetermined." The precise "causes" are generally unknown. And its this idea that there is some kind of predetermined factor that leads people to quiz cancer patients to find out what "it" is so they can determine they are safe. You are not safe.

Suicide should have a stigma, not that survivors and family members should feel shame, but we need to keep it from being normalized. It is that normalization that leads to additional suicides.

Let's talk about mental illness. As someone who has had it and has close family members who have also been affected, I am all for that. Unfortunately people only want to talk about it when ti seems so dramatic. This is about looky-loo's, not a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

I've had cancer and you wouldn't believe the number of people who quizzed me on risk factors in order to figure out why I got it and they are safe. "Do you have a family history? Did you smoke? Were you obese? on and on. People may not do it with a young person because they don't assume these factors, or any factors, contribute but that is not the same with suicide. So a student with cancer is just not a good analogy.

Plus I've never seen a post "a cancer death at [wherever]. Precisely because people aren't as intent on figuring out why, so they can feel safe.

Well clearly you cannot compare the speculation factor on something as mysterious as suicide over for the most part a predetermined propensity to developing a cancer cell. Just by its very nature, suicide will ALWAYS evoke immense speculation and why's. OP was asking a simple question if anyone had heard and this is what communities do, they talk about (hopefully in a sensitive fashion). The more it is talked about and tried to be understood hopefully the stigma is start to be unveiled.

It is my opinion that mental illness needs to be seen as any other illness is- no fault of the person who has it.

While I agree with your conclusion that mental illness needs to be seen as any other type of illness, and not to digress, but this is an absolutely false view of cancer. While there are hereditary cancers, they are a very small proportion of cancers. The vast majority of cancers are not "predetermined." The precise "causes" are generally unknown. And its this idea that there is some kind of predetermined factor that leads people to quiz cancer patients to find out what "it" is so they can determine they are safe. You are not safe.

Suicide should have a stigma, not that survivors and family members should feel shame, but we need to keep it from being normalized. It is that normalization that leads to additional suicides.

Let's talk about mental illness. As someone who has had it and has close family members who have also been affected, I am all for that. Unfortunately people only want to talk about it when ti seems so dramatic. This is about looky-loo's, not a conversation.

Oh please do not make such an ignorant statement!! Only when these stigmas are removed do people start feeling like its OK to seek the help they need hopefully well before they would even feel compelled to contemplate suicide. But right now mental illness is seen as such a discuss behind the curtain kind of subject that people are ashamed and frankly scared to come out with admitting they are suffering. The stigma needs to be removed to allow for those who need the help to feel as comfortable as someone who has any other illness to seek proper help. Could not disagree (respectfully) more!

[Anonymous]

I just don't see how speculating about a stranger's personal life helps erase the stigma of suicide.

[Anonymous]

PP. and I agree that depression and suicidal ideation should not be stigmatized -- yes people should feel no shame in getting help -- we have to be very careful about suicide itself. It should never be just another choice to people. It should never feel normal in any way. When I wrote that suicide should have a stigma, I meant it should feel taboo. Not suicidal ideation, suicide itself.

From what I've read about suicide I think experts agree with me. Depression is not contagious but suicide is. Every person who dies by suicide increases the risk that family members will also die by suicide. And at colleges, it increases the risk that other students will die by suicide. That is why experts say over and over again that suicides should not get a lot of press attention.

[Anonymous]

This says it better than I did:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/14/upshot/the-science-behind-suicide-contagion.html?abt=0002&abg=1

[Anonymous]

I don't know if anyone is watching the Academy Awards but one of the directors who won for a documentary whose name I did not catch said specifically what this post is about that we need to start talking about suicide and bring it out of the shadows and that is absolutely correct!

[Anonymous]

I do not think that there any reports that say that suicide can trigger the domino effect for more suicides anymore than any other type of violent crime can have the same trigger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if anyone is watching the Academy Awards but one of the directors who won for a documentary whose name I did not catch said specifically what this post is about that we need to start talking about suicide and bring it out of the shadows and that is absolutely correct!

She was speaking about her own son's death by suicide. Not a random lady gossiping about something she overheard in the beauty shop about a kid and situation that she doesn't know a single thing about. Other than that, good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not think that there any reports that say that suicide can trigger the domino effect for more suicides anymore than any other type of violent crime can have the same trigger

Your really need to read before you opine on such important matters. Your vocal ignorance does a great injustice to an important topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not think that there any reports that say that suicide can trigger the domino effect for more suicides anymore than any other type of violent crime can have the same trigger

There are a VAST number of reports that find this very thing. Maybe you should google before you write. There are numerous articles directed at media outlets with advice as to how to cover suicides so as not to produce this effect (and when the media follows this advice, suicides in that area can actually go down).

[Anonymous]

such a shame. what's going on down there? Scary.